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Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly

Heather225 August 7th, 2020

Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory.
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!

â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.

â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.

â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.

â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.

â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.

â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.

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Question time!

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

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This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.

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DancingHeart4982 December 9th, 2021

@Heather225

1. Yes, I have often found myself at situations like this. I usually try to understand the perspective of the other person and try to understand how this conflict arose and what we can do to solve it.

If 2 other people are in conflict, I think it would be helpful to make them talk to each other and understand their points.

2. My tip for resolution is to listen before you talk. We often get too focused on conveying what we want to say and while doing so, we fail to listen the message the other person wants to convey. Just like how it is said to think before you speak, let's try to listen before we speak too.



1 reply
CaringEzra February 14th, 2022

Definitely a good point to listen before you speak

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mikacv December 14th, 2021

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes I have! When I have a conflict with one of my friends, I am usually honest with them and let them know how I feel/my thoughts in a civil manner and let them have the floor to give me their point of view. I think when you approach the conflict in an accepting and open manner, there is no space for either of the people involved to get angry, defensive, or negative about the situation. In the end, it is better to resolve the conflict in a 'pleasant' manner so you don't lose a friend, and you come out of the conflict in a better state of mind (:

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

I think I would say it is important to not let your emotions get to you. Even if the other person becomes hostile verbally or attacks you in a way that makes you angry or upset, it's important to keep a calm/collected manner and not reply back in the same negative way. If more people become this way, the conflict will escalate and more than likely get worse, and not resolved.

1 reply
CaringEzra February 14th, 2022

I definitely agree trying to keep your emotions in check you don’t get much accomplished before everyone calms down

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DarkPiT23 January 7th, 2022

Yes, I have been in a conflict. I have always slowed down and try to listen to the other person with their point of view to not escalate the situation.


It's always important to listener more than you speak. It helps us grow and learn the mindsets of different people

1 reply
hopezzy January 14th, 2022

@DarkPiT23 Listening to others during a conflict does make the air around it better!

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Kindwords2000 January 7th, 2022

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes I have been in a situation where I had to resolve conflict, I resolved it by trying to keep the individual calm to to not to make the situation worse, I tried to ask questions about their problem to get a bit more understanding of what was happening for them rather than assuming.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

To listen to the individual rather than talking more

Listeningstars January 11th, 2022

- Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

= I mean who hasn’t been? I usually follow, the “ask questions to understand more, and express feelings rather than judging”

-  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

= If you are very irritated or angry, take some time to think and put your anger in check then start communicating.

Gnibellen January 13th, 2022

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

I have been on either side of conflict resolution. I resolved it by actively listening in that situation, and making the person feel heard.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Tips that I can think of to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution is to be an active listener, let everyone speak their piece, and focus on what's helpful.

hopezzy January 14th, 2022

@Heather225 1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes. By stepping back and slowing down, we can take our time to reflect on the conflict. It gives the other person to reflect on their situation too. And finding common grounds did work for me every time. After that, we can state our different opinions. It makes the other people feel heard.


2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Slowing down and stepping back works fine, but occasionally some people forget about conflict resolution after some time. In my opinion, forgetting about the conflict is not a healthy conflict resolution strategy. We should communicate how we feel and hear the other person too. We should not ignore it like it didn't happen.

dudewithaplan January 24th, 2022

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes i have been in a situations between my friend and his girlfriend. I try to show them how other side is feeling about the problems they are having. It help them to empathize and further their relationship.


2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

maybe you should be patient and always remain cool in this sitations.

00Michelle00 January 26th, 2022

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? yes How did you resolve it? Usually having a conversation.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

1. Respond with calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions.

2. A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger.

3. The ability to listen seeking compromise.

AliveandAlive January 29th, 2022

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, I have been is a conflicting resolution situation many a times. I resolve it by actively listening to both the parties and asking open ended questions. I then ask analyse it with them together and come to common grounds and understanding to move forward.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? Active listening and asking open ended questions is very important to understand the situation and conflict in a better way.

1 reply
MelodyoftheOcean May 20th, 2022

@AliveandAlive

Open ended questions can make a discussion so much more understanding for both parts, thank you for the contribution!

May 27th, 2022

@AliveandAlive

Those are some really do ways to use when things get tense.

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