Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip
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Our next objective in this course is to master effective communication skills for healthy interpersonal and professional relationships.
Please watch this video
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers  in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
1. Gossiping is bad because it makes everyone feel awful. You feel more negative after partaking in it because you know it's not very nice, the person you're gossiping too now doesn't trust you and feels bad and the person you gossiped about will feel betrayed and hurt when they find out.
2. I really like the idea of saying something postive about the person being discussed, it allows everyone to know that you like this person and they shouldn't say anything bad about them in front of you.
@gentleFox20
It's really nice that you shared you idea here! Simply reject to join in gossip might be easier, but it's really courageous to say something positive about the person when other people talking behind his or her back!
@gentleFox20
Absolutely, gossiping hurts everyone. I think, saying something positive about the person that it's gossiped about, takes a lot of courage, and it's hard to change topic afterwards. Have you a different experience with that?
@gentleFox20
Mentioning to others that you like the person is a good suggestion, absolutely! It also subtly let's people know that gossiping about that person is inappropriate.
1. Why is gossiping bad?
I learned that gossiping makes other people associate this person with the bad trait this person mention. In addition, other people may suspect that this person talks behind their back to and thus not trusting this person.
Personally, I think gossip makes people less unlikely to try new topics and appreciate people around them.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
“I know nothing about the situation so I could not comment”
(I feel like this statement is easier for the person who invite one to gossip to understand)
Also I learned that exploring new things and topic could helps someone to get rid of the trait. I used to gossip a lot when I was in middle school to be honest. But I find it boring after finding a hobby I truly like.
@Glencia89
I really like the statement you took - I chose a similar one. Also, I admire that you reflect your past behaviours and are willing to change them! That's an amazing trait!
@Glencia89
Gossiping really does make people associate this person with a bad trait. It's also incomplete information too, so it's hard to see bad traits in context. As in: is that behaviour justified? Is it really that commonly displayed by this person? Do they have good character traits as well?
@Glencia89
I like the idea of trust, trust is so important!
@Heather225
Gossiping is ba because it may end up spreading false rumours about others that may hurt the person about whom the gossip is done . The situation or the topic can be really sensitive for a person and I think matters like this must be taken seriously instead of gossiping that may worsen the situation more for that person .
What I have learnt from the video is that we never know the other side of the sory or the other person's perspective so without knowing anything its never ever right to talk about it .
@PhoenixTears5972
I absolutely agree with you - we never know the other person's perspective. And even if we did, it probably wouldn't be our position to judge and talk about it.
I wish you all the best with your LDP!
@audienta
i loved your outlook on gossip!
@audienta Yes , thank you !! And All the best to you too for your LDP journey ❤️
@PhoenixTears5972 thank you for sharing your answer. Loved reading it.
@StarrrGirl20 Thank you !!
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping excludes the person that is gossiped about and puts them into a bad light. Also, it often makes people that have to listen to you uncomfortable and worried that you might judge about them as well, and they are likely to project the bad qualities that you are giving to your victim onto yourself. So gossiping isn't good for anyone - not for the person you talk about, not for the people that listen to you and even not for yourself.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"I don't know enough about this situation to comment on it." (minute 2.52)
I really like this statement combined with the topic changing tips. For me, gossiping makes me feel really uncomfortable, so when I'm in a group that starts to gossip, I usually just zone out since I don't know how to react. I really liked the last topic tip (health and wellness) since that's actually a small talk topic that I probably can talk about for more than 10 seconds.
@audienta
Truly said, the video was very precise and connectable in every aspect.
Yo, nice insights! Gossiping does unintentionally excludes a person. And yeah it usually makes people uncomfortable.
@audienta
Great how you've highlighted it doesn't benefit anyone.
@Heather225
Gossiping is bad because it creates a toxic environment where gossiping is normal and accepted, meaning that everyone can gossip about everyone. This fosters distrust and disrespect and discourages vulnerability, which is a necessary component for forming deep bonds.
I like the statement: “I don’t know the person’s perspective, so I prefer not to discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.”
@Glue
You have made ur point.
Its all negative so its always best to stay away from negativity.
@Glue
your encouragment is well appreciated glue!
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Because it can be hurtful for the other person who you gossip about. It can also result in spreading lies about something.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
You don't know the other person's perspective.
@Ninziesss
Very true
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping in short is Negativity. It ruins the mind state of the person doing, the people hearing and of-course participating "at the very moment" . In short the whole atmosphere is affected is all negative. As rightly said - "gossiping is the faceless demon that breaks hearts and ruins careers. It is a three prolonged tongue that kills three people: The teller, the listener and the person being gossiped about."
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
If the person is unknown- " As I don't know the person or the situation being discussed, I am no right person to talk or judge on this"
If the person is known - " I always had a good and a healthy relationship with him"
@LoveTracker
Thank you for this Tracker! I agree gossip is fully negative and rarely if ever leads to any good. <3
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
gossiping is bad because it is poisonous and links negatively on you, it will leave you and the person that you were gossiping with in a negative state, it also shows that you are untrustful
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
" i don't know enough about the situation enough to comment on it" also pointing out a positive trait about the person that is being gossiped about!
@magicalOcean594
Great response Ocean, thank you <3
@Heather225
1) Gossiping is bad as it can damage someone’s mental health. Gossip is a vicious cycle of hate that only has negative impacts. Its only focus is to harm others even though people may do it to make themselves look better it only makes them look worse. Gossip involves talking about an individual behind their back to someone else. It is usually without their consent or knowledge. Gossip also links with rumours. Gossip is normally how rumours are started. People can often feel betrayed by people due to gossiping and it can cause people to lose trust. This can cause a person's mental health to deteriorate as they have no trust and may fear sharing. Gossip can cause anxiety such as the feeling that everyone is talking about you.
Those are really nice statements!❤️
Yeah, gossiping harms mental health in many ways and it's usually a vicious cycle in this world.
I was replying to @calmwaves3939
(I forgot to tag)
@Aileen1114117
Thank you for the lovely response Alieen <3
Agreed, it's a cycle <3
1. It makes people uncomfortable and feel like they have less privacy
2. You will never know how the person you gossiped feel
Well said and straight to the point <3
@Aileen1114117 I had two experiences one where one of my best friends said that I was gossipping about one of my other friends who wasn't doing it. My friend told me how her other friend felt and really didn't believe me when I told her that I wasn't talking about them. The second experience I had was when I was in the bathroom at my high school and the same friend and another friend were in the bathroom talking and I heard them talking about me and I told my friend later on and she said that she didn't know I was in there.
@Aileen1114117
thanks for being here on cups, I'm proud of you.
~ "little reminder: Your loved"
- Lena