Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
mom said that i should have a couple of hours a day free from screens. her explanation was that you have to have time to just be, because that’s when you’re connected to yourself. i get the idea, but you see, mom, when i’m repeatedly thinking about my own death, trying to avoid remembering certain painful memories and in a loud endless war with my mind, then taking away the distractions is really not the solution. because then i’ll go for different distractions and methods and that’s really not better. trust me.
too tired.
btw, if anyone here feels like i haven’t been around lately or reached out, then yeah it’s true. it’s not intentional, i’m just tired. exhausted, even. it takes too much effort to even do something as simple as reaching out and asking about someone’s day. thinking of replies has become hard. i’m sorry. i do think about it constantly, believe me. and i do feel guilty and bad about it. what a friend. but i try. i try to try, at least. i still have you all in my mind all the time. but i might keep to myself for a little. i’m open to talking, i just won’t be the starter of it, probably.
(also, a little note, when i upvote a post, it doesn’t mean i agree to it always. like when it’s some negative comment about someone’s self, then my upvote will mean that i saw it and saw them, not that i necessarily agree. felt like i had to clarify that, just in case. idk.)
<3
idek if i put my correct exact birth date here on cups.
@justmeeva wait why…? what happened ❤️ *no pressure*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
oh i just meant that when i first made my account, i’m not sure if i put my correct birthdate there, started to think about it heh. and i don’t think i can check it anywhere so
@justmeeva maybe you can email them and ask them? idk
