Eva’s Crazy Mind

@justmeeva

🥺 i hope you’re safe and trying to be kind to you friend. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*sending hugs to you if okay* 🩷

@justmeeva

hugs <3 

hey girlie. just checking up on you. how you holding up?

@EmmyMarie06 

i’m fine, a few little setbacks but it’s fine. thank you ❤️

@justmeeva   I get it. "fine" is sometimes the only way to describe things. anything I can help with? honestly just dump a load on me please!!!

@EmmyMarie06 

it’s really really nice of you, i appreciate it so much, but i don’t think there’s anything you can do, sorry. just the mood’s kind of on the lower side i guess. i’ll be ‘able to’ keep myself busy for at least some time tho, i have quite some stuff i should do. but really, thank you <3

@justmeeva   oh ik that there's nothing I can do. but there are things I can say that might click in your mind. no 14 year old needs to feel like this. have fun with your stuff :)

*sigh*..

man i had already almost forgotten, i had already almost moved on, and then.. i get reminded again and i’m back to the start, back to remembering it all.

*sigh*..

to risk it and have a possibility of solving things or making everything worse, or to not risk it and keep it as it is, time passing, “too late” coming closer. 

hmm. 

tempting..

what if it fixes everything? but also, what if it ends everything? 

…

i  d  k. 

sometimes i wish i could stop caring so much about everything, even just for a day. but i can’t. 

things are looking a little *extra* impossible and overwhelming tonight. 

… mom almost saw something she shouldn’t have seen. that was way too close. *** you gotta be more careful eva. 

yet another thing i did *not* want to know. greattt..

@justmeeva *sits with eva*

@unassumingEyes 

*sits* <3

@justmeeva

thinking of you, my lovely friend. i miss you :') i’m so sorry i haven’t been on as much as i’d like to be… 😞 ni friend has been a busy bee, travelling around the city :') when i’m home i don’t seem the have the mental energy to reply to some tags especially the longer messages… :') so i’m sort of on a break. 💜 

i love you friend 💜 i’ll try to reply to your tags soon. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

aww it’s completely okay nibuddy 🩷 i did notice you were a little away, i just hoped and hope you’re okay 🥺 i’ll wait for you, but take all your time alrighty? i love you too 💕

@justmeeva

awwe 🥺 :') just eva beanie being her vvv understanding self always. 💜 i appreciate you, and love you lots ✨ more ✨ 😎 lol 💜 

we’ve arrived home earlier today so i have some time to chill on cups 🥺

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*1h later although i planned to answer all this time but so many things kept me busy*

ni ni ni no no no. smh we’ve talked about this. it’s not possible to love an eva more than an eva can love a ni. how do you love more than endlessly? 🤨🥺 it may be a tie but more? nonono. /lh i swear despite how it might sound

@justmeeva

“it’s not possible to love an eva more than an eva can love a ni” 🥺 omg this entire post was so funny and adorable lol whyyy 🥺😭😂💜 hmm 🤔 we can have a tie then 💜 *gives you a trophy* 🏆✨

*the future* ⬇️

me sitting 🪑 trying to think of a way i can bypass our deal and win 🤔🤔🤔🤔 but you don’t know that 😎 shhhh it’s a secret ✨

i think just being loved by evabuddybeanie means so freaking much 🥺 and being loved endlessly? 🥺😭

and nuuu i don’t think there’s more than one of youu, there can’t be 💜 you’re unique 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*out of words because crying of “awwhhh”* 🤧😭 *just hugs you because “awwhhh”* 😭🩷

@justmeeva 

🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💕💕💕

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

exactly my brain right now 😭🩷

cool.. thanks life. 

you really can’t let me have a single *** okay day huh. 

if nothing changes soon enough, it’s gonna be another fun night. 

@justmeeva *sits with eva and hopes brain is kind* 

i just found something i made a few months ago. it’s.. oof. 

*my brain having a debate right now*
 

to send it or to not. i’m really close to.. but i’m scared of what will happen next. 

i d k. 

ykw? *** it. what could possibly go wrong?

what if it was a mistake?
what if it was a mistake?
what if it was a mistake?

tw? 

suddenly, i seem to have to remind myself to breathe. (i’m freaking out.)

confusion. pure confusion. 

apparently, i was just wrong. but was i tho?

trying really hard not to snap and do something right now. 

it’s all pointless why am i here every *** thing reminds me of something that’s painful to remember and i can’t escape it when is it gonna finally *** stop

maybe i should just stay away from everyone forever, that could be a great idea