Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
there is no hope or positivity left in me.
@justmeeva
*sits with my lovely friend and sends her massive huggie wuggies if okie - because she so deserves them* 🥺🫂💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugs ni friend tight and doesn’t let go for a loong time* 🩷
@justmeeva
*hugs evabuddybean tight and doesn’t let go ever* 🥺💙 how are you feeling today buddy? 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
the morning was bad… which made all sorts of thoughts haunt me for hours.. but atm it’s okie. how’s ni fren? 💕
@justmeeva
mhm :’) me saw evabuddybeanie’s posts. and tbh eva, ni friend is not you :’) me not in your shoes or in your head so i’m not sure what it’s exactly like 💙 but me understand and me can imagine how haunting thoughts can be. :’) it must be so painful to have to deal with them every day lovely 😞 *keeps huggie-ing evabuddybean* 💜 i’m proud of you for making it this far and for being here 💙 for still standing despite it all. even though you might not see it right now 💜 your strong 💙 and i appreciate that. i appreciate you 💜
me glad it’s okie atm, though. me here if you need, okie? 💙
i’m… idk. i’ve been like this lately lol 🤧 just… the idk-mood xD it’s my new default mood 🤭🤭 haha. 💜 tw/sh - last night me fought urges though so i’m proud of myself for that 🥺 me didn’t do anything to hurt self last night. :') thank you for asking lovely 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i’m happy you’re here ni fren 🩷
ik i’m probably not much help but you can still always come to me okie? i am so so so proud of you too 🥺. keep trying oke?
i loves you so much my fren 💕
*still hugs forever* 🫂
@justmeeva
last night when ni was thinking of doing the thingy, me reminded self of eva friend and her words 💜 so no :’) i disagree 💙 your way more help than you think you are lovely. 💜
i’ll keep trying… as long as you do too? 🥺 we can try together. 💙 and trying is good. 💜
i love you so much too 💙 *forever hugs*
@justmeeva
*keeps hugging* i’m defo not letting go of this hug.🥺💙
i can feel myself becoming more and more useless day by day.
@justmeeva
me understand the feeling… but has to disagree. your never useless 🥺 never ever. 💜 *hugs* you’ve always been so helpful buddy :’) and so caring 💙 the love, the warmth, the kindness you’ve brought with you - those things that come from *you* 💜 are never useless. 💙 me promise 🥺
oof. i just read what i wrote again and i just need to say me didn’t mean to make you feel worse about it :') me so sorry if i intrude eva friend’s space (?) 🤧
@LoveMyMoonflowers
no no you didn’t do anything wrong. it’s very sweet of you and i kind of needed that.. thank you 🥺🩷
@justmeeva
hate me how ever much you want life, but i’m begging you, don’t make my night thoughts become my 24/7 thoughts..
funny how i start making up the most depressing and heartbreaking quotes, ideas, scenarios and whatever other stuff at night. funny.
it’s 8pm brain. 8pm. i should have hours left. why am i sloowly starting to get thoughts already? they’re not flowing in and out but they come one by one and they don’t leave. what a shame.
*sigh*. i honestly don’t have the strength to try to keep them away anymore. let the night start early then i guess.
so it’s not that bad atm (yet), but the thoughts are lol. i can still come out of the dark place for now if needed. don’t mind the next posts i’m gonna make tho, they’re uh… you’ll see.
it’s definitely helping to go through the sad quotes and messages in pinterest :D but hey, at least i feel understood? at least it’s relatable? at least it kinda makes me feel better although it doesn’t make anything better? yk?