in the wonders of my mind💗.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didn’t look like me🧐makes sense doesn’t it😛since there can only be one *me*✨one of a kind now arent I😁/sar. one out of 8118835999✨🌷can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss you’re also one of a kind💖 sorrysorry haha :P🤍im just messing around xD💞also it’s 2am- but shush no snitching🤫I’ll sleep in a while😁when I’m feeling a bit more sane :>😛🩷
wanted to have my own space.💜 for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.💙
to whoever's coming across :'3💜please dont lurk here.🩷 I know anyone can have access to this forum :')💙but please be respectful🩷.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :P💛 y’all get crazy nosy haha- it’s alright.💛nothing too interesting will be here anyway💛if you would like to come in and be supportive it’s completely okie💛but please don’t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limit💛because I’d still like this to be just my space ^-^💛)
guess who just lost someone else?? me!!! I just lost someone else!!! that listener that actually meant a lot to me and I would’ve said we were friends after 2 days you know them? you remember them right. well I was in a horrible mood and apparently I sounded rude to them!! isn’t that crazy? kinda didn’t expect that. it’s 11pm now but I feel like I’m on something I was so sleepy but now I feel like crying but I don’t want to cry. I’m actually so done. yeah I started crying.
my irl is on fire and I’m trying to focus on that but then cups has just been horrible for me and then they came and we got close and in the span of days this happens and I’m crying about another cups friend I’m crying about cups again I’m crying and it’s almost midnight and I haven’t gotten much sleep at all and I’m on brain activity supplements everything feels weird don’t want to do this or be here because cups has helped before but everything that’s ever made me smile on here before is now gone or far or idk I just can’t I don’t know what to do anymore I want to get as numb as I possibly could so that nothing affects me as much anymore just like before
Tw attempt, sewerslider ideation- details idk.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt it like this before, I was just sitting here typing and the whole time while I was crying I kept thinking about it I genuinely felt myself sta.bbing myself and I could picture it and feel it and I wanted to do it and I didn’t even switch out of incognito I just put my device aside and got up and I couldn’t walk but I managed to get there. I wiped my face incase my dad came out and saw me before I did get there, I opened the kitchen drawer and i started shaking worse and I fell to the floor and only when I thought I heard my dad it got to my skin but I never made it through
it’s 6am here. todays the last day of term1a and then we’ll be on a midterm break
its a week long
so 2 months in. crazy.
I’m still really sick if I could I genuinely would go to school
the weathers so grey outside today. it’s been really hot where I live all the time even after when it was supposed to start getting better but now it’s pretty calm.