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- in the wonders of my mindđ.
in the wonders of my mindđ.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnât look like međ§makes sense doesnât itđsince there can only be one *me*âšone of a kind now arent Iđ/sar. one out of 8118835999âšđ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youâre also one of a kindđ sorrysorry haha :Pđ€im just messing around xDđalso itâs 2am- but shush no snitchingđ€«Iâll sleep in a whileđwhen Iâm feeling a bit more sane :>đđ©·
wanted to have my own space.đ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.đ
to whoever's coming across :'3đplease dont lurk here.đ©· I know anyone can have access to this forum :')đbut please be respectfulđ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pđ yâall get crazy nosy haha- itâs alright.đnothing too interesting will be here anywayđif you would like to come in and be supportive itâs completely okieđbut please donât make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitđbecause Iâd still like this to be just my space ^-^đ)
I decided to get up and get the hair straightening over with cause I donât want to spend a long time on it in the morningÂ
im still missing some bits :â) Iâm so tired tho I got a chair and put it in front of the mirror like my back hurts my hands hurt my head hurts so bad my legs hurt itâs so hot the air is like suffocatingÂ
I forgot but :0 did anyone notice- my bios gone :> itâs been gone for I think over a month now? maybe in 2025 Iâll write up a new one lolÂ
@iloveyouxx (saw that- i actually check to see if uve put a new one yet xD no pressure ofc)
why does the time change every time I look at it I just looked and it was 12:28Â
sent late cause I thought I heard my dad but now itâs actually 12:29
I really really actually wanted to sleep today :â) cause Iâve been breaking out so bad and I realized that when I actually sleep and wake up itâs all gone xD cause obviously a big part of it is poor sleep and stress.Â
itâs fine tho-
ill sleep tomorrowâŠÂ
but actually the nights I was trying so hard to not sleep Iâd always alwayss end up sleeping and now I really want to sleep and I canât and now itâs too late anyway cause I wake up at 4 so whatâsâŠrounding it down- 3 hours gonna do for me. even if I wanted to I canât get 3 hours.
I donât even know when I slept somewhere aroundâŠalmost-2am? I think- or maybe past 2am idk
felt so unreal and idk disconnected this morning I just woke up and started changing but my brain wasnât- working.Â
I donât wanna :â) I donât wanna do anything-
4:45 okay bye.-
why am I still here :â) 4:46
âŠâŠâŠ..
5:32
i just finished all of my hair :3 I feel better now because then when people stare at me like crazy I wonât think that itâs because Iâm ugly- as muchđ
im just gonna rest for a couple of minutes now
maybe itâs that I forgot how tired I get but- Iâm genuinely so tired :â) like overly tired-
Iâll talk about today maybe but not right nowÂ
I fell asleep. and now itâs 8:35 I tried working on my english presentation a little or something but Iâm just gonna go sleep againÂ
since itâs really quiet and dark and everyoneâs asleep Iâm just gonna talk about some parts of my day right now :>Â
historyÂ
scienceÂ
pe
english
arabic
mathsÂ
(Iâm organizing my thoughts-)
history we had a baseline assessment. I completely forgot about that. and I swear I thought I was smart but now I realize I havenât learnt a single thing in history and I donât understand or get or remember anything and the teachers teaching and Iâm just there Iâm listening but Iâm not learning like idk. but honestly even if I did learn Iâd take the test and forget everything either way like whatâs militarism or the other like 5 main causes of ww1 idk I mean itâs better than last year with the henry the eighth stuff. um I remember- alliances- whatever that means. I know what nationalism is Iâm pretty sure- uhhhhh. we were supposed to write an essay and there were so many events and stuff and idk structure and times and people and like. I did look up some stuff, but this one kid asked if he could as a joke and maybe Iâm wrong? but Iâm pretty sure he nodded-. baseline assessments donât affect your grade and maybe he just wants to see ourâŠability to write essays ;-; I donât know if it counts as cheating of course I wasnât obvious about it like I was waiting for him to definitely not be around me any time soon and I turned my brightness low and put my device down so- maybe I know Iâm doing something wrong? Iâm talking about it like itâs someone else but idk myself i still tell myself Iâm a good person tho because-âŠI know I am :â)? somehow. but I am.Â
and okay then. the class ended. and our teacher got this guy to collect the books and our teacher was too- and I just put my bag in front of me and pretended to slowly be getting my book out so that the guy would come back to me later and then when he left I just closed my  bag and stood up and my teacher just assumed the guy took my book. I didnât cheat that well. I barely did too. and obviously my whole book is ugly and obviously he wouldâve looked through it too and I just hope he doesnât notice :â)Â
what if he does cause like he actually liked me heâs the teacher that gave me a reward point (theyâre still not called that xD itâs just got a specific name for our school) for working well that day but then if he realizes I took my book home with a baseline assessment in it or that I havenât been reaching book expectations in lessons-
âŠ..âŠI was supposed to talk about the rest of my day too TvT
1:15
shegjabeiwhsjwjk I canât find the time to talk about anything
and yes I need to. I need to give you guys life updates :> and yes you need them too. cause,âŠ*mumbles*<3
7:03
7:06
i donât wanna leave as early today because now there are people all around second floor telling you to stop doing whatever youâre doing and get to your lead class and also Iâve just been coming really really early so by the time Iâm ready to go to my lead class I check the time and itâs so early and I donât like going to my lead class early because-
Itâs just lonely :â) and itâs really chaotic and Iâm sort of just in the corner of the class and idk what to do with my face when people look at me because I donât want to look sad idk, Iâve been coming really early freaking out for a long time and going into class late and itâs better it helpsÂ
7:08
was I looking at the screen for that long- I just clicked post ;-; and like-
7:11
Iâll leave at 7:20 today :>Â
I actually wanna find the time to talk about stuff cause itâs worth talking about probably but Iâm always so sos ossso tired by the time I get homeÂ
Iâll just get these bits over with so itâs easier later
(deleted cause I had to go and now itâs 7:17- byeđ)
Iâm back :â)
okie Iâm gonna- try to talk about my day nowÂ
I might fall asleep in the middle of it but itâs okay- Iâm only trying-
bare with me :>Â
hey :D hi. I missed you guys.. xD
a couple of days ago I wrote a longggg update and it wasnât anything close to all the things thatve happened and are happening and then guess what
it got deleted.Â
but itâs fine.Â
can I talk about random stuffÂ
my dads out with his friends but he has been for a long time so he could be back soon but- itâs fine.Â
I checked my weight and height and itâs been over a year since the last time I checked my height and idk how long itâs been since the last time I checked my weight and I calculated my bmi and
im 58% average.
so basically to put it lightly Iâm on the heavier side.
I woke up with random scratch marks on my face on I think wednesdayÂ
I was staring at myself in the mirror for a long time. and then I guess my brain shut off or something but then I only just noticed and I was so confusedÂ
I donât wanna talk about school :>Â
but guess what. my guy classmates friend from our year group lives in my apartment now.Â
and he saw me cause I was waiting for the elevator and he came from like idk another side-? and he couldnât open the door and itâs see through and he was looking right at me cause I kept looking at him and looking away and then I had to speed walk and open the door and he was just watching me trying to figure it out and then he said thankyou and I said youâre welcome but- he knows me. and he saw me.
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