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in the wonders of my mind💗.

iloveyouxx March 17th

hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didn’t look like me🧐makes sense doesn’t it😛since there can only be one *me*✨one of a kind now arent I😁/sar. one out of 8118835999✨🌷can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss you’re also one of a kind💖 sorrysorry haha :P🤍im just messing around xD💞also it’s 2am- but shush no snitching🤫I’ll sleep in a while😁when I’m feeling a bit more sane :>😛🩷

wanted to have my own space.💜 for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.💙

to whoever's coming across :'3💜please dont lurk here.🩷 I know anyone can have access to this forum :')💙but please be respectful🩷.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :P💛 y’all get crazy nosy haha- it’s alright.💛nothing too interesting will be here anyway💛if you would like to come in and be supportive it’s completely okie💛but please don’t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limit💛because I’d still like this to be just my space ^-^💛)

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iloveyouxx OP May 9th

watch them become just like everyone else and do the same exact thing over and over again. way too predictable.


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5 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

awe :')💗I was just. I was just gonna cry about how lonely it was here. and just everywhere. and- well I’m not gonna rant about it🩷everyone has problems :')💗I was just. I was just gonna cry about how lonely it was here. and just everywhere. and- well I’m not gonna rant about it🩷everyone has problems :')💜thankyu for not forgetting about me hehe💕💗💓💖🐢🐾💗💓I love you🩷.

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4 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 9th

……..how’d that even- T^T💜

@iloveyouxx

Aww it is your forum diary space hehe so rant (feel free to share anything you want/need/like/have to) away.💖

Everywhere does feel a lot more quieter lately for real though. :0 

And of course, not forgetting you everrr (no really xD I mean it 💖 my memory is usually pretty good for good people and remembering kindness🧿💖) 

I love you too, Nadiabeaniee!🤗💖

*sitting with you and hugging super tight* till we try making enough sense of this moment, feeling it and letting it pass, so we create space for better, nicer, happier, less-lonelier moments too.💖

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2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

thankyu💖but everytime I talk I just feel so bad. people would have nightmares about my life-

yur so sweet thu💗thankyu💓💖

lollll nu it’s just for me. I make everyone turn the other way :') it’s crazy how I can’t even make lasting online friends🐛🐛🐛🐛and nu I’m not blaming them💜I do go quiet sumtimes. but other times just. it wasn’t me. and that hurts hehe but issokie.🩷

awwwe💗💖💓💕🩷💓(I’m still indecisive XD💜) I’m not really sure what the 🧿 emoji means :0💕but my grandma has sumthing that looks like that :0 it’s really pretty irl💖

I love yu more tho :D🩷💕🤗

*sitting with you and hugging super tight* till we try making enough sense of this moment, feeling it and letting it pass, so we create space for better, nicer, happier, less-lonelier moments too.💖

hehe those moments seem pretty fictional right now🩷maybe sumthing like the scenarios I make :3🐛🐛💕apparently making scenarios in yur head all day to escape yur reality is a mental illness? I haven’t googled it but what- :')💜

im too too negative rn :P🤍I love you- I needed to say it again.🥺💓💗💕💖

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iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Wbhsuhhyvshvsyusynvnysuvbnuhw the gif🥺🥺🥺🫠💖💖💖💓💓I luvvv penguin gifs theyre so cutuuu and 🩷💓💕🩷💗💖💜💖💕💜💓💗🥺🥺🥺🥺💗

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iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

i really missed you. I really-really missed you.

3 replies

@iloveyouxx

…me too. but i’m not a good friend. i’m sorry… that’s why i haven’t been talking to you that much, here. or in our space. because i think i probably hurt you some way :( i’m sorry. i wanted to talk to you again and apologise and try to be friends again but i thought… mmmm. overthinking got in the way. i’m sorry… 

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

:') I love you. but you did hurt me :')🩷I wish you just said anything. ni you know I can’t just stop caring I don’t work like that. it hurt so bad. gosh why am I even crying-. you remind me so much of my ex best friend. literally you remind me so much of her :') and I’d get nightmares and I’d hear things. and then you just. you’d only tag me when for example it’s like in the corner and it’s not like you can just tag eva and eyes so it felt like you were forced to say something. I stopped talking there mainly because of all this because it hurts so bad ni :') I wasn’t even that hurt at first but when I knew you got tagged and- the last time we talked was like march it hurt. It was just. so realistic- like such a basic irl friendship. I’ve never had a friendship that wasn’t horrible. my last best friend before the one that you remind me of held a knife to my face and would hit and threaten me to death if i didn’t do what she wanted. my best friend before that turned so many people against me and got them to hide from me. my best friend before that got all primary secondary and senior bullying me over some of the fakest rumors. I could go on because I’ve had so many friends before but I won’t. I don’t really feel like apologizing for all this right now :')💜you don’t see what I do and it hurts because. my life at school is just. so. horrible. you can’t even imagine it. and I’m not even gonna talk about my life at home because you probably saw the way I traumatized our friend with half my trauma. and then there’s this which I can literally categorize as a whole other life because it so feels like it. and I’ve had such horrible times here. I almost took my li.fe because of something a cups person said that was just the last thing I needed to fully be done. but it was so different with you :') I just went full dead. it’s like my sub mind keeps telling me "told you." I’m hurt because I cared and I genuinely still love you. and also because of how much it all affected me so much. o and. I noticed how you’d upvote most other peoples reply from my convos and skip my replies haha :’). I love you. I know you won’t reply🩷I don’t want it. you can but if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I love you. it genuinely has meaning tho. I can’t not love someone(yu💕)- it’s hard.💓


iloveyouxx OP May 10th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

 

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iloveyouxx OP May 9th

it doesn’t matter.

3 replies

@iloveyouxx

*hugs if okay…..?*

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 9th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

hehe the "…….?" xD hugs are okay💗💕

1 reply

@iloveyouxx

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iloveyouxx OP May 9th

I’m not even okay in any part of my life at all- 7cups still has real people- real people use this site or app. people you’d see irl. it’s not shocking-but it hurts.

iloveyouxx OP May 9th

I wish I could hug that girl. idek what to call her anymore but I don’t wanna think about that.

she used to go around and hug everyone last year.

iloveyouxx OP May 9th

…..

iloveyouxx OP May 9th

I’m not gonna cry

iloveyouxx OP May 9th

I’m already crying

 but

im gonna stop crying

i can’t stop crying.

iloveyouxx OP May 9th

I’m gonna talk about something else.