in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{no one misses having a freak around. I can’t even explain what my presence does. I can’t.} 

_{5 minutes till math.}

_{french test p rn-}

@iloveyouxx  good luck! 😊

@mytwistedsoul

💗 _{I didn’t end up doing it :P we have to do it next lesson becos we didn’t have time for everyone💜idk I guess I have more time- but everyone that did do it is so overdramatic :’) a girl said sumthing in Spanish in the speaking test-}

@iloveyouxx Omgosh - not to be mean but I had to chuckle at the thought of someone saying something in Spanish during a French test. Mainly because that would totally be something I'd end up doing 😜 

@mytwistedsoul

@mytwistedsoul

_{ouya but- french is like a side lesson :P💜what does that even mean-}

_{i didnt choose to do French but in this school you have to pick and in this situation it’s my parents have to pick and by parents I mean my dad :P🤍barely anyone’s in french thu so it’s fine🩷}

@iloveyouxx That's really nice of her to do that! I think there's a lot more pressure when you have to talk in front of the class. All those eyes 👀 it can be something you're well versed in and just being in front of a group of people makes you trip and stumble over your words! That's me lol. I hate public speaking 😅

@mytwistedsoul

_{omigosh noo I genuinely suck so much when it comes to….*standing* *infront of people* *talking* *while they all stare and judge my every move*…-}

_{I swear- my anxiety just- I get physical symptoms-}

_{*deletes paragraph becos why am I literally so talkative today it’s like I can’t stop yapping-🐛🐛🐛💜*}

_{I hate it too😭🩷the teacher is nice :3💕but everyone hates her.💙when they say stuff about her I just laugh at the laughs :P💜not at the joke- why’re sum people’s laughs so funny-}

@mytwistedsoul

_{whys sum text smaller than the other😭}

_{also…..;-;…mhms* not moms-}

_..TvT💖

@iloveyouxx The funny thing is everybody wants to tell you that other people really aren't paying that much attention to you. I don't believe that lol. I'm standing in front of everyone and I'm supposed to believe they're not paying attention to me 😅

_{too much happened today.}

_{omigod- TW* sorry.-}

_sorry-

…..

_{I wanna say sorry again but would that be annoying-?-}

_{none of my names are there. it’s so unclear fsr but my friends mentioned there and i swear I’m bringing that to head of year-}

_{It’s the same girl that got threatened to death.}

_{I feel so bad for her-}

every time I talk to her we have to whisper. every time we wanna go to break we can’t sit down because she’s always scared they’re following her 

_{one of them is the girl that called me uneducated. the one that got a 4- cheating with chatgpt☠️I got a 9+. -}

_{she doesn’t even hurt me. I don’t have a codename for her because I literally don’t know how to make one she’s so indescribable.}

_{"I hate fat people. they just don’t know limits"}

_{"…? why do you care if he’s gonna commit suic.ide…??"}

_{"I swear I can mind read- I watched a youtube tutorial"}

_{honestly I don’t care about anyone’s beliefs. I don’t believe them I don’t judge them I don’t think about them I literally just don’t care. I don’t care what you believe in- it doesn’t matter to me.} 

_{but her mind reading was staring at me for a couple of seconds- then screaming and saying I have a crush on this guy I forgot existed-.}

_{she said it "only works when there’re strong emotions like love"} 

_{oh yeah. and then she said "don’t worryyy (my name-) it’s only gonna be between you and me(*she winked here which what-*) and the friends I’m gonna tell(*winks again-*)"}

I’m so scared.

_5am．

@iloveyouxx Don't you sleep much? 

@mytwistedsoul

_{lolll- nu I don’t. at all :>🤍it’s 7am now and I’m leaving for school soon but why?💜}

@iloveyouxx Is there a reason you don't? If it's ok to ask of course. There's no pressure to answer :)

@mytwistedsoul

_{at school-}

_{mm yus I mean.. life’s way too much to just- sleep :')🤍I’m not just gonna close my eyes and be all calm or anything and I just can’t.🤍also every time I do sleep I get horrible nightmares or I sleep too much- too much being 4hours (or less-🤍)since I would’ve already slept late-}

_{we have to work on this project brb :P💜ttyl friend🩷}

@iloveyouxx Nightmares are hard 😞 I'm sorry you have to deal with those. I hope you can one day work through them and can get better sleep. 

@mytwistedsoul

💜

@iloveyouxx SLC stands for student led conferences/ committee? I've heard of them but have never been part of one. It must have been strange to see yourself so confident. Did something happen that caused you to lose that? Or has anxiety just been getting worse as time went on?

_{shadows in-}

_{idk why I’m so mad.}

_{I can’t breathe-}

_{why were they clapping what- :’)}

_{it was embarrassing but sweet-}

_{I definitely failed tho-}

_{last 10minutes are free🐛🐛🐛🐛}

_{I actually don’t suck rn. I just can’t say anything negative cos then I’d start crying again-}