in the wonders of my mindš.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnāt look like meš§makes sense doesnāt itšsince there can only be one *me*āØone of a kind now arent Iš/sar. one out of 8118835999āØš·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youāre also one of a kindš sorrysorry haha :Pš¤im just messing around xDšalso itās 2am- but shush no snitchingš¤«Iāll sleep in a whilešwhen Iām feeling a bit more sane :>šš©·
wanted to have my own space.š for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.š
to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šplease dont lurk here.š©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šbut please be respectfulš©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pš yāall get crazy nosy haha- itās alright.šnothing too interesting will be here anywayšif you would like to come in and be supportive itās completely okiešbut please donāt make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšbecause Iād still like this to be just my space ^-^š)
so our english teacher had to tell us to be nice and welcoming. no oneās doing that- they said it themselves.Ā
I donāt know him yet. heās been suspended and when heās back heād be in our class. I just know him by description. according to some girls in my science class heās short "fat"? and his haircuts "ugly" but idk why this is what people remember. but he also fights with every teacher and a lot of different people gave me examples which just makes it so scary how he doesnāt give up-
he was friends with this person in my Islamic class that asked me why I was so ugly.Ā
itās not like Iām sad about it. I donāt like being unrealistic. Iām not pretty but Iām not ugly- plus his whole account is him being insecure itās pretty obv? he calls every girl ugly and he makes this voice- heās basically that "class clown" just a lot fake dumber.
they all just did that fake laugh they do. hilarious-Ā
:ā)
that same guy also told me I looked like Iāve been in a fire and that I looked like a hamster-? I donāt see the resemblance Iām okay-
the hamster thing was when my anorexia was really bad. and my bones popped out so everyone knew I was severely underweight. he just wanted to take the perfect moment to target someone and their insecurities.
@iloveyouxxĀ
*leaves you some comfy hugs and cookies here for when you come back*Ā
(no need to respond, it can just.. be here. š©·)
@justmeeva
just. donāt bother. Iām sorry.Ā
@iloveyouxxĀ
okay, i can stop. but i wonāt stop caring. š©· you can always tag me if you want to, okay? and if you donāt, i understand š©·
@justmeeva
:') I meant donāt bother pretending to care.
Ā *deletes paragraphs*
weather I wanted to or not you know I wonāt. you also know you literally cannot put up with me right now. Ā <3
Iām making you give up on me :ā) Iām not worth it. or anything.Ā
@iloveyouxxĀ
donāt read it if you feel like it might make the situation or your feeling worse, i mean it.Ā
but.
nadia i donāt fake my care. i never have. i donāt see a point in it. and i know what it feels like. i have way too much experience with fake care and fake friends, people who only choose to be nice when they need something from you. it really hurts. i donāt have the heart to put someone else, let alone a friend, through that pain. but i understand if you donāt believe me. i understand that youāre hurt. i donāt relate, but i understand. i can give you space, i can leave you alone if thatās what you want. but iāll still say, iām here. you can use it, you can not. your choice. but you have that option. you donāt have to be alone. you can, but you donāt have to.Ā
@justmeeva
I mean :P no one ever listens to those-there coulda been like a cw- being like Iām gonna basically say something like this :P but issokayš©·
..
i feel like anything I say would just be taken the wrong way nowš¤
im sorry about your fake friends :ā) they really do suckš©·a whole other level of suck- if I personally knew who hurt you I swear Iād :P make them regret it :Pš©·people target the kindest souls like why- you had a lot to offer and they just had to use you for that :Pš©·Iām sorryš©·
being alone isnāt a choice or an option to me. please donāt assume itš¤that whole part just. you really donāt understand evaš©·I love you but you really dont :ā)š©·
you kind of remind me of my old counselor.š¤not in an offensive way I guess just the wording.š
. I donāt. want- to be alone. :ā)Ā
maybe Iām just reading this the wrong way. or in a different tone. if you want to end the convo now you canš©·itās okay. but no itās not what I want.šI donāt want to be alone- or to have space- if you give me space thatād be the last time youād talk to me. I donāt want to be left alone. or to think like this. I know youāre a good persunšIām not denying thatšmy eyes hurt so Iām gonna be off for a while. not permanently just. when Iām let go. Iāll be back soon tho if you still want to replyš©·
