in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{I’ve seen him. but I didn’t know that was his name.}

_{surprisingly no one in our class even likes him-? it’s just that they don’t care who you are as long as you’re not me. and that other guy is basically the same but people think it’s funny.}

_{so our english teacher had to tell us to be nice and welcoming. no one’s doing that- they said it themselves.} 

_{I don’t know him yet. he’s been suspended and when he’s back he’d be in our class. I just know him by description. according to some girls in my science class he’s short "fat"? and his haircuts "ugly" but idk why this is what people remember. but he also fights with every teacher and a lot of different people gave me examples which just makes it so scary how he doesn’t give up-}

kinda hope he’d shift the attention on him. he seems to do that a lot honestly.

he was friends with this person in my Islamic class that asked me why I was so ugly. 

it’s not like I’m sad about it. I don’t like being unrealistic. I’m not pretty but I’m not ugly- plus his whole account is him being insecure it’s pretty obv? he calls every girl ugly and he makes this voice- he’s basically that "class clown" just a lot fake dumber.

they all just did that fake laugh they do. hilarious- 

:’)

_{that same guy also told me I looked like I’ve been in a fire and that I looked like a hamster-? I don’t see the resemblance I’m okay-}

_{the hamster thing was when my anorexia was really bad. and my bones popped out so everyone knew I was severely underweight. he just wanted to take the perfect moment to target someone and their insecurities.}

_{dads back- won’t be on till after school.}

_nevermind. 

_{wont be back.}

@iloveyouxx 

*leaves you some comfy hugs and cookies here for when you come back* 

(no need to respond, it can just.. be here. 🩷)

@justmeeva

_{just. don’t bother. I’m sorry.} 

@iloveyouxx 

okay, i can stop. but i won’t stop caring. 🩷 you can always tag me if you want to, okay? and if you don’t, i understand 🩷

@justmeeva

_{:') I meant don’t bother pretending to care.}

 _{*deletes paragraphs*}

_{weather I wanted to or not you know I won’t. you also know you literally cannot put up with me right now.  <3}

_{I’m making you give up on me :’) I’m not worth it. or anything.} 

@iloveyouxx 

don’t read it if you feel like it might make the situation or your feeling worse, i mean it. 

but.

nadia i don’t fake my care. i never have. i don’t see a point in it. and i know what it feels like. i have way too much experience with fake care and fake friends, people who only choose to be nice when they need something from you. it really hurts. i don’t have the heart to put someone else, let alone a friend, through that pain. but i understand if you don’t believe me. i understand that you’re hurt. i don’t relate, but i understand. i can give you space, i can leave you alone if that’s what you want. but i’ll still say, i’m here. you can use it, you can not. your choice. but you have that option. you don’t have to be alone. you can, but you don’t have to. 

@justmeeva

_{I mean :P no one ever listens to those-there coulda been like a cw- being like I’m gonna basically say something like this :P but issokay🩷}

_..

_{i feel like anything I say would just be taken the wrong way now🤍}

_{im sorry about your fake friends :’) they really do suck🩷a whole other level of suck- if I personally knew who hurt you I swear I’d :P make them regret it :P🩷people target the kindest souls like why- you had a lot to offer and they just had to use you for that :P🩷I’m sorry🩷}

_{being alone isn’t a choice or an option to me. please don’t assume it🤍that whole part just. you really don’t understand eva🩷I love you but you really dont :’)🩷}

_{you kind of remind me of my old counselor.🤍not in an offensive way I guess just the wording.💜}

_{. I don’t. want- to be alone. :’)} 

_{maybe I’m just reading this the wrong way. or in a different tone. if you want to end the convo now you can🩷it’s okay. but no it’s not what I want.💜I don’t want to be alone- or to have space- if you give me space that’d be the last time you’d talk to me. I don’t want to be left alone. or to think like this. I know you’re a good persun💗I’m not denying that💕my eyes hurt so I’m gonna be off for a while. not permanently just. when I’m let go. I’ll be back soon tho if you still want to reply🩷}

@iloveyouxx 

i’m sorry. 

@justmeeva

whyre you apologizing >:🩷nu please dont🩷you don’t have a reasun to be sorry💕💕it’s okay💗

_{murder scene.} 

_{"how predictable".}

everydays. so..

predictable.

_{a twisted game.}

_{everyone’s always fighting.}

I overheard that one group in my class. 

_{they’re planning to jump that helpless girl in my year group. shes not any different- just involved in a ton of stuff and lost a bunch of people.} 

_{I’m too tired for this rn.} 

_{"if you ever come close to us again i swear to god on allah I’ll *** ki.ll you"}

_{not to me.} 

_{but is that really the main pin anyway.}

_{I can’t.}

_8am.

_{"you look beautiful when you smile".}

_{oh my god.}

_{idk what the point of it is. when people do that-} 

_{but it’s just all so much wrong intentions.} 

people actually go through stuff. 

_{they’re not proving anything. all the attention seeking. Idek how you’d want the pity}

_{and then there’re people that do go through stuff. but then say stuff like..}

_{I cant word it.}

_{not even mad at the stereotypes. it’s so disgusting.}

_{some people have a right to beleive a suicidal can turn into a homicidal.} 

_{It’s not. funny.}

_{basically saying and talking about wants to violently attack or harm someone. especially- someone like that.} 

_{you know everyone’s watching so better put on a show.-}