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in the wonders of my mindšŸ’—.

iloveyouxx March 17th

hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnā€™t look like mešŸ§makes sense doesnā€™t itšŸ˜›since there can only be one *me*āœØone of a kind now arent IšŸ˜/sar. one out of 8118835999āœØšŸŒ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youā€™re also one of a kindšŸ’– sorrysorry haha :PšŸ¤im just messing around xDšŸ’žalso itā€™s 2am- but shush no snitchingšŸ¤«Iā€™ll sleep in a whilešŸ˜when Iā€™m feeling a bit more sane :>šŸ˜›šŸ©·

wanted to have my own space.šŸ’œ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.šŸ’™

to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šŸ’œplease dont lurk here.šŸ©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šŸ’™but please be respectfulšŸ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :PšŸ’› yā€™all get crazy nosy haha- itā€™s alright.šŸ’›nothing too interesting will be here anywayšŸ’›if you would like to come in and be supportive itā€™s completely okiešŸ’›but please donā€™t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšŸ’›because Iā€™d still like this to be just my space ^-^šŸ’›)

peach-and-goma.gif

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iloveyouxx OP April 25th

so our english teacher had to tell us to be nice and welcoming. no oneā€™s doing that- they said it themselves.Ā 

I donā€™t know him yet. heā€™s been suspended and when heā€™s back heā€™d be in our class. I just know him by description. according to some girls in my science class heā€™s short "fat"? and his haircuts "ugly" but idk why this is what people remember. but he also fights with every teacher and a lot of different people gave me examples which just makes it so scary how he doesnā€™t give up-

iloveyouxx OP April 25th

kinda hope heā€™d shift the attention on him. he seems to do that a lot honestly.

iloveyouxx OP April 25th

he was friends with this person in my Islamic class that asked me why I was so ugly.Ā 

itā€™s not like Iā€™m sad about it. I donā€™t like being unrealistic. Iā€™m not pretty but Iā€™m not ugly- plus his whole account is him being insecure itā€™s pretty obv? he calls every girl ugly and he makes this voice- heā€™s basically that "class clown" just a lot fake dumber.

they all just did that fake laugh they do. hilarious-Ā 

:ā€™)

iloveyouxx OP April 25th

that same guy also told me I looked like Iā€™ve been in a fire and that I looked like a hamster-? I donā€™t see the resemblance Iā€™m okay-

iloveyouxx OP April 25th

the hamster thing was when my anorexia was really bad. and my bones popped out so everyone knew I was severely underweight. he just wanted to take the perfect moment to target someone and their insecurities.

iloveyouxx OP April 25th

dads back- wonā€™t be on till after school.

iloveyouxx OP April 26th

nevermind.Ā 


wont be back.

justmeeva April 26th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

*leaves you some comfy hugs and cookies here for when you come back*Ā 

(no need to respond, it can just.. be here. šŸ©·)

7 replies
iloveyouxx OP April 27th

@justmeeva

just. donā€™t bother. Iā€™m sorry.Ā 

6 replies
justmeeva April 27th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

okay, i can stop. but i wonā€™t stop caring. šŸ©· you can always tag me if you want to, okay? and if you donā€™t, i understand šŸ©·

5 replies
iloveyouxx OP April 27th

@justmeeva

:') I meant donā€™t bother pretending to care.

Ā *deletes paragraphs*

weather I wanted to or not you know I wonā€™t. you also know you literally cannot put up with me right now. Ā <3

Iā€™m making you give up on me :ā€™) Iā€™m not worth it. or anything.Ā 

4 replies
justmeeva April 27th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

donā€™t read it if you feel like it might make the situation or your feeling worse, i mean it.Ā 

but.

nadia i donā€™t fake my care. i never have. i donā€™t see a point in it. and i know what it feels like. i have way too much experience with fake care and fake friends, people who only choose to be nice when they need something from you. it really hurts. i donā€™t have the heart to put someone else, let alone a friend, through that pain. but i understand if you donā€™t believe me. i understand that youā€™re hurt. i donā€™t relate, but i understand. i can give you space, i can leave you alone if thatā€™s what you want. but iā€™ll still say, iā€™m here. you can use it, you can not. your choice. but you have that option. you donā€™t have to be alone. you can, but you donā€™t have to.Ā 

3 replies
iloveyouxx OP April 27th

@justmeeva

I mean :P no one ever listens to those-there coulda been like a cw- being like Iā€™m gonna basically say something like this :P but issokayšŸ©·

..

i feel like anything I say would just be taken the wrong way nowšŸ¤

im sorry about your fake friends :ā€™) they really do suckšŸ©·a whole other level of suck- if I personally knew who hurt you I swear Iā€™d :P make them regret it :PšŸ©·people target the kindest souls like why- you had a lot to offer and they just had to use you for that :PšŸ©·Iā€™m sorryšŸ©·

being alone isnā€™t a choice or an option to me. please donā€™t assume itšŸ¤that whole part just. you really donā€™t understand evašŸ©·I love you but you really dont :ā€™)šŸ©·

you kind of remind me of my old counselor.šŸ¤not in an offensive way I guess just the wording.šŸ’œ

. I donā€™t. want- to be alone. :ā€™)Ā 

maybe Iā€™m just reading this the wrong way. or in a different tone. if you want to end the convo now you canšŸ©·itā€™s okay. but no itā€™s not what I want.šŸ’œI donā€™t want to be alone- or to have space- if you give me space thatā€™d be the last time youā€™d talk to me. I donā€™t want to be left alone. or to think like this. I know youā€™re a good persunšŸ’—Iā€™m not denying thatšŸ’•my eyes hurt so Iā€™m gonna be off for a while. not permanently just. when Iā€™m let go. Iā€™ll be back soon tho if you still want to replyšŸ©·

2 replies
justmeeva April 28th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

iā€™m sorry.Ā 

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP April 29th

@justmeeva

whyre you apologizing >:šŸ©·nu please dontšŸ©·you donā€™t have a reasun to be sorryšŸ’•šŸ’•itā€™s okayšŸ’—

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iloveyouxx OP April 30th

murder scene.Ā 

iloveyouxx OP April 30th

"how predictable".