in the wonders of my mind💗.

I was best friends with someone with really serious mental problems that planned to off me. 

they had a pocket knife and a spare too. they’ve gotten poison to school before. and they’d always say the freakiest things.

we were eleven :') not even eleven- ten. she was ten.

she went to therapy. except no she didn’t. her mom did to ask what medicine to get for her and she’d stand outside. it made me so mad..

then they’d get her medicine for sleeping problems…

she was caught in an english class holding out her knife and everyone surrounded her.

I’ve seen people hold a knife up to my face and threaten me to death.

one time I told that girl I preferred working alone. nothing big and I said it really kindly. I just wasn’t feeling the best.

she pulled out her knife and said "you’re either here working with me *evil grin lmao* or….youre in ***"

yeah. knew it’d censor.

I’ve seen rapists. 

I used to live in a place where wherever you’d go- and being literal- wherever you’d go- there’d be a bunch of old guys smoking cigarettes at the side of the road- and they’d look you up and down and either whistle or do that thing where they’d drag their tongue on their teeth..some disgusting ***..

I’ve lived in that place since I was four- and moved when I was eleven/twelve

I moved to this place labeled as "one of the safest places in the world" online-

I told one persun about the gun I found. the gun my dad owned. 

they said they don’t believe me. becos "why would a gun be in one of the safest places in the whole world"

mm yeah I wonder why. :')

maybe it was the safest before we moved.

the crime rates are honestly pretty low..

I love how the most common crime in my country is rape 

I love how 98% of women in my country had experienced SA and only 12% had reported it.

..

guys in my country are freaky..

someone thought I was a celebrity one time :P

I genuinely thought they were kidding at first. but like they were being serious :') it was 2 guys- ended up fighting cos of me :P 

fighting over a signature and also cos one of them said they watched my show and loved it and they also said they were from the same place then the second guy pushed him and said no he didn’t and yeah :P 

my brother just pulled me out of there :') and those 2 guys stared at me till I was out of sight…

I found a new depressing artist :0🖤

aw love her already. :P I like depressing things🖤

I had to go. I just watched the last part of my favorite series :')

a new part of the series would get released everyday right at sunset

I have too much going on in my mind rn- :')

*peeks and leaves a warm, gentle huggie wuggie for nadsey beanie* 🥺 (nadsey friend, me peeked and saw your reply in the corner, me will reply when me can 💜 so me brought my pass with me :P me hopes it okie to leave a warm huggie for you. me believes you deserve hugs 🥺) 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

awwwee🥺💜

(take your time loveliestnibeanie💕yus good now you officially vv welcome to be in this forum anytime for any reason xD💓it’s vv okies💜*gives back a v much well deserved comfy huggiewuggie for the loveliest niibeannn*🥺💖)

@iloveyouxx

*huggles loveliestnadiabeanie and doesn’t let go* 🥺💜 

nadsies… does you ever have that feeling… you feel the need to huggie a cups friend vvv tight - like a real huggie, not just a virtual one? People are so freaking sweet sometimes it amazes me that people so sweet can exist. It amazes me someone as sweet as nadia friend exists 🥺😭 Usually, I just take my pillow friend and huggie it and imagine it’s my cups friend lol. (Yep, my pillow is my friend, it has a name too… just like my blankie and my other pillows.) 

*Sends 50000000000000000000000 vvv big huggies for Nadia friend* 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers

awwwe nu I do have that feeling🩷it amazes me how someone as sweet as nibeann exists🥺💜

I remember being a newbie- you were one of the first people I talked to <3 I remember you having that kind of outline of a kittie pfp :3 and you said I could call you moon/flowers but that some people call you ni💕you were always so sweet frend💓idk how I still do- but I remember every bit of that convo :PP🤍I was a weird newbie xD💙but you were always so kind and supportive💜

awwwee whys that so cute🌈💖I’d totally name things in my room if they didn’t scare me at night loll T^T🤍I have a penguin stuffie kinda thing and it stares at me all like👁️👄👁️

I turn it the other way but like😭

what’s their names hehe :3🛌💗/nfta

*sends 121452627289918384764435262728191091827265343434353646655654121213324242443535466474858595905 vvvvvv big huggies for nifren*💜😛

@iloveyouxx

Omg. That’s so cute lol. somehow i don’t remember this conversation, i remember i probably told you something like that, yep because that’s pretty much what i tell everyone when they ask what my name is/ what I’d like to be called 😅 it’s so sweet of you to remember that entire conversation though. 🥺💜 And any kindness you received then, any kindness you receive now, buddy, I promise you deserve it. <3 

Awwe I don’t think you were weird at all. You were so sweet, always, such a kind presence in the rooms and in the forums. <3 even when your having a hard time yourself… at home, at school, in your life… 😞 When life is being horribly mean to you and things are hard, you never fail to make your friends smile and feel so warm. 💜 Your the best *you.* 💜 I don’t think your weird…. That is, unless weird means something absolutely amazing and beautiful. <3 one of our friends said weird is elite, remember? :P /lh 

Awwe. Dw friend your not alone i see things in the dark too :') all the time, every night… which is why I always create a little space with my duvet. I hideyy under my duvet with something to fiddle with 😅 and imagine there’s some monster peering down at me from outside my little tent 😭😭 I genuinely can’t help it it just happens 😭😭 

good thing you can turn around the penguin. I have a little emoji plushie thing. It’s this face 😉 but some of the winky eye is messed up and it looks w e i r d but not like nice-weird. It kinda freaks me out. 

Awwe they’re weird names lol 😭 Cloudash is one of them 🤪 and my blankies name is Moon, in my native language 😮💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

_{nuh uhh T^T I was v weird TvT🤍and a weird presence too😭omg do you remember when I’d keep putting “: )” since without space it’d turn to emoji😭I could’ve went (: but no😭also when I said when someone asked what I wanted to be when I was older- I said- uh😭yk TvT I was such a negative and annoying presence to be around T^T🤍I literally told someone my school life was harder TvT and I vented a bunch of times T^T like dud I’m sorry but literally no one cares T^T/to me.🤍I had some really bad experiences thu :P reallyreally bad..🤍you know I still remember that thing where I said I had trauma and you and a couple of others started saying everyone has trauma :') it’s nothing big but I guess it just idk.🤍 made me realize it didn’t really matter. *i* didn’t really matter :')🤍also one time I said I was having a reallyreally hard day and someone said everyone has hard days- another time someone in rainbow room sent a.."inappropriate" photo :P he said it was a doggie pic- I opened it and flashbacked and panicked- everyone started telling him it wasn’t cos of him and it wasn’t his fault tho he was literally fine :')🤍I ended up at the hospital till the next day :3🤍and I for sure lost count of all the guys that tried to be inappropriate on here towards me :')🤍}

that was unnecessary :D💜but I feel like I just had to go through a decent amount of stuff to stop being that persun I was :'3💙

ee D: that sounds freaky D: I have a panda plushie hehe :3🐼🩷it’s actually really cutu- if I can I’ll show you a photo at some point :0💜

cloudash xD☁️✨I loves that😛ooo :0🩷moon🖤I don’t think these are weird at alls frend :o💜

sorry for replying late- my grandma needed help🩷is it just me or like aren’t old people so cute🥺💜yeah it’s just me :')💙but like they’re not baby-cute or kittie-cute. they’re more- innocent and clueless and soso sweeetttt and kindhearted and loving and innocent again lol🥺and that makes them cute to me💜at least the ones I knuw💕💕

I liked that series. when I watched it everything else around me would just…leave my mind.

for just 40minutes to an hour I’d forget it all- everything.

^{mm someone get this audio outta my head :')}