it was nice having you watch me burn in a fire that kept roaring, that burned my very heart and soul yet it seems to have destroyed your own pride and self respect.

Yk what.. *** this.. I might as well just give up not using these drugs.. 

@amiableBunny4016 Bunny? It only makes the pain disappear for a while 💙

@mytwistedsoul

at least for a while, i wont feel like ***. 

he just numbed me with it.... and then beat me. 

it doesnt even make sense.

is anyone here?

i cant sleep 

@amiableBunny4016

*sends warm hugs if okay* 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs*

@amiableBunny4016

😞 i wish i could make life better bunny. i’m sorry. 

im sorry life is so cruel, and unfair and ***. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

he beat me. like badly. today. this is the worst he has acted in a while. 

@amiableBunny4016

☹️ *hugs you so so so tight* i wish they were real hugs. 😞 but i’m far away. i love you, bunny, and i care about you. you mean more to me than you know. :') i’m so sorry he beat you lovely, i’m so sorry this is happening……. that everything happened. i’m sorry. but i know my words, they are, really, just words. they can’t grow wings and arms and go stop that abusive man and freaking teach him a lesson. i wish they could grow wings and arms….. but they are just words. :') 

i just *** wish i could *** do something. 😞💙 

sending you the biggest hugs i’ve got ☹️💙

my body hurts.

It hurts. It really hurts. It hurts. please stop. It's hurting. 

anyone here?

@amiableBunny4016 Sorry I missed you Little Bunny 💙 

@mytwistedsoul

its fine.... 💙

TW/shooting.

a book has never made me cry so much in my entire life 😭 (I am NOT talking about the hunger games)

i literally started reading it 3 days ago. and i spent last night trying to finish off the last 20 percent 😭

i am never gonna recover with the ending being the main character being shot with a bullet. Just nO!

why does the authors note have to talk about children and love. 😃

"Children long to be loved, but at the same time they give the most love" 

"I have come to think that love is what makes a person human, as well as what makes a monster. That's the story I wanted to tell" 

T-T and here is me. a traumatised kid who cant get her life together.

TW/abuse

does using duct tape for nights help keep me silent during beating me? 

i kept silent every time. Even without the tape. Yet.... it seems like i'm indirectly being killed. 

just imagine.... the person who gave birth to me, will have to see my body burried into the ground one day. hide my face in the dirt. and never see my face again...one day it will happend. 

but who will go first? her or me?

""Hope" is the thing with feathers- 

That perches in the soul-

And sings the tune without words-

And never stops -  at all" - Emily Dickinson

.... 

I feel sleepy, but every time I try to sleep, every time i close my eyes, every time i try to relax or ground myself, she is there. She is there in my dreams, hiding behind my sorrows, I smile as I drown in the trauma of everlasting abuse. She is there everywhere I go. 

My mother. 

@amiableBunny4016 😞 

my bio definetly doesnt sound like a robot 🤭

@amiableBunny4016

😞💙

when you write 1496 words of a book your dream was to write.... and then realise that its just a. piece of junk that no one will read

@amiableBunny4016

Aww I don’t think so Bunny bean ☹️💙 I remember you shared a bit of your book in rooms once and a lot of people loved that bit and wanted to read more 💙

@LoveMyMoonflowers

oh.... well that draft i had sent has been completely changed Ni 😀

what could possibily go wrong deleting 1496 words of a book i wrote and thrashing my work....

@amiableBunny4016 Oh no 😬 please tell me it wasn't deleted

@mytwistedsoul

its not deleted yet. but its a project i've been weeping over for the past few months yet it makes my head hurt because my perfectionism doesnt let me move on.

@amiableBunny4016

Perfectionism is hard to deal with ): but 1496 words 💙 you’ve gotten this far, Ni friend believes in you Bunny friend and i believe you can do it 💙 what’s the word count your aiming for? :o 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers

Ni you wont be surprised.... but i dont have a word count aim 😄 im just going with what life's words gets me to write. but i think if i am actually going to write it, i would be looking at a little over 68,000-70,000 words or more 😀 but as you can see.... bunny has made little to no progress.

@amiableBunny4016

*hugs if okay and sends motivational beams to Bunny* 💙 i think i get the perfectionism though :/ when we write it’s like… we feel every word, everything has to be perfect in the first draft 😭 and so that perfectionism sort of becomes a huge boulder getting in the way and it’s hard to go further :/ Has Bunny perhaps found any books about writing/tips for writing books? Idk. 💙 

I still think that you shouldn’t delete it :') that’s your decision of course and i’m not going to pressure you 💜 i just think….. you may feel like deleting it today but in the future you might be like… oh i shouldn’t have deleted it. :') Idk 💜 idk anything about anything lol so don’t take me too seriously 😅 

@LoveMyMoonflowers @mytwistedsoul

oh well.... it will work out eventually. im not going to delete it tho, i might regret it if i do. but here is a sneek peek into a little paragraph that im proud of lol. the thing thats been coloured out is a name of a chracter which i refuse to reveal because im stubborn. 

@amiableBunny4016

aww that’s okay if your not comfy revealing the characters name, that’s okay friend 💜

I love the description of the moon’s glow through the window 💜 the entire paragraph seems to have… Idk, a quiet feeling 💜 it feels quiet and calm. I love your choice of words Bunny 💜

*meanwhile my curiosity is piqued…… my brain asking questions like who’s the woman she speaks of etc* 💜 (No pressure to share any more 💜 but Ni friend just saying my curiosity has been piqued hehe)