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Tree's Diary

loyalTree3713 September 11th, 2020

I don't know if I'll ever write here, I just felt the need to have a space where I could express myself. Respectful comments are welcome, but sometimes my life gets hectic (all the time haha)-so, I may be delayed in my response.

Maybe the best way to sum up how I feel is that-When I don't have an empty space, I badly want one. But when I do get it, I no longer feel the need for it. However, in these challenging times (not referring to the pandemic), maybe I'll end up feeling something I'll want to write.

Shoutout to the people who recognized the need for a journal subcom, after the feed was discontinued Slightly smiling And a thank you to every one who ends up scrolling by here xD

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loyalTree3713 OP July 11th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

Nah, that's totally ok! I think I understand that feeling a bit (feeling like you shouldn't have said as much as you did), but I'm also sure that my understanding of that is limited :)

How is your ankle??

2 replies
mytwistedsoul July 12th, 2022

@loyalTree3713 You're exactly right! That is exactly the feeling. Thank you for understanding :)

The ankle is better but aches most days. Thank you for asking! How are you these days Tree?

2 replies
loyalTree3713 OP July 15th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

:) ofc!!

ah, a persistent ankle ache sounds difficult to deal with -- is the pain getting less intense/more bearable over time?

(I'm doing alright. I'm kinda excited because I'm getting to travel a bit over the next few days. So, my mood's been really good!)

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loyalTree3713 OP July 11th, 2022
*no replies please*

Feeling super alone again. I've been manifesting a very shallow form of myself for the past week. I've been trying to act carefree, do stupid little things (that I'd otherwise feel inhibited to do) with people and it was good while it lasted. I managed social stuff but I'm back to feeling lonely again. I'm confused.

I was telling a friend "I know that, logically, I have friends but it never feels that way inside" and I just keep looking back to me from 8 years ago, wondering what changed. Have I always felt this way?

I know that when I wake up tomorrow, these thoughts will disappear. When I write this down, these thoughts will disappear. But they will return and... I wish I knew what they meant. I don't wish that they'd go away, I just wish they made sense to me.
loyalTree3713 OP August 3rd, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

Heyy! I'm doing alright. Actually pretty good today! I did much better at something than I thought I would, and I'm in a dazed state of "wow, I have skills?" xD

How are you keeping?

1 reply
mytwistedsoul August 3rd, 2022

@loyalTree3713 Hey! I'm glad to hear that you're doing all right and it sounds like an awesome day. I have to admit I loled alittle because that happens to me sometimes. That wonderful surprise of oh wow it worked! That's so cool Tree :) it does leave a person dazed but it's really exciting too!

You gots da skillz! :)

I'm keeping lol - hoping to lose the cast in another couple of weeks. Thank god because I am so over this doggone thing lol

1 reply
loyalTree3713 OP August 6th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

thanks so much! haha yeah, it's an absolutely brilliant feeling -- like how you would feel if you received a tiny surprise gift from yourself xD

ooo, it's wonderful to hear that you won't need the cast for your ankle soon!! Gosh, it's nearly been a month since you first had to wear it, right?

1 reply
mytwistedsoul August 10th, 2022

@loyalTree3713 It's closer to two months now :/ I was hoping to get It off sooner but they said the ligaments need alittle longer to heal - ugh

I hope you have more of those surprise gift moments like that Tree ❤️

I hope this week is going good for you

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loyalTree3713 OP August 12th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

wow, that's a looooong time, I can see why you'd want it off soon. Though it sounds like, this way, your ligaments would have properly healed and I'm sooo happy to hear that<3

(thank you!!)

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loyalTree3713 OP August 25th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

Hiiii, how is your ankle now?? And how are you keeping?<3

(You're in my thoughts.)

3 replies
mytwistedsoul August 25th, 2022

@loyalTree3713 Hey you :) Cast comes off next week! Woo hoo! I am so excited! lol

I'm sorry - I meant to reply - I wanted to but I didn't want to be a pain in the butt - anxiety got to me 😬

How are you Tree? It's nice seeing you again ❤️

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loyalTree3713 OP August 27th, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

(Re: cast) yusssssssss, i'm so excited for you!!! That's just 5 days more lezgoooo~

(Re:anxiety) ahaha, that's okay :) I've been there a few (or more) times myself.

I'm doing surprisingly alright, it feels like things are stable in my life for the first time in quite a while.

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mytwistedsoul August 28th, 2022

@loyalTree3713 Hey that's great Tree! I'm so glad to hear that things are stable. I hope it stays that way. Go you! ❤️ Many good things are waiting for you!

My first thought was to do a happy dance after its off but then I realized that's probably a bad idea lol and it'll probably be pretty stiff. Sooo - I think the happy dance will have to wait :p

1 reply
loyalTree3713 OP August 31st, 2022

@mytwistedsoul

thank youu!!!

ahaha yes, maybe the happy dance can wait a bit :p

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