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THETAJFTOJS II
Sigiendo desde aqui 5 of 5: The hypothetical equivalent to a journal from the old journal section - 7 Cups Forum
It is a weird thing when something goes bunk on my 'Archiver0' account, wherein I can access the listener account I tried making once which I thought long deleted but not the member account which I've been using for a while now but can enter through this rrreally old account, reactivate and continue my 7cups presence from here.
=~= All this b/c of how iffy the account deletion processes are and how this site seems to have an issue if you attach a previously used email to a new identity on here ?.
I've said before how gracious I am for my apartment but I've yet to say how gracious I am for not being a next door neighbor to whomever's apartment is above me and from which bizarre and jarring sounds abound.
It s--ks to be stuck indoors on a preciously lit and heated day due to dog-sitting for a creature which doesn't really like walking to much when the weather is way more advantageous than winter.
The concept of boredom as stress applies.
Posting on here has gotten so unreliable lately (maybe due to the web design overhaul ?),I'm seriously considering doing such online journaling elsewhere.
Super frustrated and on the way to an acupuncture appointment in a bad mood; trying not to post on here.
Bunk laptop problem persists and might still persist after check up for it tomorrow. Stupidity which is so much f--g traffic on a mundane Tuesday afternoon coming south to north or west to east (out of the less Hamilton-centric regions including Burlington and Toronto).
Stupidity which is how remotely spaced apart public bikes are until you in the western neighborhood again. Stupidity is how the mere elevations between the mall and Dundurn are off-putting if you can't aptly bike through those kinds of ups and downs with so limited biking methods no less.
Stupidity the stronger word to inconvenience or frustration b/c how we all want to d--n banal obstacles when we d--n well know an apparently 'not asking for much, it's sssooo ordinary right ?' request or goal and what mundane a stepping stone it is.
F--k this traffic. Holistic health place nigh within site.
Driving course, hobby courses (vocal or art ?), dating...which one of reaching those four will agitate me more within the brief span of acceptable and more light and heat season when being productive doesn't feel like it has as much a reason to stop (unlike the effin winter)
Cell phone data is precious,f--k the price of it.
Well, what do you know ?. The f--r didn't give an excuse of bugginess
The day was bright and gorgeous like this one.
Fun to have found this out: https://rec.mcmaster.ca/programs/classes
I can't find a registration spot for a fencing intro class on ~July the 10st but there's a lot more classes than at the community college I knew of (=_= the one where I'm not even allowed to be barefoot to do yoga) and with the registration processes they have in place it makes me think they take it more seriously, so a $20 to ~$55 hike seems not entirely invalid to me now.
Some things begin around the fall and winter seasons.
Had trouble booking a follow-up acupuncture appointment and really hoping for no phone tag inconvience whensoever I get a reply back.
Why the impulse to crave to be somewhat of peak fitness examplar beyond the usual craving to be unambigiously appealing in one aesthetically imeediate way ?. Why what seems to be asking to be 'more brawn than brain' in one sense ?. It's b/c*even if I typically appreciate 'the baseline' of what the (usually 'hospital-centric) Canadian and my province level health coverage does, I'm not much fond of, nor find much fun in interacting, socializing and hinging on the healthcare system** .
So maybe the sooner I look and do stunts like Zac Efron, the more I'm distant I become from going senescence based frail anytime sooner ?.
Additionally, I can't stand how so much of the ontology of becoming skillful at most anything is through that usually nonverbal slog of 'practice'. Thus, the more understanding I have the corporeal, kinesthetic and kinesiological significance of a practice, the more confident, the more trust I can have to make decisions which are effectual and have a preferable 'economy of movement' to them..there is a f--g difference btw a 31 yr old neurodivergent 'weirdo' doing this in contrast to an allegedially neuronormative, high ego and narcissism tween-late 20 male meathead or a (past me) 'mysteriously barely functional' underdeveloped undiagnosed autistic male minor who is ridiculed to having mannerisms and attitudes more befitting of someone 1/3+ younger.
I could complicate this more by bringing up the legacy of attitudes and social expectations b/c of c--y takes on 'the mind-body duality' give or take Descartes yadda,yadda.. '-' =_= or you know, 'most of it' could be alleviated by consistent socializing but even when I'm in a good mood that I barely have any free-time like many after 25+ let alone find age demographic cohorts in a stupid city which attitudes which range from self-deceptively stuck up and ignorant to prison yard personality is a deterrent for which the lockdowns were all the more of a boon to me.
* =_= recent perils like certain right-wing figures make things seem shaky and someone was nifty enough to make something of a musical out of the post-lockdown Canadian healthcare scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_7weVo2qV0&t=2517s
**mental/intrapersonal healthcare I feel dissimilar about..one of those perks of 'climbing up' as per the Maslow's hierarchy that when the physical resource stuff is covered the more abstract stuff becomes pressing to you and what you focus to chipping at next..but even now I'm fine for the most part but find 'the next part' of addressing intrapersonal stuff in naturopathy and what internal competitive impulses I have
This posting, making this posting without a stupid excuse of bugginess popping up, I'm rpoud of. As I am of karaoke yesterday and garnering an approach to it.
After busing thoughts
Most recent
That uncomfortable occasional staring at someone who you think you might know when on your way home on a 'can barely sit down' bus and you want to ask them ~"Excuse me as you [blank]" but worry that'll make things more uncomfortable or spark a conversation when you need to stop and get off soon anyhow
Them I don't mind--and there's a linger part of me wondering if I should've persisted in email penpalling them..thoughts of a phenotype of someone I had feelings for even with one or two attributes on my mind--tying in to what worries I've had recently that might've expressed itself in that dream overnight.
__
The disappointment which comes when someone did something nice for you like wait until you got to the only bus stop and then like a salty,blustering local cliche you actually have to struggle and self-negotiate and self-argue lest you get all the more misanthropic does a f--g uninformative and stuck up in undertone "Let's gggooo!!" yell at the last stop which didn't understand counted for a stop, one street south 'and in front' for what buses go from west to east.
'_' >:I You still only get an hourly wage, a--hole !. It's not piece-work !. Switching to an alternate tone with a much more informative "Last stop!" does yourself a favour as well you callous self-deceptive,miserable lout
Ppl glorify driving to risk becoming like that !. Your not supposed to say you're going to look forward to the day of AI automated vehicles but twits like these aren't helping for a case against it.
Since I wasn't wearing my glasses at the moment I couldn't distinguish there age but if someone says some ~"It'll happen to you" menace what trusts-me, what confidence I have to say " -_- No I won't" is how most of my age cohort ran away from the region of the city where kind of shlock happens plus how sans immigrants it's mainly bitter over-the-hill ppl who you might stereotype to being sensitive to being reactionary b/c of how insensitive they are mannerism-wise.
Wednesday comes the bi-monthly beg bug inspection which compels me to clean before my vak-kay se termina.
Okay I enter my apartment, charge my phone, drink my refrigderated smoothies...
and I rreally don't want to go on YouTube but this late in the day you want to decompress and hence aren't up to making a new cognitive investment like committed book reading, fiction or otherwise or even audiobook listening.
Now what disappointment awaits me in investing a ~+20 minute pursuit a finding a suitable listener on here, after my smoothies as I choose to allocate my decompression energy like that,hmmm ?
=_= `_` S--t should've I at least wryly smiled at the purpose who I found familiar on the bus as to alleviate them ?. "Treat others as you would like to be treated" and had someone done that to me so soon after the saltiness of the previous public transit motorist, I'm not too sure I would've given them the benefit of a doubt to think it a generous gesture 'even though I should' `_` -~- .
Upstairs I go, hoping for no hallway banter or blockage.
F--k Google Pixel 7 Wifi issues or is it that some apps are just c--y at reception on it ?.
Given the amount of argument I hear left door, I’m somewhat afraid to know if the sounds I’m hearing are those of argument or ‘intimacy’ right now
Vegeta covering Nickelback: https://youtu.be/o5rgRBYb9BU
If ppl are making fake voice AI conversations btw Joe Rogan and 'blank', on the more wholesome side I'd be keen on hearing at least an occasional conversation btw an AI Nardwaur and a celeb who might not even be mainly music focued (Jamie Foxx for instance).
To all the women on this website, whether they are listeners or not, who put photos of them selves as their profile pictures even at the risk of interacting with misguidedly h—y guys I salute you :/
._. \\ , ._. // <--salute emoticon attempt for yesterday
This is the part where I realize how part of being resilient is ‘being happy’ even to an infectious degree.
Video essays on the vocal patterns and prosody of legendary nice ppl like Fred Rogers or Bob Ross, at least while they presented on TV* would be appreciated.
* I know how Ross was a radically attitude reformed ex-military fellow
Staples rep was passionate enough to dismantle laptop which he complimented and let me keep a wifi,ram card plus hard drive
Dismal is this having happened in this city, less than several days ago:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qveJePNC0do&feature=youtu.be
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/canada/they-had-such-kind-souls-friends-co-workers-remember-hamilton-couple-killed-by-landlord/ar-AA1bX3I1?li=AAggXBV&ocid=mailsignout
'When you're on your own' has been said by Albarn to be the conceptual beginning to 'Gorillaz'.
:I Looking forward to the moment when I think the song 'El Manana' will encapsulate the vibe of something I see rather than something I experience.
These videos apparently set in chronological order as per the virtual band's lore (surprised by how there's a video after the 'Cracker island' one).
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mRz_uqFp8BiLuEZ3-ZUjJZB
The rare confidence 2D gives in the 'Tomorrow comes today' which suitable gives the vibe of an 'intro to the group's video..it already had a Bob Smith of 'The cure' vibe before getting to this mashup https://youtu.be/cQ8FMkyTeng
Forest fires have caused Toronto schools to close down early…that’s been the source of the smoke I scented yesterday at +3 and this ongoing morning ._.
…
The first 0:27 seconds and 2:21+ of this
( not to deny a bit of an antsy reservation seeing Cyrillic and hearing that narration given,since last mid February)
and this are on my mind
Wondering if my at-work email might have any comments about this..
Ibid
—
Super appreciative of the 4:45-5:00 of the remark wherein Todd demonstrates the Italo-house piano chords: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96w5QF-lAs&t=329s
Maybe in one way my porn based self-loathing is the deep I’ll-never-act-on-in-a-self-deletion-way “I don’t deserve to live” impulse. It’s not about looking up anti-suicidality stuff or Berserk stuff.
I might well be unhealthy in habits today. I might eat take out again,b/c I’m too drained and upset to want to cook. The stress which comes with doing one tedious task to get to another tedious task which is mundane but you want to f—g get over with.
Departing with the money to buy a laptop substitute is f—g painful and tedious,even if you don’t get hit with a debit card decline since it’ll entail adjusting the daily point of transaction amount solely for that ‘ one and done’.
F—-g hate the chore of needing to shave. So envious of males who reach adulthood with barely any body or facial hair and not just the East Asian ones.
<~> >~< I can’t see myself making this request too often but with an interest of not adding to the slog by expecting to come across a listener,this is specifically one posting I’d fancy seeing feedback for.
@Modal0154
Cool https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ha3ZpvLTdA (tips for transitioning to the Chrome OS from Windows)
I had my patience nary tried by what seemed to me like the brusqueness of an inexperienced call centre rep regarding how a Chromebook transaction almost didn’t get through. I tried again and it worked on the Walmart site.
Lest we forget the horror of call centre work making ppl like that even if your skepticism towards there auditory face is more like a reservation than a sympathy
My tinnitus was acting up and I'm hoping my hearing won't somehow become as affected as that of the elderly woman who welcomed me at the 'karaoke table'^1.
Furtado's 'Turn off the light' has rapping which is too overwhelmingly fast for me, I can't sustain the deep voice I was going for, for my take on Mr.Kitty's 'After dark' without chest strain and Tom Petty's barely not spoken poetry pacing on the ephemerally mild 'Square One' was where I experimented a bit.
`_` Meaningful time still since I learned that opting for a deeper voice will entail more effort than what my apparently deep and not too pleasant or memorable speaking voice already does, the pacing in 'The night is young's is still a hope of mine even if pacing for hip-hop stylized stuff ought not be underestimated as that's overwhelming in its own rate even if lyrics are fine and pc enough. 'Learning to play' and other Petty picks might suffice but I find it hard to cover him and not immediately think 'country' ( :| don't really understand how 'heartland rock' is a thing).
Most importantly ?, a culminated lesson in 'bar culture' from someone whose had the privilege of exposure to this via an aunt's business even if drinking doesn't appeal to me due to long-standing 'specfic family member use modelling for it'.
Sitting by yourself at a bar, at least when you're also in a participatory involvement like karaoke will get you outed and I can't find any gaurantee for how reception into a circle will be welcoming anymore than a cafeteria scenario. Also, even at that table*, I was not up for small talk.In a sense what worried me the most, ties in to an intrusive thought of ppl 'force feeding me' alcoholic drink. I've always understood and seen how alcohol is a social lubricant and when you overlook the health effects of ethanol what comes is a 'loosening' in a sense of hypothetical less inhibitation to banter which I wasn't keen on. Eating communally in mind ought to suffice but from what I've seen thus far most karaoke bars aren't great for eating.
^1 ._. two things I feel were curt of me to do (i) to have stood to write my next pick whilst someone else was singing and possibly distracting them and (ii) with a somewhat feigned efforts having my back turned by a 1/4 to some of the table while I looked at the person on stage) since I wasn't up for small talk.
