Pieces of the Jigsaw
Hello there, I am Everlee, a teenager who is struggling with a couple of issues. I just want my thoughts to be somewhere and that's why I am starting this thread. I don't mind having comments on this thread as long as they are supportive. :)
There might be some triggers in my posts, so please be careful of not triggering yourself and read further at your own risk. Have a great one!
I am stuck, I am badly stuck. I don't know where to go or what to do but I am just walking on the road, having a hope to see some light. I am really tired of this, so much that I can clearly see how much I have changed from the past, some changes were good but many of them weren't, this is not me. I feel overwhelmed, I am tired of this cycle but can't help and continue walking on it. I hope all of this to change at some point, I have been trying my level best but maybe I need to increase my level now. *Breathes* I'm okay! 🤍
Hey, I'm so resonated with you. i know how you felt and I completely understand that. I believe in you you will get through it like you always did. It's not that easy like we say but you will. Stay strong cutie everything happens for a reason.
hi @everlee, we all are going through the pandemic anxiety, some of us are able to recognize it, but some don’t. I totally get it and you are not alone in this. The important question is how you deal with all of this? can we be of some assistance? do you want to be listened? Take care meanwhile and be blessed!
Hello there @peacefulPaintings , how are you? Thank you so much for replying! : ) I try to distract myself most of the times. I listen to music a lot and I have a couple of distractions and on the top of that, I have exams soon so I try to study if at all I am not able to distract because I can't waste time again and if nothing works, I make a post in this thread, I even try to connect with listeners many a times but sometimes it's just hard to put your feelings into words so that unfortunately doesn't work for me but you know, sometimes images say more than your words so if you have noticed, I generally try to include an image which actually helps me to make things clear for myself and also to take some thoughts out without actually typing everything out. So that's about it, I appreciate you for taking out some time to read this thread and respond as well, it means so much! Take care and stay blessed as well! : )🤍✨
This is so overwhelming, I can't help but cry. I know things take some time to change but I am really tired of being patient now. I probably need a break. I want things to start again but this is still very overwhelming. I need to focus on my studies, I am afraid of making others disappointed. I am drained, completely drained but I can only be patient and wait for the "good things." 🤍 
A change in paradigm may give you a fresh perspective there are no others you are it so live your life exactly as you truly want to!
Give yourself tons of tlc when necessary and smother yourself in self love it is perfectly fine to be independent and then love will come easier when you are exactly who you want to be
Why am I like this? Why can I not focus on one thing? Why can I not sleep? Why can I not eat? Why can I just not be myself anymore? I don't know what is wrong with me, I am so tired of trying at this point, I don't know what is going to work, it is really overwhelming and I am sick of it. I know that I am wrong but I don't know where I am going wrong. Can I please restart this but in a different way? I am really tired of this loop now, I really want this to end but start in a different manner and I don't know how I can do that, I have no idea, I am so lost
@Everlee
Hi, I just want to say I'm here with you. I think it's very creative and a good thing that you add images/quotes at the end of your posts. Sometimes things don't make sense...like why can't we feel better about ourselves when we really want to try. Trying is enough sometimes. I hope you feel better and proud of yourself soon
@Skyy0
Hey there, dear! Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad that you found it creative, I feel that sometimes quotes or images help to clear out my feelings and that's why I try to find a suitable image for each of my post, it serves as a good distraction as well and trying is the least I can do, I felt good that you took some time to read my posts, I am feeling a bit better than before, thank you once again :)🖤✨
I don't know what works for me and what doesn't, the only thing that I am sure about is I need to get out of this place. Can I be myself again? The happier self? I think it's not possible, maybe I need to settle for this version of myself now. I cried last night thinking about how much I have changed, I am not satisfied with the person I have become, I am not happy anymore, can the changes be undone? Will I ever be satisfied with myself? This is just not me, I don't like myself anymore the way I used to. "Things will forever change, Everlee, maybe the new changes will be good, who knows?"
I just read everything I typed in this thread and I can actually see how things have been different for me than how it used to be before, I noticed that I didn't even joke or type "lol" and that's just not me well I have been trying to make things work for me and I don't know how this is going but I am trying and I hope there isn't a bump on my way this soon but of course, who can stop unexpected things! Also, I have this song stuck in my head for like 3 days and I don't know the lyrics which is annoying me like anything but well either way I found a company, I am not the only one who is stuck now!
Sisters who ride
And we swore on that night
We'd be friends 'til we die
But the changing of winds
And the way waters flow
Life is short as the falling of snow
And now I'm gonna miss you, I know
In water rolled, salt
I know that you're always with me
And the way you will show
And you're with me wherever I go
And you give me this feeling
This everglow
Yeah, I live for this feeling, it's everglow
I thought I knew how to do it now but guess who failed again? Probably I am just useless and I can't do anything and I should maybe just shut up and give up on trying now because I so damn tired of it and I was a quick escape. I wish there was a "restart" button but no, there is only a replay button; things just happen again and again, should I be used to all of this? I don't feel like getting used to it because this is just not me, I don't know, I just want an escape I am done with this. There is this sudden raise of hope and then it all comes back again, is this how it is supposed to be? I am so overwhelmed at this point, way too overwhelmed and I don't think it's ever going to be better. Maybe I just need to stop dreaming that things will be alright and there will be better days because clearly, that isn't true for me.
I'm still fixing all the cracks
Lost a couple of pieces when
I carried it, carried it, carried it home
I'm afraid of all I am
My mind feels like a foreign land
Silence ringing inside my head
Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home
Nobody wants to understand me and that hurts so bad. They only notice my anger, they only notice how quickly I react but nobody notices the tears in my eyes, they barely care for me and expect me to act like everything is okay. They want me to understand them but they don't want to do the same. I am the one to forgive everyone quickly but they don't ever care to take an initiative and still, I am the one who is mean. I am tired. I hope they don't say that I never gave any hints.
