Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
internal screaming
they are looking at those videos from our trip
with me talking in them… and im cringing so hard
@LoveMyMoonflowers
trust me... i have videos of my childhood self singing weird songs and i cringe at them all the time. lol. its normal. also dont i cant forget that chat we had about weirdness and english and whatever else we talked about. its just in my brain. 😭
@amiableBunny4016
awww. idk why it’s pretty cute when little kids sing 💜 i guess whenever we might look back at videos/pictures of our younger selves we cringe a little because over time we change so much 🤪 it is normal. <3
lol dw i can’t forget it either 😭 it’s stuck in my brain too. i was literally reading over it… yesterday, i think… because, well - memories. But i think the beginning of that conversation was my fault 😅🤣
#BunnyAndNiAreProudWeirdos Oh and then there’s this one! my masterpiece 😁 #iamasuperproudsaturnianweirdodisguisedtolookearthiansohushyoudontknowimactuallyspacian I had to copy/paste it from the chat 😭 because i (obviously) couldn’t remember the entire thing 😭
@LoveMyMoonflowers
hehe 💗 it is superrrr cuteee!
lmao. i cant stop reading our chat 🤪 it was so funny!
okay 😭 lets break this down:
#iamasuperproudsaturnianweirdodisguisedtolookearthiansohushyoudontknowimactuallyspacian
i am a super proud saturnian weirdo disguised to look earthian so hush you dont know im actually spacian.
I can't forget the strange phenomenons 😀 😀 hehehe.
1."The Strangest World - Strange Phenomenons In The Strangeness of Humanity History"
2.Strange Phenomenon: Illegible and Semi Illegible English occurrences in 2024
3.Strange Phenomenon: Proud Weirdos Cases Rise in Teenagers
4.Strange Phenomenon: Teenagers obsessed with headline Creating (aged 14-15)
which one is your favourite out of the 4? i cant decide #iamindecisiveandcannotmakedecisions 😅
ni 💗 i hope we can make more silly, weird, happy memories together because i loves it!
p.s. i cant believe we made a conversation out of talking about how difficult it was to make one 😅
bunny :) *sends huggles if okie*
tw///sh.
i….. relapsed. i was clean for idk how long but it was definitely over 2 weeks maybe even 3 weeks maybe even more but *** i relapsed today because im *** stupid and because im *** pathetic and because im Ni. And Ni is stupid and pathetic and *** up
i relapsed i *** up
tw///sh
stupid *** urges
guess who is an idiot?
Me!
but that’s not news. it’s always been that way
my head is *** up, my brain is *** up, i’m *** up.
***.
tw crisisey thoughts coming back isn’t that great! yay!
Dear Self,
It's unfortunate there are no nearby cliffs where you live because you deserve to fall off one. Go *** find a cliff one day and *** fall off of it ok?
-You
*tw* talk of dy1ng, please don’t read if it will trigger you.
Oh and….. another one…..
dear self,
theres a lot i have to say to you but im just gonna summarise it with this: go *** d1e
@LoveMyMoonflowers
(Please dont)
I love you 🩷
@unassumingEyes
mhm…….
@LoveMyMoonflowers
we are here Ni. deep breaths okay? 💗 lets take it one step at a time. I know the thoughts or feelings you might be having are really horrible at this point *sits with you* and you deserve support and love friend, even thought you might not believe it. 💗 i love you. we love you friend.
@amiableBunny4016
im so…. numb. i feel a lot and im not feeling anything at the same time
bye
@LoveMyMoonflowers Moon 😞 I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner. Maybe imagine us all sitting with you. Surrounding you with love 💙
im so tired
@LoveMyMoonflowers Sometimes it's more than just being physically tired 😞 mental exhaustion and soul weary. Is there something you can lose yourself in? A favorite book or movie? I know it's not a permanent fix but it could give you a little break from your thoughts 💙
@mytwistedsoul
yeah that’s what i’ve been doing for the past few hours. but afterwards… it’s just temporary so…
@LoveMyMoonflowers I know 😞 and sometimes you can only distract for so long. You take care of them afterwards? Clean them and treat them?
Have you tried rubber bands? Or holding ice? Or drawing where you would normally c*t? Sometimes color will through it off so a red pen works good for that
@mytwistedsoul
it’s ok soul i’ve taken care of them
and idk… :') im sorry. i’ve done the butterfly thing before, drawing butterflies where you normally do it…. and all that. and thought of trying it again but….. idk what happens sometimes
im probably just being…. stupid. and pathetic which is….. how i am. lol.
im sorry friend i don’t want to dump things on you..
@LoveMyMoonflowers You're not being stupid or pathetic 💙 sometimes the urges are stronger than our rational thoughts. Please don't be sorry ok? It even happens to people who've been clean for a long time. Sometimes that internal pain is just too much and you need an outlet
@mytwistedsoul
*Hugs* thank you Soul. 💜 i need those hugs friend so thank you. Sending some big hugs right back
thank you for understanding and for always being so kind to me. 💜
