Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
it’s just too much sometimes…
:/
or not sometimes…
always.
its always too much.
im so tired.
idk my health… physically… it’s starting to scare me a bit
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nii 🌙🥧🥺 perhaps get some rest
but who cares
@LoveMyMoonflowers We care 💙
@mytwistedsoul i second that^ 🩷
@mytwistedsoul +1.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
rainbow bear 🌈🧸 too 🥺, Nii 🌙🥧
@mytwistedsoul @unassumingEyes @slowdecline48 @VictoriaLove7
💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nii 🌙🥧🤗🌈🧸
@LoveMyMoonflowers 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers 🩵🤍
:/
@LoveMyMoonflowers *sits with u*🪑
@unassumingEyes
mhm thanks friend
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*rainbow bear 🌈🧸 also sits with Nii 🌙🥧 & huggiess Nii 🌙🥧💜🥺*
me found this for Nii 🌙🥧🌈🧸
@VictoriaLove7
hugs <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers What's on your mind Moon Pie? Is there something we can do to help? 💙
@mytwistedsoul
no friend it’s okay 💜 …idk. i was just feeling a little lonely tbh. lol. and some other things but 🤪 i’m okie really
@LoveMyMoonflowers Loneliness sucks tbh 😞 and then when I'm around people I think this is why I'd rather be alone 😅 and some other things? No pressure or anything but you're welcome to share 💙 but it's also understandable if you'd rather not too
*offers safe hugs* not that they're a cure all but sometimes it's nice to imagine 💙
@mytwistedsoul
well… i think loneliness and being alone are different. and solitude is different. at least for me their connotations seem different 😅 might mean different things to different people i guess. but you can be surrounded by people everywhere and still be lonely inside. like when you pretend… what people see, that’s one thing. the way things truly are, is kept hidden. i read this quote somewhere “loneliness is the absence of connection, not company” i think that’s true tbh but idk
i’m talking too much 😶
*accepts hugs and sends some back* 💜 if it’s ok to ask, how are you soul? 💜 earlier you said you weren’t doing so ok, with some health issues :( i hope your doing better friend (no pressure to respond)
@LoveMyMoonflowers That makes a lot of sense actually and even if you have a connection to someone - if it's not the right connection - it would still feel lonely. You're right. It's really hard for you being home schooled 😞 but then again if you're bullied at school it can be a life saver too. Do you have any opportunities to join a club or a group with people your age? Or would you rather not do that? ( both are understandable imo 😅)
@mytwistedsoul
yeah your right. there are some connections that aren’t really good for us i guess so even if we had those connections if they weren’t… really healthy or they weren’t really right or idk 😅 yeah we would feel lonely. loneliness is so confusing tbh. it’s like almost everything is confusing in some way… when you try to look into yourself and reflect and try to understand what’s going on in your own head and heart it can be so messy, and so confusing. sometimes we don’t know how we are doing but trying to find out how we are doing deep down inside is… kinda messy and painful. or idk. i feel like nothing im saying makes sense 🤪 sorry to bother you soul 😅
…home schooling is different for everyone, really. for me i think it's better than going to an in person school. i’ve joked sometimes, that i’d die in an in person school. lmao. but yeah i think i would get bullied, my own cousins and relatives have bullied me… so what would kids i don’t even know do. because im just weird. i look weird and i talk weird and everything about me, my existence is just weird (according to my cousins and my brain). my mom and dad decided to homeschool me and my brother for two reasons and one of those reasons was bullying at school. my brother says he didn’t really get bullied but idk. honestly… i don’t remember much from those years but i know it was hard making and keeping friends.. and there was a bit of bullying.
i think homeschooling's basically when home life and school life are combined, they’re one and the same. it can be a good thing and a not so good thing at the same time 💜 hehe. :')
um i don’t think my parents would allow me 😅 idk if there are any clubs or groups here in the first place, there might be but i haven’t looked into that. honestly, if there were, and my parents allowed me… there would be huge debates going on in my head, about whether to go or not. :') im not sure i would ever reach a conclusion. or maybe i’d just go with the good old ‘nope’
ouh oof that’s not good, im sorry soul :( and yeah i get that - everything being the same 🤪 …this is why i have such a hard time in restaurants and those kinds of places. because sometimes i have to try something new and i don’t wanna do that. i guess we feel safer and better with what’s familiar? or idk 💜
i think if i were having an allergic reaction to familiar stuff i’d be a little afraid too :( sending healing beams your way soul 💜 and hugs if okie
no pressure to reply to my essay of course lol, i know i said a lot. :')
after posting it… that’s when you realise how long it actually is 😭
@LoveMyMoonflowers 😂 😅 I laugh but yep!
@LoveMyMoonflowers Everything IS confusing. I'm not sure if it's intentionally confusing or if we make it that way ourselves. Alot of things seem to come down to choices but sometimes what seems like or even feels like the right choice at the time - might in fact be the wrong choice. Which is even more confusing and then of course we need to add in the overthinking because why not?
@mytwistedsoul Hahahaha! Omg 😳
@mytwistedsoul
lmao soul 😭🤣 this reminds me of the one time you said “i wrote a novella”
@mytwistedsoul
maybe both? or it just depends? idk. sometimes i think we humans make some things more confusing than they already are lol or we make simple things confusing. tbh i think this is very broad… it really depends on what we're talking about specifically i think. but yeah a lot of things are super confusing :/ and then of course, the overthinking! yay! :') lol i feel like this part of the conversation itself is a little confusing but maybe that’s just me
i’ve never even called those people family lol 😅 i literally just call them relatives. because the word family sounds too close and im not close to them. :') but yeah your right it does feel worse. i’m so sorry you were bullied in school and family soul :( that must have been so difficult to deal with. home life combined with school life can be so stressful and exhausting. *hugs if okay* 😔💜
tbh… i think family is supposed to mean… the people who care about you and love you and accept you no matter what. the people who make you feel a little more human and a little more accepted. so i think… most people aren’t born into their true family. it’s so sad that oftentimes the people related to us by blood are the ones who don’t care about us and show quite the opposite of care 😔 these kinds of people hardly deserve the title of family even if they are blood related… i think :( it’s sad but it’s reality. :') i think people find their family over time. at least that's kinda what i’ve seen for some people including myself. not everyone here is family to me but a lot of people are including bunny and you soul 💜 but idk those are just my thoughts and opinions lol
yeah it is helpful in that aspect 💜
idk soul people are so… peopley. people are scary sometimes 😭 and many people all in one place is even scarier :') idk :') so yeah… saying no to that kind of thing seems to be an instinct or something lol
yeah your right it’s not just for food… even depression and the darkness can just… become familiar, they feel like home… over time. it hurts but it’s familiar, it’s what we are used to. :') it’s not just for the ok things i guess, we can be familiar with the not ok things too :')
getting something you know you’d like makes sense to me too lol, that’s what i do most of the time if i have that option.
i can imagine it being scary :( and hard 😔 because you don’t want to eat something that causes a problem but at the same time your not sure what that something is :( has this kind of thing happened before? the allergic reaction thing i mean - with food
i really wish i could help more, somehow
*hugs back and accepts love* thank you soul friend 💜 idk how im doing tbh so im just gonna say im doing okay lol 😎 yep! everything's fine here in the world of Moon Pie 🌈 even though she has no idea what’s going on :')
thank you though friend 💜 i hope you know i appreciate you lots 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers It's probably a combination of both that depends on the situation lol
Sometimes I think it gets confusing because we're not quite sure how to
say what we want to say. It can be hard to find the right words and then in trying
to explain I think we probably over explain? And it feels like we're talking in circles? 😅
I think you're absolutely right about family. It doesn't have to be blood relation -
the people I'm close to here I consider family too. It's family that I picked and that
picked me too. I think that makes it better and more meaningful 💙
This is so true. People are peopley. In some cases the more people I get to know the
less I actually like people in real life. There's always some hidden motive
or agenda and if you can't or won't or don't give them what they want - they get
angry and aggressive. Nobody needs that. Some days it's just hard to meet peoples
expectations. I have people on here that get upset when I'm here but don't talk to them. They're very pessimistic and if I'm down already it just makes me slide farther down. Hopefully that doesn't sound too harsh 😬 I try to be understanding of their situation. But sometimes I just don't have the energy for them. It's frustrating and disappointing because i don't think anyone should feel obligated to talk to someone if they don't feel like it.
Depression does become comfortable. With enough time you can get used to just about
anything. It hurts when you have a day or two that's good and then it comes back. Like
build up my hope alittle just to knock me down again. Awesome - thanks life! Or people
add to it too. They're in a bad mood or what ever and feel they need to spread it around
I've never had issues like this with food before. Usually I avoid things based on texture and
and taste. And of course bad childhood experiences but that's a whole other story lol. Hopefully
I figure it out soon. The doctor said it could just be Idiopathic anaphylaxis? Which it's nice that there's a name for it lol but it would be nicer to know what's causing it. It's been better this week. Last week it happened twice 😕 It could have just been worse those times because of stress - Idk lol
It's completely ok to not know for sure. It's a fine line I think and alot of us walk that line
all day every day. Because we can be ok one minute and not ok the next. It depends too on who or
what contributes to it
You're welcome and thank You too. 💙 I hope you know that I appreciate you very much too and I am grateful that we're both a part of each other's little family here. Along with Bunny and Opti and a bunch of others lol - so many names 😊
……
when your friend whom you haven’t talked to in forever tells you they’re leaving cups
….
@LoveMyMoonflowers
>: a cups friends done the same thing to me before🩷for me it was a bit overwhelming and confusing? how do you feel about it tho💜? I can’t imagine it being anything good😞🤍
@iloveyouxx
…people come and go nadia. that’s kinda how it is. i’m just wondering… it was just so random… at least it felt random… im wondering whether they left cups in peace or they left because of meanie thoughts or something that happened here :( i hope they’re ok..
@LoveMyMoonflowers i think flowers...it was smth that happened here ❤️ ive seen frnd frustrated trying to get support and being told off. Or well- i havent *seen* it but frnd has complained about it and ive seen that- cups was making things worse i think 😞 hope friend finds peace irl ❤️
@unassumingEyes
and it's supposed to be an emotional support site 😞 :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*sits with Nii 🌙🥧🥺🌈🧸 & huggiess Nii 🌙🥧🥺*
@VictoriaLove7
*big hugs* how's you rainbow bear? 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*big hugs back Nii 🌙🥧🤗🌈🧸* me okie just coping with my father as always 🙄☺
@VictoriaLove7
ouh im sorry friend :( i’m glad your okie though, other than coping with your dad :(
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Thank you, Nii 🌙🥧🤗🌈🧸\(^-^)/ How's Nii 🌙🥧?
@VictoriaLove7
me doing okie right now i think, thank you friend 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
rainbow bear 🌈🧸 is vv glad that Nii 🌙🥧 is doing okie \(^-^)/
@LoveMyMoonflowers My thoughts exactly!
@mytwistedsoul
lol :') there is so much to do but i have no motivation 😭 :') so im procrastinating :)
@LoveMyMoonflowers You're not alone there. I have so many things I should do too. Currently I am having a glass of iced tea on the porch 😉
@mytwistedsoul
lol :') *sends motivational beams to soul*
aww that’s nice 💜 i hope your enjoying your iced tea
@LoveMyMoonflowers *sending motivation to you too* 💙 Thank you! I doubt I'll do much more today - have half a headache 😬 Its good iced tea - do you drink it?
@mytwistedsoul
*me wondering whether the motivation is sent in the form of beams because to me beams are edible* 🤔 it’s almost 10 pm here so im saving that motivation for later :P (there’s that word “later” again 😭)
aww what time is it there? (no pressure) i think it would be a little harder to get things done while you have a headache :( i hope it goes away soon, headaches are not fun at all :/
and no i rarely drink anything other than water :') and even with water… i need help @_@ i need to learn to drink more water lol
@LoveMyMoonflowers It's 3pm here. I'd wait until tomorrow if were you too. That's too late to start anything. Now's the time to start to relax and unwind in the hopes of getting some sleep or at least alittle rest
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me also like that Nii 🌙🥧☺
@VictoriaLove7
hehe i think a lot of us are 😅
@LoveMyMoonflowers
rainbow bear 🌈 🧸 procrastinate studying until months since me initially plan 🤭