Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you 💜 Idk how I am lol. why is it i almost always get stuck with that question :') i guess i’ll say i’m okay. idk. 💜
wbu? 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers It's a tricky question. Because usually anything other than ok or fine brings follow up questions. And it feels too complicated to explain
I'm - meh lol. Thank you for asking though 😊💙
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah that’s true. it’s easier to say okay or fine. :') explaining things is hard. and it’s not just that, there’s the fear of being judged, and the fear of being misunderstood too. :')
I think how we answer depends on who asked the question though 💜 it tends to be a bit easier to talk about things here than irl. just feels safer. for me anyways. 💜
Awwe I’m sorry Soul 😞 *sending more hugs* it’s okay to feel/be meh though too :') 💜 No pressure to talk about it but i’m here if you need me. 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers Oh gosh yeah fear of being judged is a big thing. I agree that sharing here is a lot safer than in rl. In real life you have people who will agree how you feel - "you shouldn't feel that way or what have you got to feel depressed about? Or you think you've got it bad" it almost becomes a competition with some people 😕
Aww thank you 💙 I might try to put it on my thread later. I say try because I seem to type and delete a lot lately lol 🤪
@mytwistedsoul
Yep. :') it’s not that I wish people would understand, tbh. one can’t fully understand what it’s like to be another person. you can’t become that other person 💜 but yk… we can try to understand. we can seek to understand and that can really mean so much to the other person. 💜 But the thing is I’ve found a lot of people irl don’t do that 😞 they just… judge, before they understand or try to. after being judged and judged and… after people tell you things like ‘I had it worse’ ‘Others have it worse’ ‘You shouldn’t feel X or Y’ and all that, it’s only natural to fear that same judgment again. 💜 to fear their reactions. :') 💜
Awwe yeah I get that lol when we try to write something and… delete it all. I’m sorry it’s been happening more lately but i do understand that :/ it sucks tbh I wish our brains would just make it simpler and honestly let us… write. just let us do it. :') Maybe try writing it in a journal instead? Maybe you won’t feel the need to delete a lot if you write it in a space where no one else reads it/no one replies to it (?) 💜
Idk lol 🤪
@LoveMyMoonflowers You're right - a lot of people in real life don't want to understand. I think that's probably especially true when it comes to parents because a lot of times they have this I know better than you attitude. And then they wonder why their kids don't talk to them 😞
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah. The I know better thing always comes up in the arguments and always, always in the form of shouting. :') welp. Idk… maybe I’m wrong but it feels pretty conceited to say something like I know better 😅 idk lol.
I agree 💜 I guess cups isn’t perfect either but at least here we feel safer to be ourselves, it feels safer… in general. 💜 (at least it’s supposed to feel safer - teenie land is kinda something else right now 😬)
lmao soul i love how your sense of humour seems to be intact even on the meh-days 🤭🤭 haha. 💜 that’s so true though tbh :') 💜 especially the mental wrestling. 😭 so so much mental wrestling fr, that’s why i’ve found (✨ trying ✨) writing in a journal a bit easier when my brain just decides it’s gonna give me a hard time posting on here (: lmao. 💜
I hope that works out though 💜 I hope you’re trying to be a bit gentler with yourself too. 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers Nah I think you're right. The I know better is conceited. Just because someone might have went through something similar doesn't mean that they know better. Maybe they had better results or something but there's often so many things that can contribute to our experiences 😕
Me nervously waiting for my math test grade lmao 🥲
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Oof math is something else. I didn't even have the exam 😭 but just hearing you're awaiting the result for yours is enough worrying haha the charms of ✨math✨.
Hope it comes out fine, Niibuddy. Sending all the strength your wayyy. 💪💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Eeeeeeeee mathhhh :') we don’t like math lol. ✨ a wise ATL once told me… “yeet maths 🥹” 💜 although i can’t always do that when i do a test now can i :') oh well. 💜 thank you for the strength though, Sunnbuddybeann, I appreciate you vvv much. thank you 💕
(I *think* it went okay but… yk… it’s math so I really dk 😭)
@mytwistedsoul
*To your previous reply because the cups being cups it has the weird reply limit* (Remember those conversations? talking about how annoying the limit is xD because it is annoying 🤭)
Yeah, I agree. 💜 I think they… idk… pull the I’m older thing too (?) when they say I know better. but just because they’re older doesn’t mean they have it all figured out/ they know everything there is to know. :') I wish more parents had more empathy for their kids. there are many parents who have empathy and compassion in some form but they choose to use them with others and not with their own kids. :') welp. 💜
I hope so too :') it’s really weird and crazy and it’s not just affecting a few teens it’s affecting almost everyone. :/ Idk a lot of the conflict has been between the teens who go by the rules and the teens who don’t (especially newbies for some reason). 💜 new members have been arguing literally every rule. I honestly dk how the commods handle it all 😞 they have to log on every day and deal with so much. :') 💜
the arguments are just pointless. resulting from people being mean, not following the rules… and so on. especially resulting from people being mean 😞 it’s like everyone forgets we are all human :') we are all struggling, going through something. the least we can do is just be kind to each other. 💜
Yeah, true. I think journaling is good though 💜 like you said it kinda makes us feel like we are being heard and understood. When i was littler i read a quote that said sometimes only paper will listen. (for some, their notes app.) and i think it’s kinda true tbh. 💜 idk 😅
My idea is that you’ve read it ✨ a lot. ✨ A lot - that isn’t a number but… i never said i was good with numbers now did i? 😛 lol. we see this phrase so much gosh. :')
This part might sound mean, I seriously don’t want to be mean but can I just be honest about my thoughts on this phrase lmao… :') like you said once it feels like it’s being read from a script. memorised. not replying from the heart, not replying because they care but because the post needs a reply. :') welp. kinda hurts tbh. idk.
I’m trying 💜 thank you friend. I appreciate you vvv much and always enjoy talking to you (: 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers The reason behind the reply limit sounds like a bunch of BS tbh lol. It crashes the servers. What?! So too many reply buttons crashes the server but using the last reply button a dozen times doesn't? 🤔
@mytwistedsoul
Lmao soul 😭🤣 ah I agree it does ✨sound like ✨ a bunch of bs. :') see what i did there? 🤣 “it does sound like…” 😛 okay maybe I’m taking it a bit too far 😅 Silly me. 💙
Yeah… it’s not fun. 😞 it hurts. I remember a lot going through my head when that happened in my house, especially when I was younger.
Those are some good ideas. Recently an ATL made a post standing up for the teens and it got a whole lot of replies and there’s a lot of discussing happening over there. I’m glad an ATL stood up to talk about it. (Here) I might bring up some of those ideas you listed, with an admin but I PMed an admin a few days ago and they haven’t replied yet. Kinda understandable since they probably get a ton of PMs.
I’m not entirely sure about badge requirements. newbies get access to TCR (the same as adult side’s MCR) immediately but they need to make a forum post or chat with a listener to get access to SR. Idk what the requirement is for the LGBTQ room. those are our 24/7 rooms (just three 😅) but most of the conflict has happened in TCR and SR. which is why lots of teenies move over to the Rainbow room just to have a quieter conversation or to get support 😞 it’s sad they can’t feel safe in SR.
Thank you friend. 💙 and honestly I was looking for the word lol, you said it - dismissal. 😞 it hurts to get those replies… but idk it hurts even more to see them literally everywhere. :') I love to see the genuine replies, the ones from the heart. There’s someone here you and I both know, she’s always so sweet and real and genuine to everyone 🥺 her replies are always so very heart warming and precious. 💙 and her hugs are the best (:
Your anger is justifiable. “Thank you for sharing”? really? lmao. feels like they didn’t even read the post they just looked over it and were like… welp… thank you for sharing. :') Ah journals do better jobs at listening than that. 💙 :')
I like essays from other people but I always feel annoying when I’m writing them an essay :') Idk why lol. 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers It's even funnier that you said that because I just got a reply from someone and that was their first three words 🤣🤣 It does sound like a bunch of BS 😜
Omg 😭😭😭 How did that turn out so long 😭😭😭 I wrote another essay what the heck 😭😭😭
I’m in an essay-writing mood today. my replies are turning into huge essays lmao.
94% on my math test.
@LoveMyMoonflowers Hey that's great! Congratulations!! 🎉
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you Soul :') 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
yayyie! Nii 🌙🥧☺
@VictoriaLove7
Thank you Rainbow Bear 🌈🧸
@LoveMyMoonflowers Congrats, frnd 🥺❤️
@unassumingEyes
Thank you Eyes 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sunnnnbuddyyyyy 💜 *happy dance with youuu*
I’m tired af.
Me so sick 🤧
@LoveMyMoonflowers *sends healing beams in pretty colours*
@unassumingEyes
*eats beams* :> /lh
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*sent warm soup for Nii 🌙🥧*🥺
@VictoriaLove7
Thank you for the soup Rainbow bear 💕 hru friend? 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Rainbow bear still has some parts of itchy skin, & right knee sometimes in pain, but it is okie ☺
How's Nii 🌙🥧? 🤗
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nvm.
@mytwistedsoul
yeah it was removed :/ one of my buddies tagged another admin and i tagged two atl friends so they could see the post….. almost immediately, it was removed. :’) i have no idea why. 😞
one atl pmed me asking me what the post was because one of them couldn’t see it :')
idk why it would be removed we weren’t having any conflict there…..? we were just addressing an issue? :’)
@LoveMyMoonflowers Idk this is really sad and disappointing. The problem doesn't go away just because they deleted it. There wasn't any conflict on it - if anything you were all just trying to brainstorm. You were bringing attention to a problem that was happening on the teen side.aybe that's why it was deleted? They have trouble accepting that there's sometimes problems. 😞I was reading and went to contribute and it was gone
You teens don't lose hope though ok? Maybe now something will be done 💙
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah it sucks when they do that 😞 it’s not fun at all, and it doesn’t help. Something kinda similar happened with an issue… that I wrote a post about a while ago. And a leader replied saying something like…… “This is how it’s always been” 🙄 Uh… if there’s an issue 😅 if there’s a concern the solution isn’t saying “Well that’s how it’s always been….” lol. 💜
Thank you Soul. 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers Instead of deleting it - they could have just posted a simple thank you for bringing this to our attention and they're looking into it and will hopefully have a solution. Deleting it feels dismissive again 😞
*hugs* 💙
@mytwistedsoul
It does feel dismissive 😞 i felt pretty bad when they deleted it, i wonder how the other teeniies who posted/ replied there must be feeling too :/ perhaps unheard and dismissed. 😞 for me i felt a bit scared when it was deleted lol. :')
thank you for the hug 💙 i appreciate you so much. 💙 you’re an awesome friend soul (:
@LoveMyMoonflowers I can only imagine how the others must be feeling with it being deleted. I know how I would feel. Usually they let you know why - hopefully they did this time. What about it made you feel scared? I noticed that the person who created it is now taking a break 😞
@mytwistedsoul
Idk it was just scary because it was really sudden. Idk why I felt scared. :')
Awwe 😞 I don’t think it’s because of the post getting deleted though, in the listener farewell/taking a break thread, they said they’re taking some time off because they need some rest :o 💙 I hope they’ll be okay. 💜
Hru feeling today Soul? 💙 (if it’s okay to ask)
@LoveMyMoonflowers Yeah it kind of comes as a shock I guess. Idk
@mytwistedsoul
No you’re right friend it does come as a shock :/ like wow what did we do wrong lol, are we in trouble now :') idk. 💙 and it’s okay, that happens 💜 our brains like to add things together like that. 💙 our brains do a lot of things :') oof.
*Sending a million hugs for Soul* I hear you 😞 is it just… everything all at once? :') Sometimes, idk, it feels like literally everything is going wrong and so much is coming at us at once 😞 it’s hard to know what to do with all the hurt and pain and… everything. 💙 I’m sending lots of love and big big big big huggsss your way Soul 🥺💜 Is there anything i can do to help…? 💙
Idk how i am lol 🤷🏻♀️ i’m the same 😎 all the same… :') i think i should be okay but i’m not i’m just real meh. 🤷🏻♀️ not sure what’s wrong, but at the same time i know and i’m trying to avoid it all. idk sorry…
@LoveMyMoonflowers Especially since you all didn't do anything wrong 😞
@mytwistedsoul
I don’t think you’re making too much of it. 💜 And yeah it’s real frustrating when we don’t know how to explain it… 😞 especially when we want to. :(
Yeah… Idk I guess we tell ourselves we have to be okay. we just fake it, pretend everything is fine when it’s really not. :') so you’re right it definitely does build up 😞 just gets messy and overwhelming after all that building up.
thank you Soul. 💜 you, and your hugs, mean so vvv much to me too 💜 i appreciate you. 💜 i hope you know that. :') 💜 i’m sad you’re hurting so much right now and that everything is so hard… 😞 sometimes i wish we could just poof our own problems and poof the problems of our friends but i guess life just doesn’t work that way… :/