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In the Corner

unassumingEyes January 18th

Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3

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unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Alive. He's alive. He's- 

Member friend is-

Alive

How do u tell smone u thought they were d-ad? You dont, i suppose

Everyone else might think i over reacted fearing him gone

But i know what we spoke of last

And now

That doesnt have to be our last conversation anymore

He's alive

And my overthinking brain is wondering whats different what isnt, what he needs what he doesnt, what i should say what i shouldnt but none of that matters 

Cause he's still alive 

Watch me not know how to react other than the obvious relief and joy. I never seem to know how to react- 

I want to tell everyone. I want to spin my sister in a circle and jump in front of mom and msg my irl friends that he's alive 

But they dont know him. They dont know cups. And i cant have them ask

So i sit down and think it over and over again and try not to burst

I am trying real hard not to burst 

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Im useless

(Is that okay?)

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Why does it feel like we’re protecting adults from the fact that they didnt protect us?

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Ok, tell me if im being weird, or dumb

So i didnt want grandmother over for 2days right? Well it got worse-

First of all, she was supposed to leave today. I think she’s going to leave on Monday now. Or maybe way after? She bought a toothbrush and chose a blanket and tried to convince my sister to buy a bathroom scrub for our bathroom that she liked and bought a towel and keeps talking about how our house suits her more than it suited us and im like, in my head, “if ur trynna do what i think ur trynna do, im not letting it work” there is no way shes moving in like sndjhhdjuhs??? 

Tw

And she offered to bathe my 18yr old sister??? My sister was like no thank you and shes like why not and my sister is like im too old for that and she said ur not too old for me, ill get the dirt off of you from all the places and wash you right and my sis just said no thanks again and im like

????? Shes 18yrs old?? Thats disgusting, right? Aint no way im over reacting?? 

2 replies
justmeeva April 27th

@unassumingEyes 

idk i agree with you, it is.. strange. softly said. /lh

1 reply
unassumingEyes OP April 28th

@justmeeva

Mmm yea if the adults try anything with her moving in im gonna put on a firm protest 

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unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Watch me stress tomorrow. Or you know, dont. Whichever

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Here because its easier to hurt myself than others 

why did that sum up so much for me-

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Scrolling fics titles and 

Soldiers without a war

yeah. Really does feel like im fighting without anything there to fight for or against sometimes

unassumingEyes OP April 27th

Tw i knew i remembered right. Vague memories but true. I flicnh for a reason when uncle gets mad. I ache for a reason when he yells at 14year old cousin.

my sis kept telling me she never remembered him raising his hand against the boy.

i was 1yr older than him. I was with him alot. 

I remembered, vaguely, but i remembered. I was right. 

He stopped because-

it makes me so mad why he stopped

1 reply
unassumingEyes OP April 27th

@unassumingEyes

Tw According to my grandmother he stopped because she threatened to move out unless he stopped hitting 14yr old cousin.

According to my grandmother. I dont know who to trust 

Im just reeling. Theres so much i remember but dont. Like i dont hv clear memories, images. But i remember in *words* like

He used to get angry when it wasnt cousins fault.

Cousin used to cry, sometimes. I have no mental image of this at all.

Cousin wld argue back but my brain says i could tell he was scared.

Yeah.

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LoveMyMoonflowers April 27th

*comes and sits here if okay*

…hi. i haven’t been here in a while. i’ve been hiding a bit. i’m sorry.

5 replies
unassumingEyes OP April 27th

@LoveMyMoonflowers cups frnds hide a bit recently. Makes me a little worried but also glad they know its okay to take time for themselves. And it is okay 100000%. Really. And im not alone here, usually. And u dont have any obligation to me sooooo 

Iss ok 💓  

Look at this funny face frnd: 


(ノ゚ー゚)ノ

^me yeeting away flower frnd's troubles 

4 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers April 27th

@unassumingEyes

*hugs you tight if okay but not too tight* I missed you, im sorry 

3 replies
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unassumingEyes OP April 28th

@iloveyouxx 

Missing you. I guess it hasnt been that long since we talked? But i miss you anyways :p and- i thought u shld know. I was like, wish nadia knew i missed hee and then i realised i cld just tell u :p  

Issok if ur hiding or busy 🩷 im willing to wait 🩷