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In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

mytwistedsoul November 7th, 2019

With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.

A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.

While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.

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mytwistedsoul OP July 6th

do you remember how it started

when you were hiding in the dark

the voices that called you at the end

were they angel, demon....friend?


what if something waits under the bed

creeps out at night 

and lives in your head?


if everything is better when you're dreaming

why are we so afraid to sleep 🐾 

1 reply
slowdecline48 July 6th

@mytwistedsoul Some interesting short verse...

It kinda reminds me of this.

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mytwistedsoul OP August 29th
1 reply
slowdecline48 September 6th

They go heavy on the chorus...

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mytwistedsoul OP August 30th

mirrors broken

fractured and shattered 

the face u see, shows chilling imperfections 

kindness is gone, now a sneer

a monster within, drawing near


darkness takes hold

the good that once was, bought and sold

whispers grow louder, the lines blur

a beast awakened 


rage simmers, fires consume

burnt bridges, disobeyed rules

empathy fades to distant memories 

the world a playground for mankind's cruelty


should we fight back? can we regain control?

are we destined for such a hellish role?innocence lost, such a heavy price to pay

for the monsters awakened, on that fateful day


monster roars, only a spark remains

of the light we once held, fighting with our chains

someday maybe we'll find our way back 

for now, we are all monsters walking o

n a desolate path

3 replies
mytwistedsoul OP August 30th

🐾😊

slowdecline48 August 30th

@mytwistedsoul A good commentary on the human condition. 👍🏼

amiableBunny4016 August 30th

@mytwistedsoul

your writing is always so eloquent soul 💙 thank you for sharing this soul! its always lovely reading your writing!

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LoveMyMoonflowers September 5th

thinking-of-you-i-miss-you.gif

4 replies
mytwistedsoul OP September 5th

@LoveMyMoonflowers Aww thank you Moon Pie! 💙 It's nice to see you 😊

4 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers September 5th

@mytwistedsoul

it's nice to see you too Soul. ❤️ you've been in my thoughts a lot.

4 replies
mytwistedsoul OP September 5th

@LoveMyMoonflowers And you've been in mine 💙 *offers safe hugs* 💙 I've missed you 

4 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers September 6th

@mytwistedsoul i've missed you too. *hugs* how have you been soul ❤️ how's your health? *no pressure* 

4 replies
mytwistedsoul OP September 11th

@LoveMyMoonflowers  I'm idk? Trying to be productive. Health is about the same - just learning to manage some things better. Thank you for asking 💙 

How is Moon? *no pressure either* 💙

4 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers September 20th

@mytwistedsoul I didn't realise it's been so long… you posted this literally 9 days ago. :') time is so weird. i'm so sorry for the late reply :/

Yeah… i get that, i guess sometimes when we try to be productive it’s easier to distract ourselves from… stuff. lol. *hugs for soul if okay* I'm glad your managing some things better. 💜 but health is so weird isn't it… :/ and is so stressful. :') 

i'm kind of the same, trying to be productive. Keeping myself busy with school work and writing. other than that… it's a mystery 😭 Let's go with 'fine.' *shrug* 

💜 *Sends lots of love* 

3 replies
mytwistedsoul OP September 20th

@LoveMyMoonflowers Hey that's alright. No worries and no need to be sorry ok? 💙 Time is fluid. Health is definitely weird and what works for one person doesn't always work for someone else. Stress?! What stress ?! 😅 I'm glad you're keeping busy although having to do school work would really suck tbh lol. Sometimes being productive seems over rated doesn't it? If it's ok to ask - You writing for purpose or for pleasure? I'm fine doesn't really sound fine. *offers safe hugs 💙* You know you can always talk with me right? No pressure of course *lots of love to you Moon Pie 💙* 


2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers September 22nd

@mytwistedsoul hi, sorry for the late reply again. i almost read that as health is fluid and time is definitely weird lmao. 😭 my eyes working weird at 5 am.

yep. i wish it was the same for everyone but that just ain’t how it works. it would be much easier tho if everyone was the same health wise. :') 

yeah, it’s ok though. what is weird is that i basically have to work on school stuff throughout the week even on weekends, cause its obvi more work than last year and on top of that… i'm slow aha. i'm good at getting behind lol

soul idek what productivity is 💀 that’s why i said, trying to be. i know what overworking is, i know procrastination… but what is real productivity 😭

both i think. idk. and don’t worry about me, I'm ok. *hugs for you too* thank you Soul. 

💜 sorry. 

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP September 25th

@LoveMyMoonflowers No worries. There never a timeline to reply Moon Pie 💙 There's nothing to be sorry for ok? 


You're in a higher grade level now and I guess they have to give you more to do to prepare for college. It sucks that you have to work on it on the weekends though 😕 You have no down time

Tbh I'm not sure about productivity either. I got no motivation. I have the time but it's not used wisely that's for sure
Ah you know I'll worry anyway 💙 Only because I care 
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mytwistedsoul OP September 27th

some times we wonder what's the point

so disappointing we can't control it

we hide it, tuck it away, instead of exposing it

we get pushed past the breaking point

when reality hits, which is something we can't avoid


in sleep, in dreams, picture me with gasoline, 

let's light this place up 

because there's no time to contemplate a better way


even with the lights off

we can't escape the shadows that we saw

we didn't mean to believe in them, 

thought we'd get away but sometimes we get it wrong


stuck in a cycle

see the sh*t that keeps getting clearer 

thought that it might be over 

take another look in the mirror 


despite thinking it, and gravity blinking in 

over your shoulder

demons keep sinking their teeth in

if it keeps us dreaming

of working this sh*t out

and if it's so hard to keep breathing 

maybe its time that you sit down


all you cucks better listen up

give it up, thinking I give a ***

keep chasing the past as though it isn't stuck

it will burn you down and I will wish it luck


while we're waiting

all the memories are fading

and we can't remember, exactly what we're chasing


when you see the world 

crashing down maybe you will realize

that nothing has changed  

every thing fades, everything dies

and you need those shadows to tear you apart

because they're the only thing that's truly alive

😈🐾


mytwistedsoul OP October 12th

We're spreading my father's ashes this weekend. I'm not looking forward to this. 

3 replies
slowdecline48 October 16th

@mytwistedsoul Sorry I didn't see this earlier, Twist...been a bit occupied over here.

May your father rest in peace, wherever he is (assuming an afterlife, of course).

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP October 16th

@slowdecline48 It's alright Slow. I probably should have just kept it to myself anyway. Apparently now that that bit is done everything is magically all better now according to some people 😐 Thanks though 

1 reply
slowdecline48 October 17th

@mytwistedsoul In this case the only person who can decide if it's "all better" or not is you. Besides, what is your journal for if not for heavy posts?

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mytwistedsoul OP October 12th
mytwistedsoul OP October 26th
2 replies
slowdecline48 October 26th

Quite a song...perfect for silencing the "merciless inner critic" voice. It isn't the kind of music I normally listen to, but I dig it anyway.

Didn't know who Jelly Roll was until now. Prior to tonight, all I knew about him was that testimony in Congress about fen.tanyl.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP October 28th

@slowdecline48 I came across him in a Falling in Reverse song. I had not heard much of him before that. Was just cruising stations and this song came up

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mytwistedsoul OP 2 days ago

Sometimes someone says something that makes absolutely no sense. Today was an internet chat person. The internet has been dropping out every day at the same time. A tech was here on Wednesday and replaced the ONT and supposedly fixed the problem. Noticed that evening it was really slow. Seemed fine the next day. Friday it's iffy. This morning it goes out and came back on and seemed fine. Then we reach that golden hour when lo and behold it drops out completely. Cue a chat with one of their "helpers". Yes, I would rather text than talk on the phone. 

Her: "What lights do you see?" Me: "The power and the LAN." She repeats the same question and I give the same answer. We went through this 4 times. My last reply, (I was frustrated) and I said "I'm not sure how else to explain it to you but it's the power and the LAN." She proceeds to tell me that "I asked what lights you see, not what lights are lit." Now that's a real head scratcher. Because I couldn't see the lights if they're not lit, correct? I'm telling her that the lights that I SEE lit but it's not the right answer? At this point I told her "I'm going to go now" and I turned the phone off. Ironically, it came back on an hour later. 

I've been trying to figure out what I missed. Was this a trick question? Some ancient riddle? Was she following a script and I was supposed to just say "I see 2 lights." To which she would reply, " what 2 lights do you see?" Did my providing a complete answer break protocol? 


15 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers 2 days ago

@mytwistedsoul jesus christ of nazareth. that sounds so frustrating 😭 ☹️ bro i don’t understand chat support sometimes. 

5 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers 2 days ago

or people in general. 🙄

mytwistedsoul OP 2 days ago

@LoveMyMoonflowers It didn't really seem all that supportive in all honesty. (Smh) People! 

3 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers 2 days ago

@mytwistedsoul many things advertised as supportive are hardly supportive at all. :'D 

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP 2 days ago

@LoveMyMoonflowers That does seem to be a common theme unfortunately (as we both look around innocently)   👀 lol

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slowdecline48 2 days ago

@mytwistedsoul @LoveMyMoonflowers Now multiply this finding by however many people over the next decade or two &, depending on your disposition, you may well arrive at misanthropy. I certainly did...sometimes I still do.

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slowdecline48 2 days ago

@mytwistedsoul Did this tech support "helper" speak in a foreign accent of some kind?...just a thought.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP 2 days ago

@slowdecline48 Since it was through chat I'm not sure. But the person I spoke to on Tuesday did. And the back ground voices were also like that.


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slowdecline48 2 days ago

This is probably paranoia on my part, but I'm also wondering if the point of her repetitive obliviousness was to make you hang up in frustration so she wouldn't have to actually do her job. Very lazy people can sometimes be clever in figuring out ways to shirk their tasks.

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mytwistedsoul OP 2 days ago

@slowdecline48 I had toyed with this idea but I guess I was hopeful that her employment might mean something. Although it is a Saturday and it would suck to be stuck in a building guiding people to whatever lights they're supposed to see lol

2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers 2 days ago

@mytwistedsoul it might suck, but they could be a little nice and help like they’re supposed to 😭 

slowdecline48 2 days ago

😂 Good point!...I hadn't thought of that. If I had to do tech support on weekends, I'd probably show up drunk 🤣

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LoveMyMoonflowers 2 days ago

@slowdecline48 ugh yes, these people exist. 🙄 My sister worked a call centre/chat support type job once and she had colleagues like this. 

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@mytwistedsoul I just saw this thread pop up on my homepage! I hope you don’t mind if I join the discussion!

Lights that you see but are not lit. 🤔 You accidentally contacted the hotline for the bridge troll from the 3 Billy Goats Gruff story. I want to tell her all about the constellations in the sky that I don’t see during the day, the lamp that’s off in my living room, the lights I see behind my eyelids when I close my eyes, these little stars that dance in front of my eyes when I stand up too fast. Then she’d know how to fix your internet.

I think you gave her too smart of an answer. Her sheet probably wanted you to say something like 2 pretty blinky things.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP 1 day ago

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I don't mind at all! Welcome! 😊 Your reply gave me a much needed laugh! If I run across her again I'm going to have to try and remember what you said here! 😂 Thank you!  

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mytwistedsoul OP 1 day ago

(sigh) Internet update. It went out at exactly the same time again today. The word yeet kept coming to mind. Yeet it out of the house and down the mountain. I braved a phone call. Today's gentleman was French. Heavy on the French accent. I understand that everyone needs to work. There's bills to pay and all the good things that come with life. He probably has his own Internet to pay. But where do they find these people? Thank God he was polite because I felt 2 inches tall after the third time I asked him, "could you please repeat that?" Then he tells me he's going to "escalate the situation." What does that mean?! I didn't ask. I don't think I want to know. I'm thinking he meant he's giving it priority. Because he said something about the guy that was just there on Wednesday and it's doing the same thing now again. "There's something not right" Le gasp! You don't say? It hasn't come back on like it did yesterday. You never realize how much the Internet distracts you, until you don't have that distraction.  

5 replies
amiableBunny4016 16 hours ago

@mytwistedsoul

this story has become very interesting soul 😄 As much as I feel bad for you its the most enjoyable thing to read. I hope the internet gets fixed soon! good luck lol.

escalate the situation? what does that mean? lol. thanks for making my day with such a funny and enoyable, and sad story. 🤣


Bunny :)

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP 5 hours ago

@amiableBunny4016 I'm glad it made your day Little Bunny! 😄

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PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 12 hours ago

@mytwistedsoul Le gasp! 😂😂

slowdecline48 11 hours ago

@mytwistedsoul Two things come to mind:

  1. May I have permission to use your first "tech support idi0t" post for calligraphy practice? I think it's comedy gold...it will withstand the test of time.
  2. You probably need a few more interesting books. Keep a few around for when Net access goes down...you can catch up on your reading. It's one of the ways I deal with it.
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mytwistedsoul OP 4 hours ago

@slowdecline48 Of course Slow, have fun with it! 

There was many things I could have distracted myself with. The internet is mindless entertainment that I don't really need to concentrate on, but I did end up reading a few chapters of a book about Welch WV. 

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