In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
@mytwistedsoul
I'm sorry to hear things aren't any better. The stomach troubles and exercising and there's no reason behind it? I know alot of times doctors can gaslight just as much as everyone else. They just don't want to listen and they think they know everything but everybody is different
Somehow i cannot reply to the original post.
Anyways, i dont really know what or who to blame. My choice, decision, stupidity, stubborness or whatever...
@mikenai They made changes to the forums and how we reply. There's a limit to each post and then you have to make a new comment I guess you could say
It can be really hard to make changes with ourselves but I definitely don't think you're stupid. I think our mindset sort of becomes a habit and habits are hard to change
@mytwistedsoul
Hey i aged up
@sunshinegiraffe123 welcome to the oldie side, Allie! ❤ Happy Birthday (belated?)
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Yes, belated but thank you
@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey! Congratulations and a Very belated Happy Birthday to you! ❤️ I hope you had a nice birthday 😊
@mytwistedsoul
They made changes to the forums and how we reply. There's a limit to each post and then you have to make a new comment I guess you could say
It can be really hard to make changes with ourselves but I definitely don't think you're stupid. I think our mindset sort of becomes a habit and habits are hard to change
I see no wonder. guess im away for too long.
well, you caught me. this habitual habits has seriously turned nasty on me.
@mytwistedsoul
took a listen, was fearing it was one of the heavy types.
this, i like the pace and tone, very calming. appreciate that you shared twistedsoul.
@mikenai Hey Mike :) its a really nice song. Like you said it's calming, almost melancholic. I'm glad you liked it
@mytwistedsoul
thank you again for sharing.
sad bad day today
@mytwistedsoul
im ok... just need u to sit with me
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'm right here ok? :)
@mytwistedsoul
yeah still nervous about being on this side though
@mytwistedsoul- what a sweet and melancholy song. Realizing I had to grow up so quickly in life. So many of us faced responsibilities so soon as young adults. Hugs to you.🐴❤️🐴
Change is super hard indeed (also a bit more hard when we feel that things were fine or finerrrr before the change lol) *relates* again hehe and thankiees, the melty emoji is my new favorite xD
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou At the risk of sounding like a whiner - it seems like everytime one change is finally comfortable along comes a new one 😕
I don't have a melty emoji *bummer*
@mytwistedsoul
Aw no no, it's okay to say how we feel/ think without that being labeled as whining or complaining or some other word people use to invalidate the feelings and make us feel far worse for feeling how we do/did.
Not whining, Soul. ❤ I actually relate too much on this topic of "change" hehe, it's unsettling and difficult to say to least, (even good changes can feel this way), because we've been made to live with a certain setting physical and emotional and then when there's some kinda difference or change in it, it is bound to feel a bit phased-out. I get you completely with the "just when it seemed like we got the hang of something, there's a loud thudd and *whoosh* back to square one of familiarizing with the events physically and emotionally".
*comes back to 7 cups* xD
Now technical changes being even harder because they are directly linked with what we do here, ofcourse impacting it now lol, feel that heh.
And aww I don't have the melted emoji either lol, google helps xD one search away wee wee. Here you go though: (one for you and one for me 😆)
❤❤❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou *looks around nervously* you got a different memo than I did - sorry I make jokes sometimes when I get nervous 😅 Sharing feelings is a struggle - it doesn't feel safe
I agree - even good change feels off. Like it throws off my balance - of what I know maybe? What is concrete and what is certain
😁 Cups and change - lol That whole reply button thing really still gets me *smh*
Praise to the power of google! Holy cow they have a few different ones
*I wanted to say it was really awesome to see you in that chatroom yesterday and I hope I didn't come across as rude or unwelcoming because I didn't mean to. I was just really trying to stay focused on who I was talking with but I hope to see you around again ❤️*
@mytwistedsoul
Aw I get that (maybe even more than I would like to lollll), sharing about feelings is indeed a struggle, doesn't feel safe and then comes the need to throw in a joke to kinda "de-focus" from the share hehe(?). Completely understandable and again, Soul isn't alone. I'm however, really proud of you for trying to share, despite the struggles. ❤ You did good and we in a no-judgement, no-rush, safe space. It is still and always will be okay to take our time and share at our pace.
And yes exactly hehe, that's apt!
I know right xD *shakes head too* xD
Yasss, they have many 😮 weee weeee, pick your favorite!
*awww* How very considerate of you to say that. But no hehe, you were none of that. Instead, you were warm, welcoming, supportive, and kind, just as I've always seen you. It was so nice to see you being supportive to your friend (as always hehe). Soul is one person I've seen countless times lending a supportive ear to right about anyone and everyone, I think a part of you would find it hard to believe (and I really get it, so no pressure hehe, take your time to believe) but I feel Soul is really awesome at connecting and communicating with people, it's always lovely to come across your words of compassion for others, and to see you engage in both fun and again lol, supportive conversations. Something I hope you're reminded about often, because of you, someone (many someonesss) feels a whole lot better and less alone. Your presence is such. 😊❤
Sending big scoops of rocky-road and cookies&cream 🍦🍦 your way.
It was lovely to see you in the chatroom too, Soul, and I hope to see you again as well.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Made me cry again. ❤️ I'm sorry that you get it too. I realized you might shortly after I posted my reply and I thought I probably shouldn't have said that. 🍕 and 🍪 for saying you're proud - a part of me wants to plead with you not too be. Another part could give you reasons why this isn't a safe place. Sharing thoughts - feelings and concerns isn't safe here. It gets used against me by people once closest too. They've since apologized but it didn't magically make what was said disappear from inside my head. I wish it did. I really really do because those words didn't help the self hate or negative inner dialogue
The world needs more gentle people like Sun. You're allways so kind and up lifting to everyone you interact with here. Like a balm for people's souls. It's a beautiful thing to see and I'm both honored and grateful to know you and receive your kindness. I'm afraid there isn't enough 🍕 or 🍪 in the world to say how grateful I am ❤️
*big hug* shares 🍦to go with 🍕 and 🍪 ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Ahhh late :') but here 😅
Aw not at all, it's more than okay, you said what you had in mind, and I appreciate you opening up more. ❤
Omigosh people here have used your words against you? :/ (it's terrible for any place, but specially for this one, where everyone can practice more kindness and compassion in general also, being a platform for just the same) I do understand why it is extra hard sharing for you :/ and I'm sorry for the mean experience(s) you had, you do not deserve any of it (nobody ever does). I'm glad they apologized but you're so right, apologies do not magically disappear the hurt. Soul is allowed all the time to let it pass, one meanie thought at a time. We never have to rush through it or take it all at once.
Soul, I'm rather gentle in my approach but I want to "yeet" (😛) the meanie thoughts away, and assure you more that this is your space, and you are allowed to share whatever you need/ want/ have/ like to. I'm sure you've come far since then, and I do see you trying, and again, I'm really proud of you, for trying your best, despite what the not-so-nice experiences have made you to think. You deserve a comfortable, non-judgmental, safe and supportive place for yourself (be it here or elsewhere), and I hope you're able to sneak through one of them as much you'd need to, at a time you want to. More than that though, you deserve being gentle towards yourself as you navigate through these thoughts and more. ❤
Awww that's really heart warming to hear, Soul, I don't have a lot of words to describe how touched I'm feeling hehe, specially with the "Like a balm for people's souls" that's honestly one of the most amazing set of words I've ever read, and that being said for me, is uhhh *melts*. 🤧 Thank*you* for being *you*, honored and grateful equally. ❤
Andddd we gotttaaa do something about that :o sun thrives on pizza 🤭🙈
*noms pizza, icecream and cookies, shares with soul*
*big hugs back* 🤗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Not late at all. We don't work with time constraints here :) ❤️
Tbh - I've been trying to just let it go because it seems sort of stupid to still be stuck on those words for so long. I mean seriously I had to gather as much courage as I could to keep writing about this here. They're just words. Worse has been heard and I'm not trying to upset or hurt this person by continuing to talk about it - I'm really just trying to work through it - it just seems to take me so long to work through things :/ which is beyond frustrating some days
I wish I could yeet them myself. I know its not normal to hold such strong negative emotions towards yourself but I also know alot of people have this trouble too. One day we'll get there - I'm hoping anyway. I don't want to spend the next sixty years feeling this way
It's wonderful to read your words to people. They're so warm and encouraging. I hope that you too get back what you give to others ❤️
So in honor of pizza - cookies and ice cream - I found this! It's called pizookie lol
The sugar rush would be amazing!
@mytwistedsoul
Aww hehe thankyou so much! 😅
It is indeed frustrating to work through difficult feelings and when it seems like it's taking more time than it should, it gets more annoying, however something worth mentioning here is that, there shouldn't be any "should" with working through things or having feelings, it is okay to work with them at your pace. Somethings are better to let go of, since holding onto them just provides more stress and hurt, again, easier said than done, for it's certainly not easy to simply let things go, I hear you're trying to, and that is more than enough for this time. You are certainly not alone, Soul, "just words" too wander deep in our mind sometimes and it gets extremely difficult trying to let go of them, to err is to be a human hehe, to feel is to be a human, it is okay to feel as you do. I hope one for that one day too, we got this hehe!
Aww that's extremely kind of you, many many thanks, it means *soooo* much to me.🤧 ❤Omigosh it looks absolutely tempting Haha, soooo love it, the sugar rush would be amazing indeed lol, thankyou for looking it up, love me a pizzookie! xD *shares with you and nomss*
@mytwistedsoul
Maybe ill see you in rooms soon?
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sure! Which one do you usually go to?
The brahmas are little any more :/ they'll soon be four months old
Hedwig and Tweety
finished the book nook. The flowers are a morning glory and the newest lily addition - Nightrider
@mytwistedsoul
Cool
@mytwistedsoul
:0 turtleeeeeeeeee 🐢
@emotionalTalker2260 It didn't want the strawberry 😕😋
@mytwistedsoul
silly turtle 😶
@emotionalTalker2260 Ikr!? What's wrong with turtles theses days? 😕
@mytwistedsoul
😕😕😕 shove the strawberry in the turtles mouth.. maybe it wants to be force fed 😆 (actually don’t.. just kidding 😭)
@mytwistedsoul
Psst.. are you up?
@emotionalTalker2260 lol! First thought was - wow that escalated quickly! 😛
@mytwistedsoul
lollllll 😆
@sunshinegiraffe123 aww sorry I missed you! I took the dog out and went to bed 😕
@mytwistedsoul
are you up now?
@sunshinegiraffe123 yep just doing some chores
What's up?
@mytwistedsoul
can you pop in general support for a few?
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sat there and waited - said you were there but nobody said anything
@mytwistedsoul
Are you able to come into trauma support possibly?
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'll need a few minutes to clean up and dry off but sure I can come in
@mytwistedsoul
ok
@mytwistedsoul
hey are you around
@sunshinegiraffe123 I am now :)
@mytwistedsoul
hey
Question - I've been informed that members arent allowed to offer or recieve support from other members. Isn't that the whole purpose of this site?
@mytwistedsoul
Informed through, Soul? (For instance is there a forum thread or guideline backing this)
I don't think that's correct though, have never heard of this. It's a peer-to-peer space, and you're right, members too supporting each other is allowed (and certainly should be). ❤
What I imagine might be the confusion here, *potentially* would perhaps be about listeners seeking support when they are on their listener account? This is something ofcourse not allowed. To demarcate boundaries between a listener and member account. (They'd need to switch to their member account for personal/ emotional support, yes)
I'd tag a leader who'd back us on this, but since it's your personal thread, I don't want to. ❤ I'll however ask around and communicate, if I can get more information on the same.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou It was a teen listener. I had replied to a member about how there are alot of understanding and supportive people here and said that I was willing to talk with this person on that thread if they were comfortable with it
The listener said *Hi! It's so nice of you offering to help another member but unfortunately members cannot provide/offer support to another member.*
I can provide a link to the thread if it's ok and you'd like to see it
After two separate incidents with people - the first - well - that's allready here lol. The second was also on some else's thread a person saying some really horrible things to this person 😞 so in the spirit of that this is the song for today
@mytwistedsoul
hey
*brings in cheese for the mice gods* and some for @mytwistedsoul cheers ! 🧀
Hope you are well ❤️
Sending love
@ferventflame *gasp!* Flame! Omg how are you? Haven't seen you in what feels like forever! I'm so happy to see you!
This calls for a happy dance!
@mytwistedsoul
hi hi <3 i know its been couple of months, more than that even heh, how are you? i love your animal friends and plants omg, i dont know if you can see my excitement from here these things make me feel like a child 🥰🥰🥰🥰 but so beautiful hens and the turtle!!!!!!!!! i had a little one too but we later left him in the river too big for house haha, and the flowers are beautiful. Heh you live in a nature heaven! and the book street thing loooked amazing was it inspired by harry potter series? its so good i could never imagine to do carpentry!
Hope you are well sending you so much love and strength <3 you are always supporting users here, and its so kind, the way you do it!!! feels like someone definitely understands it, you know? sending lots of love to all your animal friends too <3333333333
@mytwistedsoul
sorry for the haphazard text :3 just got so excited to see the turtle and chickens
@ferventflame Flame! :) I can see the excitement lol - made me smile - Thank you ❤️
If you like nature - you'd love it here. The deer and birds are awesome to watch. Raccoons steal cat food off the porch. There's pileated woodpeckers that are big and kind of make me think of dinosaurs lol. Plus bears and coyotes and bobcats and owls! The owls are so cool to hear at night
I'm sorry you had to put your turtle outside. I guess some of them can get pretty big
The book nook is Diagon Alley :) it was a kit ordered from Amazon lol but the directions were in Japanese - so I was alittle surprised it turned out as good as it did tbh 😋
Thank you for the love and strength - we're sending some back to you along with some good vibes ❤️ Stay awesome Flame!
I'll have to get some more pictures of the chickens