In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

@NoneTheWiser Lol - not really. I haven't clue what I'm talking about. Had a delayed panic and post because I sound like a - well. - yeah - you know? I should censor better because what's in my head doesn't sound as good when it comes out my mouth lol

Sometimes I do stupid things to set off my anxiety - like open my mouth lol. Why do things allways sound better until you open your mouth?

Did you ever think you have things under control and then you lose your sh*t and have a panic attack and a small nuclear melt down over paper towels - of all things.

Enough enough - when is it enough?

Anxiety is - woo hoo crazy wild today. Thought it was dropping but - I think it may be worse - YAY ME!

Head wants to be super busy - words are a problems - thughts are - Idk - picture a bunch of gears - spinning madly - now put a wrench in there - slows it for a minute until the mental snaps and then they go crazy for awhile again

The whole time I'm writing this I'm hearing quiet - be quiet. Ssshhhh -

And the time - it moves without me - ya know? Hours lost and - I can't get them back but does it matter? Idk -

Sometimes it feel like life had decided to pick you to bully - you have good days and you're idk - skeptical but sort of hopeful because - well - good day - yeah? Then here come's life - bom boom - ta da! What are you doing tiny mortal? *flick* And you're knocked on your ass. Sitting there wondering wtf just happened. You sit there for awhile - licking your wounds - poking bruises - thinking you should just stay down because then maybe it won't knock you on your ass again. The sad thing is - speaking of asses - yours has just started to fall asleep because of - well the ground is hard and you were just knock rather unceramoniously onto your ass - so what do you do? You can't sit there forever can you? Your ass says you're going to have to do something - probably pretty soon - Lol - I want to say just lay back - idk -ugh

Random thoughts -

She's a vulture picking our remains

Save your hymns for the dead

If this is all a dream - when TF did I fall asleep?

Crimson Calligraphy

I heard the froggies - J :) They better get their coats ready - they want it cold this weekend again

Hmm- getting spacy now

@mytwistedsoul

Many very relatable memes. I don't think I'm a people. and I definitely agree with the seal.

@NoneTheWiser The little owl looks seriously ticked and the chickadee - you wanna go? LOL!

Alittle stressed - ok maybe alittle more then alittle. Wasn't too bad until we hit the store - wasn't expecting so many people. Definitely not a usual Friday morning. It's normally pretty quiet around here but it seems this virus has even the sleepy hill people alittle riled. Tbh - it was amazing to see the shelves so bare. Stopped at the closest Lowes and got two blueberry bushes. The garden area was nice and peaceful. Seems noone is thinking about planting things - they're too worried whether they have enough tp. Some deep breathing and then checkout - then home. Yay - felt like we were gone for days. Even the dogs seemed to think so.

Kind of doesn't help that today is Friday the Thirteenth - booga booga.

Trying to find away to deal - handle - cope - make peace - whatever you want to call it - with the Red Queen. Her unwillingness to talk to Doc Z and the things she's been saying to some of us has him alittle on edge. We have tried begging - pleading - and even bribery. Nothing

It's really hard when there are things you want to talk about but can't find the words for. I think sometimes - Idk - we're afraid to say what we're thinking outloud. Maybe because they sound so harsh to our own ears. Maybe we're afraid to speak them because to say them outloud - gives them life - makes them true. But to not speak them - Idk - they're like a sickness I guess. They poison us from the inside. Make us feel - like we're bad people. But - Idk - I don't think bad people feel that they're bad people. So how do you get or give permission to yourself to speak? It's your story to tell - yeah? Who better to tell your story - then you? But damn - those words - elusive

Type - delete - Lol what was I saying about those words? *sigh and a huff* Don't leave in a huff - leave in a minute and a huff

Ya know what? Rats in hats - lol

Check it - lol - there's a J on there! :D

@mytwistedsoul

The J superrat, I love it :)

- I hope the Red Queen will finally talk to Dc Z... Maybe partly it depends on him, if he can find a way to make her feel safe... -

Let's look at this realistically - reality is no fun

I never said it was fun - well you suck too

there was a worm called castle smasher in the Kingdom of Faraway but he never smashed any castles because he was a excavator by day. He helped make condos for carrots and plazas for peas

What do you see from where you are? What is your perspective? What are your thoughts? I know you have them. I see you silently chew your words. Your tongue can be a traitorous thing. It betrays you by speaking the truth. It wants to speak what's in your soul but Brain with all its trip wires and snares, it's landmines and traps will stop at all most nothing. The terminator of brains. Unstoppable, unreasonable. Reprogram me to hush my brain.

Brain does have an idea of what's right though. It recognizes the truth. But the facts don't measure up. So Brain chugs along getting more and more bogged down until.....

We blow a fuse (pop)

Get a flashlight :)

@mytwistedsoul

Reprograming you will lose you as a friend...I wish someday we can have a fun fuse blowing session together...pop-pop..😊🤗🐭🐁🐀

@OldSerendipityBoat We would probably blow the grid in a few city blocks :)

@mytwistedsoul

Yea we wil😂😂😂😁😀😊🤗

Certaibly indeed...

in the end we say nothing

@mytwistedsoul nervous🐾

@mytwistedsoul

"In the end we say nothing"...i like this...

Sleep? What's that?

@mytwistedsoul

No kidding

@mytwistedsoul I shall show you the rarrs 🤗😚

I don't have many words right now but would like to leave you a safe hug if that's ok with you ❤️

@crimsonLime6525 Thank you Lime :)

Feeling slightly sick to my stomach. IDk - there's just so much I don't understand. Maybe it's my own fault and I just don't want to. They say ignorance is bliss - so I should be a happy sob

Kind of feels like a hoodie day - maybe some sunglasses - I can't even meet my own eyes in the mirror let alone anyone elses

Feeling alittle self destructive - watchful and wary

I suppose I should go find something to do - staring at this screen isn't getting anything done

The sound of your voice is haunting me - whisper all of your lies in my ear

F**K it - final words before posting

@mytwistedsoul

Many people care about you Soul, alot...

@OldSerendipityBoat That's what they say but in all honesty - I have a hard time believing it sometimes

@OldSerendipityBoat true words

Freaking anxiety. Could you image if we could just have our thoughts appear on the screen? Scary thought lol

Kind of got that can't catch your breath thing going. Knees weak - palms sweaty - heart racing. Crap - I'm an Eminem song.

Type amd delete the rest lol

@mytwistedsoul please don't ok I may need this as a distraction. To talk to myself so to speak -lol - punny

It smothers you. The anxiety. Steals your breath. Steals your voice. Makes you mute. Fools you. Like depression. Tricksters. The coyote of emotions. Hush. No one needs to hear. Be silent. No one cares. Be quiet. You deserve this. Shut up. This is your own fault. I am the liar that's been pushed in your head

I f**king hate being like this. Freaking nervous Nate all the damn time

@mytwistedsoul I wish I could have the power to fix you...😔😔😔...

Try to be meaner than your anxieties and laugh at them, be badder then the baddest devil...

Why do you think the reaper is afraid and shy to dance with me?

You are a spadasin mouse whom Aslan chose to walk with him and show him his worlds...

You are strong and you took a stance against me when I was crazy and also clung to me to not self terminate mylself on 7cups...I will never forget when you and Wiser did your best for me not to lose my mind...I will never forget your help and you and Wiser shall have my gratitude forever...

@OldSerendipityBoat Thank you :) In all honesty I have always admired your fighting spirit and confidence.

@mytwistedsoul

You fought hard alongside me when they took the feed feature away from you. I was proud of you expressing your feelings of being robbed of smth good...

You are here for ages, a pillar on 7cups so trust yourself and have pride in that honorable, brave, helpful mouse...

@mytwistedsoul

🍀

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1bhQ3M5mtw

@NoneTheWiser Gotta raise up that fighting spirit - yeah? We are the warriors - we have to be. Noone else will fight our wars - they can help. But we have to fight first. Its only right that we should have that first - hit. We earned it

If I could hold on to that fighting spirit - then I'd have it made lol

@NoneTheWiser Awesome! You're right :) Strength in numbers. Many hands make heavy work light

@NoneTheWiser

300 Spartans kept at at bay a million of persian armies...

@OldSerendipityBoat 300 that was an excellent movie