In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

@intelligentWheel627

Ehm... intruding... sorry...

Just wanted to say that I love to imagine you in that Superman pose... You do have a Superman inside you Rinny, a Superman that you can try and summon when the darkness wants to come back.

* hugging you *

@admaiorasemper

That's a wonderful idea! You could try it with me! Two Supermen in their Ferraris. We could pull off a few tricks, who needs the brakes?! ;)

I was looking for you, V. I'm glad that you found me first! The forum world is complicated and confusing. I think I was tagged somewhere but I didn't have the time to reply immediately and then I lost the post. Somewhere. I must admit that I'm technologically challenged. 🙈

I'm sorry for writing wrong things in the wrong places and littering other people's threads with my blah blah. 👀

*hugs you back tightly and doesn't let go until she's counted to twenty five*

@intelligentWheel627

Here we are :)

This forum is tecnologically challenging, especially when you access it through the app!

I don't think you say wrong things in the wrong places

@admaiorasemper

ROFL! I was just wondering if a picture of it exists and you've found it! This is so perfect, haha! 🤣 You do have superpowers! 🤩

It'll be a while before I'll learn to post pics here to reciprocate. A day or two or a year, lol. Patience please. 😋

Thank you for making my day! 🥰

@intelligentWheel627 Hey Rinny - It's ok to not know how you are - alot of times I don't know either.

That sounds really nice - flying kites at the beach and watching the sun set. I got a laugh out of the superman pose - I finished it up with sound effects lol - da da da da da DAH!

Um - I hope the gif's ok with you. I'm sorry if it isn't - if it isn't please let me know so I don't do it again.

I'm - Idk either lol. Thank you for asking though.

Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts

@mytwistedsoul

The gif is perfect, Soul and so are the sound effects! 😃

I practiced it out loud a few times, lol!

Thank you for brightening up the day once again. <3

"Artistry"

I let every thought
Thread a weft of yarn
Weaving through the warps
A tapestry of us

If I make my arms, the home you seek
If I sway my brush, would I capture thee?
If I hang your scars, in a gallery
As a work of artistry

May I clear your slate and wipe your conscience
Lay it on another shelf
I'll be anything you ever ask
I'll take your memories upon myself
If you keep my thoughts and thieve my wisdom
I will find another shell
I don't ever want to be the selfish reason
You don't ever find yourself

I felt every thought
Claw the strands apart
Weaving into knots
A travesty of us

If I stay my arms, and I pull your sleeve
If I snap my brush, would you trust in me?
If I trace your scars, with the broken piece
As a work of artistry

May I clear your slate and wipe your conscience
Lay it on another shelf
I'll be anything you ever ask
I'll take your memories upon myself
If you keep my thoughts and thieve my wisdom
I will find another shell
I don't ever want to be the selfish reason
You don't ever find yourself

Watching the needle thread through every pore
She told me shading made everything more
Beautiful but I don't see it at all
I'm more deranged than before
Standing in paints as it pools on the ground
Colours of empathy blending with doubt
Witnessing everything melting around
Until I drown

May I clear your slate and wipe your conscience
Lay it on another shelf
I'll be anything you ever ask
I'll take your memories upon myself
If you keep my thoughts and thieve my wisdom
I will find another shell
I don't ever want to be the selfish reason
You don't ever find yourself

May I clear your slate and wipe your conscience
Lay it on another shelf
I'll be anything you ever ask
I'll take your memories upon myself
If you keep my thoughts and thieve my wisdom
I will find another shell
I don't ever want to be the selfish reason
You don't ever find yourself

Another one bites the dust

What don't you like about yourself? How 'bout EVERYTHING? It's ok though - it really is

@mytwistedsoul a feeling I understand all too well, is it ok if I sit with you too?

@mytwistedsoul

* sits here quietly * i am sorry i cannot find words today

@mytwistedsoul

I'm here, too if I may. * keeps a hug ready in case you need one*

@mytwistedsoul

Sitting with you ❤️

@calmLake1999 Thank you Calm

@NoneTheWiser
@crimsonLime6525
@admaiorasemper
@intelligentWheel627

Thank you all for sitting here with me - I'm sorry - I shouldn't have said anything - I didn't mean to have you all feel like you have to . Idk -

@mytwistedsoul

J... I think we all care about you deeply and this is why we are here for you... It is not a "I have to be here"... It is a "I want to be here"...

@admaiorasemper Thank you V - I have to be honest - I so want to tell you not to care - ya know? *even though I said it anyway*

Thank you

@mytwistedsoul

You absolutely have the right to tell me whatever you want J

I have the right not to listen to you

@admaiorasemper Lol - you're right

@mytwistedsoul

[I meant those words in a very respectful way, you know that right?]

@admaiorasemper I do - no worries V - no offense taken

@mytwistedsoul I can't speak for the others but I want to sit with you, kinda helps me not be alone if you know what I mean

@crimsonLime6525 I do know what you mean Lime - thank you

@NoneTheWiser Thank you - it could be - Idk - I'm sorry

@NoneTheWiser I've got to stop letting the snow pile up!

sometimes maybe we ask the right questions - maybe the wrong ones. idk

anxiety - wow rock rock side to side. mind wants to go blank

hands don't want to cooperate

sshh

theres a memory elusive i try to pushcloser but you just can't reach it4

it's so blurry no clarity to I t can't see

it taunts and then fade

nervous

@mytwistedsoul

Sitting with you and offering hugs & support 💖🧡💛💚💜💙

@tinycactus809 @NoneTheWiser Thank you

What's on your mind J?

Probably be easier to say what I'm not thinking. I'm npt thinking waffles. Well ok I wasn't. - now I am. Yeah I know make jokes. Deflection

Emotions hit pretty hard at one point. A break in the Levy. I can only lock this sh*t down for so long before it starts to leak out. Freaking radioactive toxic sh*t these emotions. Healthy? H*'ll no - I know it isn't but.I can't seem to stop doing it. Either lost on the grey or numb. I can feel it coming on sometimes - that slow slide into nothing. Functioning? Meh - could be doing better. I know I should fight harder. But d*MN I am so freaking tired - but so restless. Your skeleton wants to escape it trapping. Urges? Oh man - even now - it's there.

I'm drawn to darkness - the darker more morbid side of things. It's not something I show alot or to alot of people. But sometimes it slips out too. Do I feel that way ? Honestly? Yes - some days I do. I can honestly say there's day I don't want to be here anymore.

D*mn I still miss the feed. Seemed so much more private. Able to hide things better. Lost my invisibility cloak - hell I'm not even sure where the unicorns are. Probably looking for C.

@mytwistedsoul every single one of these I understand, thinking of you (you can tell me to stop posting if you want to, I will understand)

@crimsonLime6525 I know you understand and I'm so sorry that you do. I wish you didn't feel the same. It so confusing isn't it? The emotions - how you can go from being so empty and hollowed out one moment and so overwhelmed in the next moment. It's kind of what the time turns into - moments. Not hours or days but moments. It sucks - sorry. It's frustrating.

I don't mind at all that you're here Lime. I'm happy to see your name here.

Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts

What's on your mind J?

I still don't think you should be able to feel more then - let's go with two things at once. I have two hands so I can handle two things. Well- even that could be pushing it.

I can't listen to music yet. It was so bad today when I turned it on - man oh man. The funny thing is - I can hear music in my head - loud enough I can make out the words and I'm fine with it.

I'm tired - beyond tired. Eyes are gritty - just wore out. Tbh - I'm npt sure of there was any sleep. I don't remember gpong to bed and I don't remember waking up. Did finally eat something - I don't think we had anything yesterday. Maybe - Idk.

Haven't worked on anything - but I have stared at it pretty hard.

No details - but therea temptation. Even with shaving - intrusive thoughts - hard to walk away.

Anxious - depressed - frustrated - kind of snarky - kind of angry. Sad - And the crying! Holy sh*t! Just boom there it is. I think these levies need better concrete or something. Cause it's not holding up.

Is this what insanity is like? How it feels?

Idk - sometimes - it feels like none of this is real and it sure as he'll doesn't belong to me. Because - I want a refund. Let me level up or something. Something has to give eventually - doesn't it. Is there like a law of average or what ever? Like after so much shit you get something right even if it's by chance?

Get the manual for this thing - the dummy edition

@mytwistedsoul

I haven't seen the manual anywhere, I heard it's in the process of being published

@ThePizza They might be writing it out by hand - boy they're slow!

Chinese New Year is today-- Year of the Rat