In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
Pissed
Beyond pissed
Can I?
Yes please
Oh yeah the things I'd like to say
But take a deep breath instead
Our humanity is tearing at the seams
Why?
Was it time? Did you pick a familiar face? What you thought was safe space? Do you like to break things? But yet - I'm the whiner?
Birds of a feather - you miserable fuck.
God D*MN it! WTF - preacher man? So quick to point out everyone else's flaws and say they're waiting their life. But you know nothing of anyone else's life - so who the fuck are you. You can't even see your own flaws because you buried them under a mountain of bullshit stories to make you feel good about yourself. Delusions of grandeur. Self important - over inflated fucking ego maniac.
@mytwistedsoul
Hi Soul, sitting with you.. are you ok? I'm here for you
@calmLake1999 Hey Calm -thank you
I must warn you though - I'm having some issues with anger. Just - people - ya know? it's not the first time with this one - it won't be the last. It makes me sick - the constant BS that comes with it. I'm tired of having to be understanding to someone who feels it's ok to hurt people - for what ever reason. IDk - I'm probably not making too much sense
@mytwistedsoul
It's ok soul, I'm still sitting with you. I think it's ok to be angry, I don't understand why people hurt others and I don't think it should be accepted for some to be hurting others just cause. I don't think you need to be understanding but I'm not sure what it is either. You are making sense. Can we maybe take a few breaths together?
@calmLake1999 Breathing with you
@mytwistedsoul
I'm here with you.. ❤️
@calmLake1999 I just - why he feels it's ok to just - I mean - he attacks people and there's never any real reason -
Poor Wise - He's gone after her so many times - stolen her name - her avatar. He's cruel - I just don't understand why he feels he needs to or why he would even want to
@mytwistedsoul
I'm a little more caught up now so I have an understanding, a little anyways. I think some people get joy from hurting others, it's like they are fulfilling some sort of emptiness from within. It's never ok and its just so wrong of people to do that. I don't understand why people lash out. I'm so sorry that you and Wize have both been attacked by this person, I am here for you both. ❤️
@calmLake1999 Everytime - he offers a weak apology afterwards - some excuse - thinks he can justify it. Thinks it's what friends do to each other
I know we all have our own problems but - we don't take them out on others - we aren't - you can't be cruel
@mytwistedsoul
I think there is no excuse or apology that can help mend the pain he has caused there. Friends, real friends don't hurt each other. We are all here cause we are hurting but I've never seen anyone else lash out and hurt others that way with their words. It just makes me consider the idea that somehow he enjoys upsetting people, and now I feel bad for talking like that but I just don't think there is any excuse for it
@calmLake1999 Once I can maybe see - without thinking - you might say something you can't take back. But when it happens time and time again
How many times are you supposed to let it go? When do you get to say enough? But how do you stop it? Here anyway? When this is supposedly a safe place
Sorry - questions
@mytwistedsoul
That's very true. I don't have the answers to those questions, personally I think if someone keeps on hurting people maybe there is no forgiving, I don't think they truly want forgiveness, I think they want reaction, they want to pull people in only to hurt again. Please don't apologize I can understand that you are hurting right now. It's very cruel what this person has said to you and Wize and I'm assuming others.
And it is far too easy for people to keep coming back onto this site. It is supposed to be a safe space, it's supposed to be where people can come to speak without judgement, but unfortunately I think there are people who come on here to prey on those who are already hurting.
@calmLake1999 Thank you - for sitting with me
I agree - there comes a point where you have to just walk away. You can only forgive something so many times
I think I was more hurt for the others he was cruel to. Tbh - what he says about me doesn't even matter. It's not any worse then anything I've allready thought
Idk - I think they do need to figure something out for the repeat offenders - especially if they're going to keep coming back just to hurt people
Thank you - I appreciate you sitting with me. I'm feeling alittle calmer at the moment
To whom it may concern:
There comes a point in time when you must admit you crossed the line one too many times. Despite your thinking, people will draw away from something that bites or snaps at them constantly. We as people come in many flavors. Some are more sensitive, while others are stronger. Regardless, we all deserve decency and respect. Your actions and words say much more about you then the people you point your finger at. You can't beat your chest and then cry victim at the bruises you made yourself. Not when so many people saw you do it.
You see people as pawns in your little head games. You yourself said it's entertaining. Perhaps this give you the illusion of control. I hate to tell you son, but this horse has left the barn and you don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of catching it. And you have no one to blame but yourself. You should have spared the whip and used the sugar cubes. Now the barn is empty and there is nothing but the sound of silence.
There's a saying: You don't shit where you sleep. Seems applicable I think.
Headache - aggressive - depressed
I probably shouldn't re-read things. Just makes me notice things more. The more I notice - the more I overthink and of course - the more questions I have. Most of them seem to revolve around the word why. Idk - there's alot of things I don't understand when it comes to people. Idk - maybe there aren't any answers. Maybe people just suck. Not all people - just most. I don't understand the head games. I don't understand the need for them. I don't understand people changing the rules. The Queen is like. Just when you thought you had things figured out - the rules would change. With the rule changes - the whole game would change. Changes keep things off balance. Changes meant you were bound to screw up. Screw ups were costly. I guess that's why we still look for punishment when we screw up now
Oh wow - just got hit with a memory
@mytwistedsoul
Being at sea it is wobbly, you cannot find your safety equilibrium...you were affected by the loss of the feed and I was not because I learned to detach and adapt, yes, it was smth bad but not the first or last bad thing life throws your way...
Getting off ballance and asking why is normal....you and Wiser have friends to summon when in need, I have to go through difficult times alone...
You lost your compass too finally...
So much I could say but as our "friend" pointed out - we're never right.
I will apologize for the crudeness - I'm Sorry
I've been trying to watch what's said - mindfulness - ya know?
I'll pay for it - don't worry about that
Good thing we have someone here to help point out all our wrong doings
@mytwistedsoul
I am sitting here with you and I honestly think there is nothing you have to pay for. Devotion and dedication, we ultimately own them to ourselves only.
I am glad I have seen K around and I find he has good vibes around him.
@mytwistedsoul
I don't think you have anything to apologise for Soul.. sitting with you ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Echoing the rest, you haven't done anything that I feel you need to apologize for. I read what was written last night and honestly there's nothing wrong with it considering how the person in questions tries to target us and drive us until exploding at him so he can pull his "pity me" act. It's sad the site won't do anything about him.
@mytwistedsoul
Hey soul, just checking in with you, hope your doing ok ❤️
Thank you to everyone
There's a saying that keeps going through my head -
There are none so blind as those who can't see. I'm not even sure if it's an actual saying.
Idk - I feel - sorry for this person. Guess maybe that sounds weird. I'm not even sure if I can explain it. Thoughts are all over and I'm having a hard time focusing.
I feel bad that they're suffering. I feel bad that they things they say they want - compassion - understanding and friendship have been offered so many times. But he uses that against people. I feel sorry for them that they figure that their pain gives them license to just cause as much damage as they want and they can get away with it. There's consequences for your actions - ya know?
And questions - oh man do I have questions
But some of them aren't so nice. Idk - brain needs more coffee or Idk - just a bad connection
Thoughts thoughts and more thoughts.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. You get what you give. You reap what you sow. We can even get biblical about it - do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Oh man - the thoughts. Values - irrational moods -
Manners - I always thoughts manners was just being polite. We had no desire to crush anyone - well ok maybe one of us did. It's kind of hard to hold that part back. He has thoughts of his own but his teeth are bared so - Idk - he likes it too much
