In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
Pissed
Beyond pissed
Can I?
Yes please
Oh yeah the things I'd like to say
But take a deep breath instead
Our humanity is tearing at the seams
Why?
Was it time? Did you pick a familiar face? What you thought was safe space? Do you like to break things? But yet - I'm the whiner?
Birds of a feather - you miserable fuck.
God D*MN it! WTF - preacher man? So quick to point out everyone else's flaws and say they're waiting their life. But you know nothing of anyone else's life - so who the fuck are you. You can't even see your own flaws because you buried them under a mountain of bullshit stories to make you feel good about yourself. Delusions of grandeur. Self important - over inflated fucking ego maniac.
@mytwistedsoul
Hi Soul, sitting with you.. are you ok? I'm here for you
@calmLake1999 Hey Calm -thank you
I must warn you though - I'm having some issues with anger. Just - people - ya know? it's not the first time with this one - it won't be the last. It makes me sick - the constant BS that comes with it. I'm tired of having to be understanding to someone who feels it's ok to hurt people - for what ever reason. IDk - I'm probably not making too much sense
@mytwistedsoul
It's ok soul, I'm still sitting with you. I think it's ok to be angry, I don't understand why people hurt others and I don't think it should be accepted for some to be hurting others just cause. I don't think you need to be understanding but I'm not sure what it is either. You are making sense. Can we maybe take a few breaths together?
To whom it may concern:
There comes a point in time when you must admit you crossed the line one too many times. Despite your thinking, people will draw away from something that bites or snaps at them constantly. We as people come in many flavors. Some are more sensitive, while others are stronger. Regardless, we all deserve decency and respect. Your actions and words say much more about you then the people you point your finger at. You can't beat your chest and then cry victim at the bruises you made yourself. Not when so many people saw you do it.
You see people as pawns in your little head games. You yourself said it's entertaining. Perhaps this give you the illusion of control. I hate to tell you son, but this horse has left the barn and you don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of catching it. And you have no one to blame but yourself. You should have spared the whip and used the sugar cubes. Now the barn is empty and there is nothing but the sound of silence.
There's a saying: You don't shit where you sleep. Seems applicable I think.
Headache - aggressive - depressed
I probably shouldn't re-read things. Just makes me notice things more. The more I notice - the more I overthink and of course - the more questions I have. Most of them seem to revolve around the word why. Idk - there's alot of things I don't understand when it comes to people. Idk - maybe there aren't any answers. Maybe people just suck. Not all people - just most. I don't understand the head games. I don't understand the need for them. I don't understand people changing the rules. The Queen is like. Just when you thought you had things figured out - the rules would change. With the rule changes - the whole game would change. Changes keep things off balance. Changes meant you were bound to screw up. Screw ups were costly. I guess that's why we still look for punishment when we screw up now
Oh wow - just got hit with a memory
@mytwistedsoul
Being at sea it is wobbly, you cannot find your safety equilibrium...you were affected by the loss of the feed and I was not because I learned to detach and adapt, yes, it was smth bad but not the first or last bad thing life throws your way...
Getting off ballance and asking why is normal....you and Wiser have friends to summon when in need, I have to go through difficult times alone...
You lost your compass too finally...
@driftingship Have you asked yourself why you're going through things alone? I would think you have the answer to that.
While we can speak our minds to our friends and often tell them our darkest secrets, it's bad form to tell your friends to fuck off or piss off or to insult them and call them shallow. If you don't want to deal with anyone when you're in your moods, then you be the one to step back. You don't go looking for them to be your punching bag.
It's bad form to attack someone over the fact that they had children and you didn't.
It's bad form to tell them that they shouldn't be dumping their problems on you.
It's bad form to tell someone how to raise children when you've never raised any of your own.
It's bad form to never have the decency to say you're sorry and actually mean it. If you did then perhaps you would have learned a lesson from it and treated your friends better. You can't sucker punch people and then claim to be the victim of bullying and people ganging up on you.
You can claim what ever you want as a cause for your actions but at some point you have to be a man and hold yourself accountable for what you did.
Wolves are loyal. You have no sense of loyalty to anyone except yourself and maybe a few chosen ones who will stroke your ego. And you say we're shallow....
@mytwistedsoul
It is bad form to put down someone in need...You just did what I did...thinking you were putting me down or that I ever cared...I am way older than you Soul and went through much abuse, you are shallow minds and souls both of you, playing in the shallows, never in the deep, the deep always scares you, the core of human value, you stop at your own ego and respect and that is your narrow world, never confident enough to go beyound that thinking that things are not about you but about someone else...some day you will learn to shed your egos like lobsters shed their carapace...you will come to a higher understanding and more self confidence in that..
@mytwistedsoul
See Soul, Wiser has kids and understans about irrational moods...say you have a crooked child like me, how would you proceed...
It is not lectures that we need Soul, but genuine simple suport...harsh things do not choose friends, but friends choose to help in harsh circumstances...remember about "shallow" and think deep...if you ever can...
@driftingship Typical answer from you. We should all see things your way. It would make everyone's life so much easier. Then you wouldn't feel you have to school all us dumb folk. It's ok for you to lecture people though right? You can lecture everyone on what they should and should 't do but you are too close minded to admit or even see what you should do. I guess what they say is true - it takes a big person to admit they're wrong. It takes a big person to hold themselves accountable and say they're sorry. Too bad you aren't a bigger person.
Another why for you.... Of all the things you claimed to have done why did you never learn any manners?
So much I could say but as our "friend" pointed out - we're never right.
I will apologize for the crudeness - I'm Sorry
I've been trying to watch what's said - mindfulness - ya know?
I'll pay for it - don't worry about that
Good thing we have someone here to help point out all our wrong doings
@mytwistedsoul
I am sitting here with you and I honestly think there is nothing you have to pay for. Devotion and dedication, we ultimately own them to ourselves only.
I am glad I have seen K around and I find he has good vibes around him.
@mytwistedsoul
I don't think you have anything to apologise for Soul.. sitting with you ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Echoing the rest, you haven't done anything that I feel you need to apologize for. I read what was written last night and honestly there's nothing wrong with it considering how the person in questions tries to target us and drive us until exploding at him so he can pull his "pity me" act. It's sad the site won't do anything about him.
@mytwistedsoul
Hey soul, just checking in with you, hope your doing ok ❤️
Thank you to everyone
There's a saying that keeps going through my head -
There are none so blind as those who can't see. I'm not even sure if it's an actual saying.
Idk - I feel - sorry for this person. Guess maybe that sounds weird. I'm not even sure if I can explain it. Thoughts are all over and I'm having a hard time focusing.
I feel bad that they're suffering. I feel bad that they things they say they want - compassion - understanding and friendship have been offered so many times. But he uses that against people. I feel sorry for them that they figure that their pain gives them license to just cause as much damage as they want and they can get away with it. There's consequences for your actions - ya know?
And questions - oh man do I have questions
But some of them aren't so nice. Idk - brain needs more coffee or Idk - just a bad connection
Thoughts thoughts and more thoughts.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. You get what you give. You reap what you sow. We can even get biblical about it - do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Oh man - the thoughts. Values - irrational moods -
Manners - I always thoughts manners was just being polite. We had no desire to crush anyone - well ok maybe one of us did. It's kind of hard to hold that part back. He has thoughts of his own but his teeth are bared so - Idk - he likes it too much
