In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

@mytwistedsoul I can't remember the age you have to be to create a teen account.....but honestly, most people know curse words by hell junior high. So I don't personally get the big deal on some words. Maybe some very derogatory terms, sure, maybe they shouldn't be allowed......but most, why not let them be there if we want to use them?

@Dawn04 I guess though the adult thing would be not to cuss so much - allthough I kind of see it that sometimes my life calls for the liberal use of the f word. Sentence enhancers lol!

@mytwistedsoul Ah trust me, outside of 7Cups, I'm worse than a sailor.

@mytwistedsoul

Sometimes if I know the censor might cancel my post I copy it before I post so I can paste and edit it if needed. But yeah probably not practical when youre not expecting the censor to catch anything. Idk

@ThePizza @NoneTheWiser This really is a good idea. One I should probably start using.

@mytwistedsoul

I honestly really hate that thing...awesome music by the way 🙂

Hey everyone - Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

https://vocaroo.com/absIMtm1yuC

So I did this thing - And Well - feel free to laugh. It's kind of stupid probably but I really can't sing. So um - be gentle - maybe keep any mean comments to yourself - Lol!

Let's have some post and panic

@mytwistedsoul I straight up chuckled at your story. I loved it! And I must echo Wiser, it was awesome to hear your voice.

@mytwistedsoul

Loved hearing your voice and your little laugh at the end! Concentration sucks so I couldn't focus on your words very well and I will have to listen to it again to grasp the story. But thank you :)

@mytwistedsoul

I liked the poem storry alot, super creative and original and you are a naturral narator with a calm, pleasant voice😊 Thank you!

A Very Merry Christmas to you too Soul!

@mytwistedsoul

Such a wonderful story! :) Thank you for sharing

@mytwistedsoul Let's turn 5 shades of red -

I'm glad you all liked it

@NoneTheWiser LOL! Thank you!

You know what would be a nice christmas present?

My Feed! LOL!

@mytwistedsoul

so true

Anxiety is kind of being a pita today - Shaky lol
Didn't realize how tense I was holding myself - until I went to move

Really distracted this afternoon - having a hard time keep track of my thoughts
having a hard time keeping track of myself. Just feel weird - sort of - Idk

Keep hearing someone yelling but it's muffled - sounds p*ssed though

Hmm - I need to go find something to do - preferably something constructive lol
Movement is good - ya know?

Wish me luck!

@mytwistedsoul

Yes, I wish you a truckload of good luck

Did you know that peanut containers actually contain peanuts? I know! Crazy right?!

Holy sh*t 3 hours

Can I be the monkey that has it's hands over it's mouth?
What if they aren't my hands? Maybe it's not even my mouth
Sometimes it doesn't even feel like this is my body.

Ever feel like - you start to reach your hand out to touch something but then pull back at the last second and then slink back into the shadows. Anxiety woohoo!

Drawing spiders - still feel the tip of the pen

Minutes of time lost in little blocks - lost in the nothing - no sound - no touch - no sight - no smell
Personal sensory deprivation tank
Hard to stay present

Mutated monster monkey
Sounds like it should be a band - Mutated Monster Monkey - singing Lost in the Nothing

Having a hard time with the fact it's thursday
Feels like the third monday this month
I suck - ya know? As a person - I really do
Behind this ratty grin lurks a wild animal - grrr

Seriously - I feel like maybe theres a double standard somewhere with me
All the talk - is bullsh*t - I don't do as I say

Kind of have some irrational anger - I think

@mytwistedsoul

Have you thought it might just be valour?🙄😶...

@greybones That's a nice word but no,I don't think it's valor. Stupidity maybe for not quitting.

Closet is getting full - too many skeletons

I don't trust myself - sometimes things change as they go from my thoughts to my fingers

Body feels tense all the time - always on guard - ready to defend

Arguing about seeing Doc Z today - do we really have to do this again?

Contemplating - valor - Idk - maybe

*sigh* thought thieves - thought insertion

Idk - RQ - if this isn't contagious - why are so many people around you f*cked up J? You're a curse - a plague- just spreading disease as you go. A darkness - christ don't you ever learn?

Have you got a penny for the wishing well? You're going to need a prayer right now

Stronger people perform better than weak
Stop eating my freaking wheaties then!
Canned spinach is gross

Still thinking about that person from yesterday - thinking how I would feel. How do you not think about that - did you giv a warning? Does it weigh on your mind - that they were looking for help and you kicked them out the door? Sorry - I seem to be doing some judging. And now I got executioners stuck in my head
F**K

@mytwistedsoul J. What the f*ck is wrong with you? Why do you listen to her? She lies, you know she does. Fuck! What am I allowed to say here? God damn you piss me off. You think everything is your fault. Do you have any idea how fucking stupid that is? This isn't the fucking butterfly effect.

@mytwistedsoul

Hi Soul, just wanted to let you know I'm sitting with you. Sending you some care if you would like, maybe it's time to finish the Harry Potter series? Idk.. I'm not great with words sometimes lol, I second guess what I write but just wanted to let you know I hear you and am sitting with you. Hope you are doing ok ❤️

@calmLake1999 Hey Calm - thank you. I'm ok at the moment - it changes to quickly tsometimes though - lol. How are you today?

@mytwistedsoul

I'm doing ok for the moment. It does change too quickly

I'd like to wake up now please.

Headache - tired - tense - angry - frustrated

Accomplished nothing this weekend

How many times can someone burn down a bridge before people decide not to cross it any more?
Too many contradictions Idk - I don't understand - I don't understand alot - Idk - shouldn't I be smarter now?

Sh*t

Distraction - diversionary tactics

Pay the toll to let it go

God - just shut up

Laughter is the best medicine unless it's aimed at you

Allways said I was a screw up - now you know

I'm tired of headaches - I'm tired of feeling anxious - tired of feeling depressed - tired of being afraid - tired of being tired. It's like I know all the words to the songs but it's all out of order - the words are right but the music is wrong. Idk - doesn't even make sense.
Sorry - not feeling very friendly towards myself right now. Sorry self - but I dgaf about you right now

Freaking moths to a flame. These thoughts right now. So desperate to come to the light. They kill themselves before they even come close. I kind of think I might be working myself up to a panic attack - feels like it. God what a moron you are J.

@mytwistedsoul

when every note comes out so wrong

it keeps on getting harder to remember

the melodies

or what they lyrics mean

Im tired of these feelings too— distracting myself too. Damn this whole day so far has been an attempt to distract myself.

Sitting with you J— lets take some breaths

@ThePizza I'm sorry M - I'm sorry you're having a bad day too and are having to distract.

Tbh - I'm trying to breath and it's just not working - nothing is working

Freaking hands

@mytwistedsoul

I am sitting here with you and breathing with you. I am thinking of filling the sink with cold water, the coldest possible, and then dive in for a few seconds and repeat. Would you do this with me J.?

@admaiorasemper Trying v

@mytwistedsoul

After a few minutes, we can do something different. We can count backwards starting from 100, and going -3 at each step, so 100, 97 and so on. If you speak another language, you could count in it. I'll do it in French.

@mytwistedsoul What the heck is a Glaoming?

@AlphaPheonix4720

gloam•ing glō′mĭng►

Twilight; dusk.

The fall of the evening as the time of dusk or gloom; the twilight.

2. Closing period; decline: as, the gloaming of life.

Not safe for others

@mytwistedsoul

I am thinking of you, I hope you are ok.

@admaiorasemper Things are fine. Thank you

@mytwistedsoul

I am glad they are <3. Will sit here for a little longer if you do not mind.