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In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

mytwistedsoul November 7th, 2019

With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.

A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.

While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.

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mytwistedsoul OP December 13th, 2019

Sometimes I wish that good fairy would come down and bop this field mouse on the head

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP December 13th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

It was the bunny bopping them on the head.... you twit.... not the good fairy.
Why are we singing this anyway?

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Carry on carry on! Nothing to see here! Rubber neckers :)

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mytwistedsoul OP December 16th, 2019

Kind of depressed

Having trouble with some words - either leaving them out or adding them in where they don't belong
H*ll some of them just don't look right.

Problems with concentration and focus

Urges yesterday

Idk - now I feel kind of anxious lol

Our mirage - Unseen

Alec Benjamin - Mind is a Prison

Thrice - Beyond the Pines

The Hu - Wolf Totem (w/ Jacoby Shaddix)

*place your mind right next to mine -
soon you'll see who lies inside.
Then you will know just what it's like-
to live as though you're cursed.*

Kind of funny - this post has been sitting here since 6 am this morning - waiting for me to hit the big blue button

8 replies
calmLake1999 December 17th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

Sitting with you.

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ThePizza December 17th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for sharing this music here. I can see you in each songβ€” like you should, with music. Wonderful choices, I love all of these (last one especially reminds me of R)

4 replies
mytwistedsoul OP December 17th, 2019

@ThePizza Thanks M - I'm glad you like them too. The last one is the best in my opinion.

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mytwistedsoul OP December 17th, 2019

Whiskey taste is on my breath
Part of me is scared to death
What if I told you the truth
But I chased it down with 90 proof.
One more sip for the tortured soul -

I don't understand why some people don't realize that they should tread alittle lighter around the teens. Why some people seems to find the people who are at their lowest and just push against their wounds harder. Bring it to someones attention and days pass and nothing is done. Seems cruel and lacks - compassion and concern.

Alittle emotional today - feeling sad - I feel like I'm looking for something but I have no idea what it is or where to find it. I hold in my hands a blank map and a broken compass and I'm a directional idiot

Twenty One Pilots - Ode to Sleep

Twenty One Pilots - Addict with a Pen

Shinedown - Monsters

Ded - Hate Me

1 reply
ThePizza December 18th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

I hope you found some water--- and that the sand turned to solid ground

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mytwistedsoul OP December 17th, 2019

Don't leave in a huff

Leave in a minute and a huff

mytwistedsoul OP December 17th, 2019

Supposedly this is the translation to The Hu - Wolf Totem
There was another translation but it involved blue manure so - LOL!
I'm seriously hoping this is right

They're Mongolian - Just a really awesome song -

The lion is in a bloody battle to the death
The tiger overcomes the leopard in a match
The elephant thrashes the leopard in a contest
Man intensely struggles with a leopard to contend

We, the lions slaughter the leopards in a match
The tiger beats the leopard in a contest
The elephant trounces the leopard in a fight
Man strenuously strains with a leopard in contention

An instigator, the jealousy of a snake it could be
And Khan Garuda leaps up above into the air
A growl, the jealousy of a tiger it could be
The blue wolf comes too from far away

Hu – hu – hu – hu…
Hu – hu – hu – hu…

Provoked, the snow leopard competes with its rivals

Ten thunderbolts strike at the same time
A hundred hearts energized in the thundering roar
Simultaneously a thousand colliding thunderbolts
And too, ten thousand lightning strikes in the heavens

Hu – hu – hu – hu…
Hu – hu – hu – hu…

This deluge is the leopard battling in a deadly fight
The surges of the leopard scuffling in competion
The awesome leopard swats, blows to overthrow
The glistening leopard slashes in the scramble

Hu – hu – hu – hu…
Hu – hu – hu – hu…

With the speed of the falcon advancing
The wolfs courage at times flaring up
The strength of horses hooves, their paces pounding
The mark of Genghis Khan, an overwhelming impression

1 reply
ThePizza December 18th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

Wow, that's such a cool thing they've written. Haha, yeah blue manure doesn't really fit here does it?

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mytwistedsoul OP December 18th, 2019

So how do we want to handle this J? Lion or lamb?

mytwistedsoul OP December 19th, 2019

I hold in my hands - my soul and my heart. Both fragile - both wounded and scarred
woven out of gossamer strands of glass - waiting to shatter

I feel I shouldn't have shared something here last night - I didn't think before I wrote - I just wanted it out
Now there's some regret for sharing that pain and I'm fighting the urge to withdraw

Cue the hoodie and sunglasses

Imminence - Erase

Imminence - A Mark On My Soul

Imminence - Scars

mytwistedsoul OP December 19th, 2019

Return to the scene - was anxious tbh - felt kind of surreal - A kid waiting for the monster to pop out
Got alittle emotional - felt alittle sick

Idk - did I do the right thing?

Kind of Idk - feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall - or should be

What are you the f*cking morality police J? What do you know about morals jacka**?

Feeling alittle angry - at myself - energy is - HOSTILE - put your teeth away
Idk - this is going to sound weird - but sometimes I feel like I'm trapped inside myself and I would chew my own arm or leg off to get out

It always feels like I'm just not handling things the right way - kind of like - hang on and give me a minute - I can f*ck this up worse.

mytwistedsoul OP December 20th, 2019

On my mind - Headache - tired

Don't remember much of yesterday - I think there was alot of dissociation going on

Automatic portable crepe makers - because apprently - you never know when you might want one

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train - just saying

Torn and undecided - seems kind of childish and stupid - should I or shouldn't I?

Get Scared - Sarcasm

Speech Patterns - Another Mess

Catch Your Breath - Fade

1 reply
emptydriftingraft December 22nd, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is just your friend shining a light torch in your eyesπŸ˜ŠπŸ€—

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mytwistedsoul OP December 22nd, 2019

Call me Atlas

At the moment it feels as though

The weight of the world is on my shoulders

There is no god

No angels

No heaven

This is my own private hell

6 replies
crimsonLime6525 December 22nd, 2019

@mytwistedsoul hope I'm not intruding but just wanted to leave you a safe hug if that's ok.

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mytwistedsoul OP December 22nd, 2019

@crimsonLime6525 You never intrude Lime. Thank you for the hug

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emptydriftingraft December 22nd, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

I know that weight...πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜” one friend Soul once told me to call on him when I'm in need so I know he takes the weight of the world on his shoulders...and his end saying always stays with me and strengthens me in times of need...πŸ˜”πŸ˜” I thank you...

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP December 22nd, 2019

@emptydriftingraft Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. I'm sorry to see they keep catching you

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ThePizza December 22nd, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

Truly private, for

We others can only view it from the

Outside.

Still, well reach in to (try and) help.

Candle

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP December 22nd, 2019

@ThePizza Thank you M - your candle shines very bright

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