A place for my thoughts (and yours) as I cycle through life
I think I will use this spot as a brain dump when needed....I'm having a hard time navigating the forums. I'm not sure where to put things, don't know if there is a way to be notified if someone comments back on my threads but I'm sure I'm missing somebfood stuff, and when it tells me I'm tagged get lost trying to find it....I find I do better navigating the site from my laptop on the web than I do from the android app on the phone so most of my thought dumps will be from the computer, when I actually have time to log in amd type.... I also hate trying to type on my phone....I have the fat finger issue and a lot of times my words are wrong or spell check puts some crazy crap in there that I don't catch and it comes out as nonsense....anyway...if anyone else reads this and wants to be part of my brain dumps, feel free...I'm always open to, but don't always listen to advice, comments and constructive criticism....sooooo to anyone reading, welcome to my world....
Friday August 2 2024
Headed home from vacation today. While I am stresses about the 14 plus hour drive, depending on traffic, I am a little relieved that we broke it down I to 7 hour days. Of course driving down our first leg went 9 hours and change due to traffic so here is hoping we have a better ride home. I am actually torn about leaving here. While going home is always nice, I really enjoyed this vacation and beach more than I have any in a long time. That is saying a lot because B amd do weekend get aways and over nighters at different places regularly. While I enjoy them, it's not like this one was....I actually felt relaxed, really and truly relaxed for just a few days....something I haven't felt in years.... its a feeling I willl be chasing, trying to recreate in my everyday home life. Probably will never get there but whatever.
Time to finish my coffee, have a muffin, and hit the road.
@CyclingThroughLife
That does bring on a smile. Thanks for sharing. I think you were long overdue and it's really wonderful you got a chance to feel that again. 😃
Saturday 3 August 2024
Second and final day of my 7 to 8 hr drive back to New England. I will be home by dinner tonight. It has been a nice vacation but its time to get back to my real life. I can only hope that the stress and anxiety of my usual day to day takes its time coming back. I have seen and learned things on this vacation, things that I need to start to incorporate into my regular daily life....how to do this I"m not sure. I will talk more about those things another day when I have time....now...I need to finish this coffee and hit the road.....
@CyclingThroughLife
Safe, Relaxed travels my friend. (You can do it) 😃
Sunday 4 August 2024
Getting myself back into a routine.....hitting the garage for a weight lifting session....I may or may not add to this later....depends on if I have time to sit in front of the computer.....
Monday 5 August 2024
I really don't like the fact that I do not have time to sit in front of my laptop each day and put something here, or participate in other threads or forums as much as I want to. I just get so frustrated, first, trying to navigate forums on the android app on my phone. Nothing is easy to find and I have to scroll forever just to get to "newer" posts on each thread. The alerts just bring me to the original post on that thread and I have to search for the newer replys...its quite annoying.....and second, typing anything on my phone with my fat fingers is just torture....I would love to have time to just sit in front of the laptop for an hour each day and just participate.....I guess it is what it is.....
Today I woke with a headache. I'm sure its weather related....I hope the Motrin kicks in because I planned a much needed 30 mile bike ride....I'm doing the bike ride even if I still have the headache....I'll just go as far as I can.....
Back to work tomorrow.....I'm trying to be cool about it but I can feel my stress and anxiety level going up as the day go on......
Wednesday 7 Aug 2024 0330hrs
Here I am back putting down a few lines in the am wile I wait for the coffee to brew. Yesterday back to work...vacation didn't make things any in my head when it came to the job...in fact I think it made things worse....I need a change is all I know... I just don't know the path to take to get there
I know what I have to do as far as my job is concerned. There are a few paths I can take (as I write this I am singing in my head "Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run.....
There's still time to change the road you're on")....you just sang it too hehehehe..... Each path has its good and its bad.....But the unknown is keeping me from taking that step out into the darkness.....Below is something I keep on my phone to remind me that I used to not be afraid to step into that darkness.....I did that....regularly...and for a long time after I left the Military....I wasn't afraid of that darkness.....it wasn't until here in the last year or so that I'm afraid of that darkness now....I don't know what changed in me....but something did....something that is now keeping me from taking that step....
Thursday 8 Aug 2024. 0335 hrs
Ugggg. That's all I got this morning.... hurry up coffee amd brew
@CyclingThroughLife
Out the door.... progress!
Friday 9 August 2024 0330
A few things running through my head
Found put some things today at work from the union guys that would really benefit me if I stayed for 2 and half more years until I'm 55....I just need to find the correct coping mechanism to get through.....deep thoughts amd hard decisions.....truthfully...its the money...and a substantial amount if I can hold on.....why does it always have to be about money?
Monday 12 August 2024
These last two days off work have been good for me. I haven't really thought about the job and the stress it causes me....I've been busy..... I've accomplished a lot at home that I've been putting off and it really feels good to be productive and see a finished product. My job has no "finished product"....for those who don't know, I'm a correctional officer....have been since 1997....when I say I think I've been doing this job for too long, I really think I have....my take....working around the types of people I work around, generally bad, narcissistic individuals, (I know its not right or nice to talk about them the way I do but I feel how I feel....I'm supposed to be able to talk about it on 7 cups so here I am...) has got me to a point in life where I'm just tired of dealing with those types if individuals on a daily basis. I feel like I'm around negativity 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and it drags me down...and it tends to stay with me....after my shift.....I think its because as I age, I am seeing the world and the life around me differently. I used to enjoy my job....like I said before, I don't know when, how, or what changed that....but something did.....I am less tolerable of the Bull$**t that goes on daily.....2 years 6 months to retirement, hoping I can make it to that date before I've had too much and leave for a lesser percentage that I should.....
Now that I've got myself thinking about work on my very productive day off, I'm going to hit the garage gym for a strength workout and get lost in some angry rock and roll while I pick things up and put them down for about an hour.....
Wednesday 14 August 2024
This week has been status quo for work.....I am working a different shift Friday to cover for people who are out, and its going to suck.....I'm not looking forward to it.....in the next 4 to 6 weeks, I will be working a bunch of my days off as a swap for middle of the week days off to cover a guy who will be out on PFML.....The bad part about it is the guys that I will be covering for aren't team players and do not ever cover for anyone else.....but I guess it is what it is......
Friday 16 August 2024
I'm working
second shift today....While I've been getting up early for a long time now,
sleeping in this morning was wonderful..waking up on my one, without an alarm we great......with that said, I'm not
really looking forward to working 2nd.....I'm
expecting it to be a terrible day....only because that is how my mind
works....we will see what happens.....