A Broken, Dusty Cup

@RedPandaExpress88

I'm new here but I am a good listener. If you would like to unload on something I will try to be there......

I have felt and gone through the same things. My medications have seem to help a bit, but it doesn't get rid of everything. It can be hard to find people to talk with and who understand your exact situation. And going to a therapist is very helpful. The first year or so I hardly ever talked to my therapist. She talked to me and gave me crayons and markers and pencils along with coloring pages. Sounds silly for a 16 year old to be coloring, but it was very relaxing and I knew I was in a safe environment. Over time, I'd talk to her little by little until I got to the point where I could talk to her regularly. You don't have to talk. It isn't a waste if you don't. It can just take time to get comfortable. And a lot of them really care for you and want nothing but to help you. I hope you don't give up on talking to people about the problems you face. I also found group therapy very helpful! It can be really scary, but once you hear others stories it is a lot easier. They understand and empathize. And are very helpful and loving. They are there to get help, to find others who relate, to socialize and feel normal in a world that makes us feel like weirdos. I hope this helps you. Know you are loved! Even by strangers. I love you as a person, as a human, as a beautiful creation. You were born from a beautiful process! And you are a beautiful person.

@UnravelMyMind

I don't feel beautiful, nor do I feel loved, but I appreciate your kind words and your good advice. I wish you well.

@UnravelMyMind

Koo dos to your therapist for thinking outside the box and being patient.

@RedPandaExpress88

Get in where you fit in as they say. Reach out like now. Have you read the 7 cups Ebook? I'm doing it now and surprising pleased with the depth of the book.

@RedPandaExpress88

Dont leave me my heart

i enjoy listening to you

and i want us to grow together and heal together

@RedPandaExpress88 Something makes you so scared and self conscious to be your true self. These people can't even see you and are miles away from you and you don't even know them personally, so their opinion genuinely doesn't really matter. However you take their responses is based on how you truly feel about yourself. What is wrong my dear? What is TRULY wrong?

@TransAm85

To answer your question, I hate my existence, and I feel like I'm in the way of everyone else's happiness-whether family, friends, significant others, and/or strangers. I'm stuck living a life, that I don't want to live in, and it hurts me.

@RedPandaExpress88 I used to feel like that and it destroys you mentally, physically, and emotionally. But you also need to realize that the negative views that you have of yourself are NOT what others think of you. We are being selfish and assuming all these things and not only hurting ourselves, but also our loved ones. Every single person on the face of this earth has flaws and that's what makes us all unique. Perfect imperfections. Those who have such high expectations are not the kind of people to associate with - they have insecurities of their own - and narcissistic people as well. You have to learn to love yourself and I am positive that there are many things to love about you. I don't like to hear people so disgusted w/themselves as you sound. You have a lot of potential and are beautiful inside and out. You just have to stand up to that negative voice in your head and tell them to shut up b/c you are a great person.

You're right. Thank you so much. *Hugs you for being a nice person, who understands* I wish you well, @TransAm85. Take care.

@RedPandaExpress88 I hope you feel better soon. It's almost 80 degrees here finally and I spent the weekend planting some flowers. My brother in law is very critical b/c he's just an unhappy person (he's 53 and lives w/his brother and sister-in-law) .. it used to hurt my feelings b/c I care about the guy, I mean he's like a big brother to me. But years have passed and I realized the guy is just so critical and grumpy b/c he is unhappy w/himself so he takes it out on the people he's close with. I used to be nervous to plant flowers and do things in the yard b/c I knew he would say something negative and critical. It's quite unfortunate for him to be so sad and unhappy. I don't want you to end up like my brother in law. 53 years old, lonely, and lives w/his younger brother b/c he doesn't want to be alone. You can conquer so much right now! Summer break, but have fun. I want you to be happy. :)