A Broken, Dusty Cup
I think I am giving up on this site. I keep trying to talk to someone on here, but, just like in my personal life, it feels like no one wants to talk to me. If someone does, I feel very self-conscious, and I assume that everyone is happier without me, and will not like me in the future. I have talked to dozens of listeners and majority of them, eventually, stop responding to me. I have even become so afraid of people disliking me, that I pretend to be okay and joke with them, even though I am in a hopeless state and I need to talk to someone. I know, because of my negative thoughts, that I need CBT, but I don't have the money, transportation, and the time to see anyone. I would probably be too afraid to speak, which would result in a waste of time for the therapist, but I really don't know what to do. I just wish I belonged, somewhere. I wish I can have a purpose.......but I don't here..