7 Cups Sharing Circles are now LIVE!
Last week, I introduced our new initiative to improve support within group rooms and bridge activities across the site. Yesterday, we began trialing the Sharing Circles meetups. Heres what its about:
What? These circles are an opportunity for us to share and support one another in a turn-based environment. Everyone who wants to participate can enter a queue to be called on when its their turn.
Where? Sharing Circle Room
Where did this idea come from?
We conduct sharing circles in the tradition of other support groups like Alcohol Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous. These groups have helped millions of people and we believe they can help people in our community as well. These groups refer to a Higher Power. We use the word Love as love is a neutral term.
The host will recite this mantra to get everyone situated in this safe space and aligned in our intentions to support each other and ourselves:
-
Please imagine taking the hand of the person above or below you. At the end, if comfortable, please say Let it Be.
Love, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as many spiritual leaders did,
This difficult world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that love will make all things right,
If I surrender to love,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with love in the future.
Let it be.
-
What happens next?
The Rules!
Please send * to enter the sharing queue once the queue is open. Please do not enter * during a share. The queue to share will be opened after each share by the host while time permits. Queue is first come first serve. The host of the circle will say the queue after each share so you know when your turn will be.
Please do not ask questions to the sharer and keep supportive phrases short. You may use phrases like ‘That sounds hard, offers hugs, sending beams.
Only members can share. Listeners may support members, but if you want to participate, you must be logged in as a member. Please wait to be called upon to begin your share.
Please do not interrupt other shares to share your own story. Please wait your turn, so everyone can receive support.
Please break your share into short sentences so that we know you are sharing/present. Avoid typing paragraphs.
Please limit your share to under 5 minutes when there are less than 10 people in the queue and under 3 minutes when there are more than 10 people in the queue.
Type ‘Over or ‘Done as a separate message to show that you are done sharing.
Sharing Circles last one hour. We close the queue ten minutes before the end. If we are not able to get to you, you welcomed and encouraged to hop into the next one we have. These will happen twice a day for now, and if it becomes popular, we will host more.
Drop any questions in the replies, and we look forward to seeing you!
@Heather225
I was in 2 of them and well I was confused. Or maybe NOT confused but set in a "listener role" It is uncomfie when all I share back is "hugs" or "sorry its so hard" and so on. I feel Im giving them something false when really they like just a bit more.
I know this is a new thing and I am excited to see how it helps our community in feeling more heard
@RumpleSteeleSkin
We limit responses to keep sharing within 5 miinutes. If people are talking, it can easily go over and can cost someone else their slot.
I welcome listeners, if they want to extend the conversation, to PM members if they want to show more support. I think that would mean a lot to our members beyond just the circles.
@Heather225 Yes true hun- we will just see how this circle time goes and hopefully it gets real busy. Mostly as I shared people feel supported and helped
@Heather225 Thank you for the information
@Heather225 I really like having this. I wonder about the room choice though. The mods have been trying to keep the community room for fun chat and the support room for support. If using one of those 2 rooms, I think the support room would make more sense.
I actually think having a room for this might be a good idea though. The guidelines for how this works could maybe be linked right in the room title if links work there.
I would like to see some of the SC rooms do this where it's a bit more specific & where some know each other a bit better.
@Heather225 - Yes! As Affy has pointed out here ... I think I will like to come to a sharing circle or two, in part to try to figure out what it is. As explained in *this* thread, it tells where the circle will be held but there seems to be no joining question or topic. I feel sort of like saying, "sure, I'll drop by" (to be nice, but then never coming) or perhaps actually going there but as a ghost and (trying to) being completely silent. (Yes, I know, Platy? Silent? ha ha.) So for me anyway, something 'in common' or a starting mini-story or *something!* to focus on for that circle time (shrugs) that would be very helpful for me anyway. Thank you for your previous explanations! Having a clear picture of the goal, I think, will help us to get to that goal! :) Platy
I've wondered about this.. I went into one, my first! But it just feels weird, I dont know if its the room choice (Affy is right on that, i think its better in Support 24/7 than MCR and TCR), or the way it is, but I left in the first 15mins or so. It feels like a 1 on 1 chat with spectacters and Im super uncomfortable with it, but its just me i think.
At the opening, it feels like a religious speech. im religious so i kinda understand the words but I feels like im going to church feels and people will drop by halfway and missed it.. I mean its okay, but I also feel uncomfortable as a listener (after reading guideline) when all i can do is saying the basic words and I feel insincere when doing it.
But since its still new maybe my opinion will change. Still looking forward on what happens. I also mean no offense in this post(?) if i had done any here. *cross fingers*
Do what you love to do, not what you're supposed to do ~Tea
@AddictedTealover98 I missed the start of it, I'm hoping to be there for one today for the entire thing. From a post, I agree with you though. I don't mind a group opening, but the fact is AA has a religious basis even if it has changed a bit to be more inclusive. There are actually secular programs as not everyone is comfortable with AA due to that. I think at 7cups we could and should do something that's a little more open. Hopefully I can get a full feel today.
@AffyAvo No worries, I've never been to AA and never had a reason to so from your viewpoint maybe different and i understand that. It's just weird for me for to go in there's and say like "sending beams" or can't say anything. Especially awkward as a background lurking. Like i said before, my family is religious and while i don't exactly follow some of the tradition that my religion go through, it still feels like we're going into a prayer session where we ask Allah (God) for wisdom and guidance and submitting ourselves to them and I've had that feels when i join so I'm going to opt out of these sessions.. I do that everyday when anything happens anyway.
@AddictedTealover98 Just throwing this out here, am open to opinions, edits, additions, etc. It's short but I think gets to the purpose.
@Heather225 what do you think of using something like this, or something else that steps away from a religion based opening?
We come here to share and support each other. We hope all may benefit as members share their experiences.
Sending beams
@AddictedTealover98 compleatly with you on the uncomfortable part!!
Not sure I undestand the logistics of this :3
I missed this today but plan on checkingi t out tomorrow. <3
@Heather225 Would it be possible to do a pop-up room for it because I know that when the sharing circles happen there are people who don't want to do them and just want to be in support room or tcr. Also I dislike only doing short answers just because I feel like it isn't really that supportive and because of the short answers rule people don't participate as much.
@littlePapaya2167 I definitely see your point about short answers, but I also feel that when people write long responses, they tend to lapse into sharing their own stories, which may become a distraction. Short answers might be preferable in this format.
@gregariousAcai1247 that's true I just feel like three words isn't enough to help as much
Participated last night and it went well, except for persons intruding in the process. Not sure if it was ignorance or rude behaviour. Perhaps a little sign in / check off when you enter the room?
*
I don't think that changing one word alters the fact that it's still a religious text. And from participating I got the impression that the whole thing is a religous style meeting. I think that pretending it's not a religious practice when it is could almost amount to gaslighting.
@resourcefulPond1641 Basides the opening, can you elaborate more on why the entire thing felt religious? Most of the feeling I got from it was typical of listening/group support
I made a suggestion for the opening above instead of using the AA one. What are your thoughts on it?
@AffyAvo AA is is a religious program. It's true that apart from the opening, these sessions aren't outright focusing on anything religious; but the whole point of AA is to learn to submit your life to a higher power. That is a pretty religious idea. And this is basically following the same format of a religious AA meeting. I am not sure if they are just looking to do something inspired by AA here, which would be fine, or if they are actually just running AA meetings here and pretending that it's not religious because they changed a word to make it less obvious. If the latter that would be misleading people who may not want to be part of AA. Lots of people have trauma related to religion, and may want to avoid AA for that reason. So I just think they need to be careful around this issue.
@resourcefulPond1641 I totally agree with you on AA having a religious component and that we shouldn't use the opening that comes from them. We're not trying to attempt to run an AA meeting (or that's my understanding anyway). I have never been to one to know the specifics of how they are run - I just know what I've seen from media and some of their own material. I know you're not the only one who would be uncomfortable with something that comes off as religious, so just wondering how the Support Circles could be tweaked besides the opening.
@AffyAvo Also, yeah I thought your opening was good, if a bit brief.
@resourcefulPond1641 Thanks! I had thought of more that could have gone with it, but I felt like the more that goes in, the less likely it will be a good fit for a large number of people with a variety of circumstances.
@AffyAvo They are ending the sessions with the serenity prayer too, so they would also need a new closing to use if they were going to avoid using a prayer.
@resourcefulPond1641 The 2 I went to didn't do that.
@AffyAvo I think it might depend on if there is time at the end, because people tend to talk for longer than the alloted amount of time. When I went when it was busy they didn't, but when I went when it wasn't as busy they both started and ended with the prayer. And encouraged people to say Let it Be after.
I actually like the idea of a non-religious ritual beginning and ending. If it was a relevent poem or something that could even be nice. Idk.