Importance Of Being Welcoming In The Chatrooms~ A Reminder

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Thank you for making this post ❤️

I 100% agree with every word written here =D And I definitely remember some of my first few hellos and welcomes =D 

ـNot being greeted when i enter the chatrooms is honestly a mood downer sometimes xD. Especially when I’m already feeling lonely. I don’t do either of the things you mentioned exactly tho 🤭 I tend to lurk when this happens for a bit, and seeing tcr chaos cheers me up. Then i forget that people don’t know Im here, and send a response to something someone said. 

And then i remember you’re supposed to greet them, first xD 

When I enter a chatroom and get more than one “hi”s, tho, i feel noticed. It’s a beautiful environment when everyone’s saying hi. 

Although sometimes, there’s so many people to greet xD

@unassumingEyes

Hey hey Eyes, I'm happy to get to talk to you here, have always admired your sweet and caring messages from afar to your peers in the forumland hehe.❤

Woohoo a 100% agreement is such a win *smiles* and yay for remembering the first welcomes too. Those definitely create a lasting impact haha!

I totally agree how not being greeted is a mood downer (same xD like hello people in the room, you had one job to do xD jk jk 😛) yussss, especially not-a nice feeling when one is already feeling lonely.

I also like to consider that sooo many of us like being a part of this community because it feels better than the off-cups world in a lot of ways, to begin with, this place feels (has a greater potential to be) more welcoming, comfortable for us to be in, a space where we feel more accepted and more encouraged to be ourselves~ so if we connect the dots, even the smallest things we do here can create a big impact. Kind words matter, kindness matters. 

Haha that's alright, I'm sure different people have different ways of seeing things and handling them, whatever suits one more. Also why, an open space to share any ideas here. 

Lurking can be fun sometimes (👀) when we aren't feeling as upbeat to actively participate, we can still experience a more "passive" sense of community and company. 

Tcr seems like a fun place to be. :P Glad there's some cheer present in the chaos too hehe, and of course, awesome thing when something catches our attention and makes us wanna come out of lurky-land. XD 

"And then i remember you’re supposed to greet them, first xD " ~ lollll I love this and yusss, how the tables turn!😂

Samesieeee, even if sometimes there's more people to greet or greet-back(?), it's still such a beautiful feeling to be noticed, welcomed and being greeted. What an instant mood uplifter too!🥰

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reflect on this post, Eyes. I appreciate youu.❤

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou I appreciate you too 🥹❤️

Another welcoming thingy Ive noticed is when someone announces they’re going to lurk, the response is along the lines of “pulls you out of lurking” or “nooo you’re welcome to talk but its ok if you want to lurk.”

Like, the understanding and acceptance between everyone is beautiful *wiped away happy tear*

Cups really does have *alot* of potential. It’s already doing like, 10x better than the off-cups world. It’s nice to have a place where people just accept the fact that we’re living in a not-very-nice world, in the nicest way to say it xD. And just knowing all these people are trying to help, helps, even if their methods aren't helpful. Just a few fixes here and there, and cups could be a greater place. 

And we have amazing people like you reminding us of all this!! 💕💕

@unassumingEyes

Aw haha yes indeed, it's so heart-warming to see that strong sense of understanding and community!🥰

Lol yes, it's nice when people do acknowledge that and try to be kind-errrrrr. :0

Indeediooooo, we've come a long way and there's forever a path to continue on, when it comes to "becoming even better" xD I agree hehe!

Thank youuuuu, and thank you for being a vvv lovely part of this community too. Kind people like you always do remind the world of more kindness.💗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou hii sunny boo ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ 

I always say " hi (followed by username) "when I see someone enter the room. If they have a newbie badge I say "hi (followed by username) welcome to cups, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ as you can see I'm the only normal person here 😁" if someone seems unusually quiet I tend to ask that person if their ok, or how are they. If a newbie is quiet I do try to get them involved in the conversation😁❤

@Tinywhisper11

Helloooo lovely Lolaaabeanieee *giant tiny hugs backkk* 🤗❤

Lolabeanieee, you are one of the most welcoming, inclusive and comforting people I've seen here. 

I haven't seen you in the chatrooms in a while (lol, I haven't been too often in the chatrooms either lately), but I remember from a few months back too, how you were always the one to notice people entering the room, plus the one to notice people leaving (like when someone says they are going or need to be back etc) and I remember your "Take care. I love yousss" too for I've been a recipient of them so so often. 

If people were to get really technical about things, then sure, I'm on a listener account and you on a member account, but I wouldn't hesitate in telling you over and over again how welcomed and comforted I've always felt in any space you were in. And can vouch for the fact, that many others do too. 

You have such a lovely way to talk to just about everyone hehe, I admire this soooo much, how instantly you make people feel-at-home. 

Ooh and could you be any more amazing(?), I loooooveee people who take time to notice the quiet ones, the shy ones, the "can use some comfort before I can participate and feel a part of this group chat/ community" ones. Such a thoughtful thing to do.❤

Now I see the same you being ever so welcoming, always ready with the cutest hellos and warmest hugs for our peers in the forumland too and it warms my heart sooo much. 

I think everyone should get a special giant tiny hug and be greeted with your hearty messages~ it is, in my eyes, the easiest way to feel belonged here. 

Hehe I mentioned shouting-out at people like you in the post, and so here it is, a shout out to you, for being incredibly magical *you*.

Thank youuu for alwayssssss taking the time to notice people, include people and care for people. You make 7 cups the brightest, happiest, warmest place for everyone blessed enough to know you and open enough to allow your caring love seep-in their heart.🥰

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou awwwwwww that is the sweetest message evvverrrrr ❤❤ I love you so much ❤❤ I'm gonna give you a giant tiny hug right now, squeezes you tightly ❤❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

❤️❤️❤️

@SparkyGizmo

I was hoping you'd show up hehe, you being one of the most welcoming, inclusive, comforting, encouraging, resourceful and approachable people everrrrr and *consistently* (yesssss in bold to emphasize it more, "consistent" is one adjective that describes your thought process, actions, behavior and just youu being youu soooo well), Sparkyyy Sparkkkk.❤

No matter what room it is, if it has you, it's gonna be a sparkling one, sparkling with kindness, sparkling with support, sparkling with hugs, sparkling with high fives, sparkling with love, sparkling with a sense of community.🥰

Thanks for being you, my sweet spideyy twin!🤗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Many thanks my wonderful Spidey Twin! 😊 ❤️ The feeling is mutual! I appreciate you! ❤️   

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️

@SparkyGizmo

*keeps hugging*

🤗❤🤗

Heya! *gives big bear hug* I feel this post was very needed! thanks so much for making it!!!! I honestly kinda feel downed when people will just not greet me, I get ignored a lot in chatrooms. I have no idea why, Im not a old grumpy teenager. It's odd :/. Anywho, since I am so pron to being left out, i feel like its kinda my duty to try and reply to every single message in some way, no matter if its sending support, or just saying hi to someone. It gives me joy to see people not feeling left out and like they could send any message and I would reply, even if im in a bad mood. I'll try to be inclusive (its quite hard). I just kinda wish that the effort that I give to the communtiy, would be given back in some way. Like I said, i get ignored quite a lot in chatrooms for 0 reason. Anywho, thanks for making this post!!

Thanks, Noah

@CatHanderOutNoah

Hey hey Noah, happy to see you and aww thank you for the big bear hugs. *bigger bear hugs back* 💗

It is so upsetting to hear you often feel ignored in the chatrooms despite you being one of the people who make an effort in being welcoming, supportive, kind, inclusive and engaging even if it's difficult on somedays for you. 

Even 'old grumpy teenagers' shouldn't be ignored, I think hehe, no body should ;/ let alone our sweetest Noah. Being ignored isn't fun at all. Specially when we are left to question what it is that we should be doing "right" to feel more seen. (':  

It's a common saying that conveys something like: people who have experienced an X situation/emotion/feeling/thing and if it wasn't a great one, some of these people, they do feel more obligated and purposeful towards not letting anyone else experience the same.

Like we know it hurts to fall down so wouldn't wish that upon anybody else, and would go out of our way to walk beside and look out for them so they don't fall, or of course, to be there, in their time of fall- to sit with them and comfort them. (': 

I see you're active within leadership roles too and have been so expressive of your care and commitment in the betterment of the community, improving the support here, for all. 

It is super valid to feel hurt and disappointed and to want to receive the same kinda effort you give out for the community.

You deserve it too, soooo much. To feel as included, welcomed, respected and cared for. 

Please keep being you, we defo need more people like you who try to lead with example and do their best in showing up despite not being acknowledged/ reciprocated to enough. 

I hope the good you do, does come around for you too.

I appreciate your honest response here vv much. Sending so much love your way!💗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Thank you for this really important post

1. What is your understanding of practicing inclusivity in chatrooms?

My understanding is to not use diagnostic language to describe anyone unless they themselves have asserted it (e.g. AUDHD) or out someone with a mental health condition , personality disorder like you would someone who is lgbtq+ - not cool. 

2. Have you been in a chatroom recently? What kind of difference does it make for you, to receive a warm greeting?

I feel welcomed but if its a comment where its just welcoming everyone in the room i dont mind - personally dont feel ignored as I can appreciate some may feel shy around me or not be as close to me - used to affect i'll admit. I do feel that questions should not be ignored in the room even if they are uncomfortable ones - take them aside and communicate - im really sorry at times comments have went over me head and sometimes cannot keep up with conversations in the room when multi-tasking - i try to make sure i let everyone notice this. 

3. What's your goto way of welcoming someone entering the room?

if they are new "welcome to 7 cups" and I pm them welcome pack and listener primer resources  most of the time 

4. Tag any peers you find most welcoming and kind in the chatrooms and give them a little shout out for leading with example! (You can also appreciate your peers anytime using the peer appreciation form)

@GoldenRuleJG

I am glad you found this important too!

Ooh making use of inclusive language and terminology is definitely super important, so is being mindful of respecting boundaries and in general, being respectful and accepting of people.

I tend to use "hey everyone" a lot of times too when it's my first time entering the chatroom during the day/ for the time-being/ when I'm not sure who's active in the chatroom, and I see a lot of people do that, to send out a greeting to everyone when they first enter. Of course, a more personalised/ 1-1 greeting can be shared when there's people active/ revert to the general greeting, yessss, certainly more touching to receive a personal one, I feel.💗

You mentioned a great point about comments being ignored if they might be uncomfortable or similar, and I agree, we can all try better at this forsure, to try and revert to any comments made/questions asked as possible. 

Multi-tasking while being in a chatroom can be a hassle haha, defo hard to manage it and notice people entering/ leaving the chat. 

I think sometimes if the tabs are idle for a little while, the chats also kinda get stuck and you gotta refresh it smh. Happens sometimes with me. (': 

It's thoughtful of you to make people notice these things though!

Aw thanks so much for shout-out, Golden, I appreciate it so much. You're a vv welcoming and kind peer to have around always, I've noticed how you also take time to read the room after entering and send out greetings/ answer questions etc even if it's been a little while. I like how you take time to make people feel seen, even during the check-ins you've hosted, I admire your patience in welcoming people, introducing to the topic/ repeating questions and reflecting on the responses so far, when someone joins midway. A big shout-out to you too!💗

Ooh and sending out helpful resources is awesome. Thanks so much for sharing your valuable response, as well as tagging our sweet peers!

Thank you for this Sun - with people being uncomfortable with similarity I feel it’s the opposite - a common theme for most people that individuals are just more bubbly around people who share interests with them. The reason for some being quiet is not knowing where they stand with each other (e.g. people may feel less inclined to banter with someone they don’t know very well) or having a miscommunication the last time so may feel discouraged to try to communicate again with them. All miscommunication isn’t bad - differences in humour (brits tends to have a dry wit). I’ve noticed a few getting I guess some feeling triggered if someone gives a correct answer but it’s not the way they would do it. Having said this we all can make an attempt if not already doing it to ask the people unfamiliar with 7 cups what they need in terms of support and as we are able to communicate with compassion to members extend the same to listeners. We all made mistakes on our journey and still to this day do - everyone has a guide. This may or may not be true - it’s the impression I get 💛

@GoldenRuleJG

That is so well put, Golden. Yes, indeed, we are all learning and growing together and it's way more fun trying to support and encourage each other while we are it. Mistakes sure happen and quite natural~ being open minded, and willing to work through them and find a common place of understanding as well as trying to do better next time is the way to go, I feel. Best kinda community building exercise too, I think haha! 

Thanks so much for sharing!🤗

This is a wonderful post @Sunisshiningandsoareyou and it's so important that everyone feels welcome and included here 💜 You have made so many excellent points that I can't add anything extra to.

I just wanted to mention when joining the Sharing Circle room, please don't be put off if you aren't welcomed immediately, as there might be a share in progress and we try not to interrupt. Once the share is over, the host/other members should welcome anyone that has joined the room 🤗

Hey hey awesome hooman, @Lou73, I am glad you found this post to be complete hehe. 

Ooh very important message regarding sharing circles, in particular, to not cause interruption if there's a share going on, we've definitely seen a chain of messages sometimes and it's defo not nice if the sharer feels interrupted during their time. Thanks for sharing this.💜

great post!!!

@Heather225

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

1. What is your understanding of practicing inclusivity in chatrooms?

Hello @communicativePond1728, good to see you here. 

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Thank you for this thoughtful article, Sunshine! 🌞❤(∩˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ∩)❤

 Thank you also for the link to the resources! 🤗❤

1. What is your understanding of practicing inclusivity in chatrooms?

It means welcoming people in rooms when it is possible, without interrupting others who might be speaking at the time

2. Have you been in a chatroom recently? What kind of difference does it make for you, to receive a warm greeting?

Me have not been in rooms lately. (..◜ᴗ◝..)

But perhaps in general, when getting a greeting it will make people more likely to hangout in the rooms

3. What's your goto way of welcoming someone entering the room?

By using a hi (name) ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Tagging: @WishUponAStar968   @Keith22534   @Teenytinyturtle    @MyTwistedSoul    @RachelListener    @RecliningFate   @coolmecool    @FineFrog15    

@VictoriaLove7

I am glad you like it, Vicc. Thank you for sharing. Recieving a welcoming greeting in general does have a lot of potential in making people feel more encouraged to stay and even participate in the chats, if they are up for it, I feel.❤

Thanks for tagging so many awesome people!🥰

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Thank *youu*, Sunshine! 🌞❤⊂(ᵔ◡ᵔ⊂)❤

@VictoriaLove7 Thank you for the tag 🙂

1. What is your understanding of practicing inclusivity in chatrooms? That everyone is welcome to join in

2. Have you been in a chatroom recently? What kind of difference does it make for you, to receive a warm greeting? I was yesterday. One I hosted and then joined the 50+ crowd later. They're definitely inclusive and very welcoming. I'm more inclined to join in on the discussions if I receive a warm welcome 

3. What's your goto way of welcoming someone entering the room? Usually a Hey and then some part of their name

@mytwistedsoul

Thank youu for sharing, Soul, it's always so good to hear from you. 

I agree with feeling more inclined to participate in discussions when the overall atmosphere, hosts, other participants are more welcoming and ensure the discussion stays inclusive for all. 

I'm yet to attend more chatroom sessions with you hehe, but from forumland alone, I can tell you're one of the most caring, welcoming, inclusive and consistently compassionate people out there, who definitely goes an extra mile in making people around feel as welcome and comfortable as possible. 

Ooh and I remember this one time in one of the member chatrooms, you introduced me a little to the other member ("sun is a safe person❤"~ is what you told them 😭❤), while y'all were talking, making me part of that conversation and feeling like a part of the group plus to assure them they can feel as comfortable and open too, and not interrupted/ anxious when a "new" persun entered the chat during their share. 

It's been more than a year to that, I think, and I remember, so there you go, how magical kindness is and how *seen* and *remembered* your efforts in creating that comfortable space for all, always is. 

Thanks for being you!❤

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Omgosh! You remembered  that? I'm touched 🥹 Thinking about it now - I was so worried that I was coming across as rude to you because I was focused on the other person 😅 and you were so kind and understanding ❤️ the wonderful amazing you that you are. We're all so lucky to have you here with us Sun ❤️❤️

@mytwistedsoul

Hehe yesss, I do and fondly. Oh and you never have to worry about that (smh yes I know if only we could just find that turn off switch lol😂😭), Soul, you're ever so kind, accommodating and thoughtful. I appreciate you lots and feel quite blessed to have known someone like you here too.🤗❤

@VictoriaLove7

🐸 ❤️

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

This is an awesome and thorough information. Thank you for writing this for us! ❤

I think in a quiet room it is easier to greet people, but when there are many people, like mcr, everyone might be busy talking ❤

@RachelListener

Thank you for taking the time to read and appreciate.🥰

I am glad you mentioned "in busy rooms..." and exactly the place where being mindfully-welcoming and inclusive is extraaa-important. 

I don't find it to be a good excuse "the room was busy, didn't see you", it's very much possible and happens a lot of times, unintentionally when we miss seeing or welcoming people, but should still try our best to include as many people.😮 

I'd much rather remember (fondly) who noticed me in a busy room than in a quiet one (latter should be more obvious lol if there's less people or no active participants at all). 

Busy rooms are far more likely to make new people or those not really aware of the chatroom-structure (specially the one you mentioned here, MCR being a more free-flow chat space kinda room), feel ignored and un-welcomed. 

So now these kinda rooms, or busy-times are where I feel all of together (listeners, members, leaders and moderators) should come together and try to ensure everyone feels as welcomed and comfortable enough to stay/ join the chat!

I remember something really cool that I saw happening in the positivity corner room (I'm not sure who came up with this idea @Fristo so please do shout out to them if you know), the chatroom leaders/ hosts sent out reminders like "let's slow down for everyone to catch up" or "let's allow everyone to talk/ type their thing first" or "let's take a breather/pause" when the chat seemed to go too haywired xD or busy or when some mentioned they weren't able to read/ respond/ found the pace toooooo fast (than usual). It used to work, mostly because the lovely participants complied, actually slowed down and took a pause and then resumed hehe. So yes, again, collective effort always >>>

I feel something like this might help in chatrooms usually too, ones that have a free flow structure/multiple conversations happening at once.😮

Any more suggestions? Everyone reading this, is welcome to contribute!💗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

I love the idea of frequently pausing to check in and take stock and allow people who may be hanging or "waiting" to come forward. we should definitely try to, as a community, make this a habit across room culture.

@Heather225

Oh noes, I missed this tag earlier :/ but sooo appreciate you responding, H, I am glad you're onboard too and exactlyyyy, this would be helpful across-chatrooms.🥰

@ASilentObserver Obzieee did your brilliant observer self come across this thread earlier? I'd love to know your thoughts and insight too, please feel welcome to share.♥️

Also, wondering if the chatroom guidelines can have the mention of this mindful pausing/ catching a breather and allowing everyone to catch up while in busy chats or during discussions?😮

Thank you so much for sharing these links and resources here Sun! I still get jitters whenever I enter a room 😰💗📳

@ThoughtsBubbleExpress

Hiya, lovely seeing you again. Thank youuu!💛

Aw what makes you feel jittery about being in a chatroom, Bubble?

Feel free to share if there's any ways that may help you feel more comfortable.💛

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou thanks for sharing this post and great to see you again too 😊 I don't know honestly what makes me feel jittery, like I just open a chatroom and keep observing the conversation scared of interrupting the conversation (mostly in sharing circles and exploration garden rooms, the atmosphere feels kind of stuffy in there) unless someone notices and says hello to me, then I start warming up slowly, the positivity corner and member community rooms are my favorites so far 🥰 Maybe a hi, how are you doing today, we are discussing this topic, what do you think about this? will do great for me

@ThoughtsBubbleExpress

Likewise, Bubble and thanks for sharing.💗

It's okay to not know for sure what causes the jittery feeling. There's different reasons for different people, sometimes a little unexplainable feeling too, just the discomfort that isn't particularly caused by "something" but it's there, specially in the initial stage.

Certainly quite natural to want to take the time to "read the room" before you begin interacting, I think, I do that too, it kinda helps to get a feel of the chatroom vibe, the topic (if any), pace of the chat etc. 

I get how the chatrooms following a certain structure may feel more stuffy, and it's thoughtful of you to consider not-interupting any ongoing shares in these particular rooms. (Reading the room becomes even more important in such rooms/ sessions haha, to see what we are entering into and if there's a "green signal" to start interacting)

I'm happy to know you've spent time in the member community and positivity corner chatrooms and have enjoyed the fun, cheerful, light-hearted space they provide. Definitely more breezy getting started in a chatroom that has a more free-flow vibe. 

Ooh I like that, so as someone previously mentioned in this thread too, a general greeting with a brief summary of the topic of discussion and an invite to participate. I do find this approach quite welcoming (to the chatroom) and inviting (to actually participate in the chat) too. 

I hope with time you continue to have better, more welcoming and comfortable chatroom experience(s).💗