Discussion 01: Introduction to Group Support
Before we dive into the Group Leadership & Development aspects, it is important to know what 7Cups Group Support.
As per Merriam Webster Dictionary, Group is a number of individuals assembled together or having some unifying relationship. While group dynamics are the attitudinal and behavioral characteristics of a group. It is focused on how groups form, their structure and process, and how they operate. More specifically, why and how groups develop.
This is what you will notice in the 7 Cups Group Support. 7Cups started with providing support 1-1s. But as we grew up, we realized that 1-1s are not enough. There is a need for group interaction as well. To meet the community's needs and demands, we added group support. We created and used chat rooms to structure a safe environment to facilitate group support. We have dedicated chat rooms for both listeners and members to provide support as per their needs.
Currently, we have more than 150+ chat rooms to serve different purposes and needs of both members and listeners community for both adults and teens. Amazing! Right?
We are a vast community and we recognize our diversified members and their needs and demands. And, these chat rooms became safe spaces to connect, interact, engage, learn, share, and grow collectively. These rooms are not only used for support reasons but also to brainstorm and problem solves, celebrate small and big achievements, and gain a sense of belonging to this community.
Moving forward, we identified the needs of moderating these rooms, so we introduced the chat room moderator role, figured out we need facilitators to lead different sessions in the chat rooms, so added Support Session Leader and On-spot Host as the recent addition to it. We figured out the safety issues in the chat rooms, and we badge locked the rooms. So as we learned more about the needs and demands, we kept iterating and evolving group support for better experiences and support for everyone. We are on a journey to build the best group support. And, we will continue to progress …
Discussion: Share 3 highs and 3 lows you experienced in the group support chatroom!
Activity: Respond to at least two of your fellow trainees' comments with thoughts on their share.
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next discussion here! Ensure to implement the learning from these discussions in the chat rooms to build and support the group. You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these discussions to successfully complete the program.
3 Highs
» Hosting is one of my favorite things to do on 7 cups and the group support chatrooms give me the opportunity to do this. It's amazing to bring such unique people together and engage everyone in fun sessions. I love the feeling I get when I can tell that the atendees are enjoying the session. I was actually pretty nervous to host my first session, but with the support of my co-host and everyone who attended, I have a great time and that led me to hosting the many sessions I do today :)
» Through the group support chatrooms, I've been able to meet so many people and have built some amazing friendships. I've always been a pretty ougoing person and I love getting to know new people, so I'm definitely really grateful to the rooms for giving me this opportunity.
» I really love when there are fun, lighthearted chats going on in the rooms and many people are engaged. It's really fun to see everyone enjoying and getting to be a part of discussions such as those. The same applies for the group chats regarding support. It's really nice to see how supportive and friendly the community is, and to be able to be there for others to provide supportive words.
3 Lows
» At times there are users who are very disrespectful in the rooms on purpose. Some of the ways we see this is through spamming, repeated interruptions during shares, being unsupportive and judgemental, using triggering words, or using all caps, even after being asked not to. I personally find it very hurtful and triggering when users like these come into chatrooms. It really does bother me because our community is meant to be a welcoming, supportive, and safe one, and these individuals seem to come with the exact opposite intentions.
» When I first joined as a listener, it was a little hard for me to be able to connect to the other listeners. Everyone already seemed so close, so it was hard to find my place. This is not a chatrooms problem at alll, it was completely a personal thing. I was included in the conversations, but it was just a little difficult for me. Thankfully, this is no longer an issue for me, I've been able to make some great friends and connect with so many people.
» When it's time for me to host a discussion or I'm really excited to go talk to people in a specific room and the room is completely silent, it can be really hard. People obviously have lives outside of 7 cups and there are many other aspects of our community for people to be working in, so it's completely understandable for rooms to be silent. Although I know this, it's still pretty discouraging when there's zero participation.
@Paprika001
Hi there Paprika,
Firstly, welcome to GLDD
I can relate to what you share regarding the 3 lows. Sometimes it's very hard to manage a room when someone's there with the intention to interrupt others and not following chatroom rules, hence making the chatroom less safe. Although it's best to try to empathize with everyone but these situations can be tricky and sometimes we need support from Moderators to handle the room because gentle reminders do not work anymore. Regarding being left out, this can often happen in rooms too and I don't think it's only your own personal views. Sometimes people might have been here a while, they can have insider jokes and are used to talk directly with people they've known and so we might feel like we don't belong there. This is a natural reaction too. That's why as leaders of chatrooms, it's our responsibility to find ways to make room inclusive and that everyone's heard and welcomed. It is not easy, I'm sure of it, but I think it's worthwhile!
I am so glad that you've got a supportive co-host for your first sessions. Trust me, even the most experienced host might still find it hard to manage when a room is busy. Having a co-host/ room supporter/ moderator nearby is always recommended and I'm so grateful for many of them who step up in 7cups. I'm excited to hear about your avid interest in hosting sessions and hey, I'm also in Positivity & Gratitude sub-community! The scripts there are awesome, isn't it?
The challenge of dead/ deserted chatrooms is faced by many (including me) so you're not alone. 7cups leaders are working together to deal with this situation too, one step at a time.
Thank you for all your contribution here as room supporters on the teen side. If I were an ATL, I would definately want to be in one of your sessions.
3 highs :
1/ i am a big fan of discussions, mainly leading the healthy living ones!
2/ i love how people generally support each other and relate one to other
3/ can balance between support room and community room, balance between supporting folks and having a great time with them
3 lows :
1/ sometimes there are lot of conflicts and its hard to get folks switch topics.
2/ triggers can happen.
3/ sometimes victim of mod hate
I can personally relate to the highs and lows you shared here about what you experienced in group chatrooms.
Discussions are absolutely awesome, I think they are creative, thoughts provoking, and just overall a great way to get people talking and sharing ideas. Thank you for all your contribution to leading the Healthy Living team. I agree that personal conflicts/ arguments can be very challenging which stemmed from triggers. It can be tricky to de-escalate the situation and refocus the room's attention back to the guided discussion. Mod hate is also a common phenomenon, I'm glad that you pointed it out. I hope that your time here in GLDD course can give you more insights or ideas on how to resolve some difficulties in chatrooms.
Three Highs:
>> Chatting with a diverse groups of members and listeners.
>> Making new friends and having a sense of community.
>> Connecting with people in a group chat setting and knowing that they appreciate me efforts to support them.
The lows:
>> Quiet chatrooms.
>> Being critisized or targeted.
>> Conflicts that arise in the chatrooms.
@HelpfulGem04
Hello Luna, welcome to the GLDD program!
I can relate with your 3 Highs and 3 Lows for sure. I think group chat rooms give amazing opportunities to meet people from all walks of life. Each individual has diverse background and ethnicity whom we can learn from, which is great. However, because of differences in culture and viewpoints, sometimes conflicts can arise. It can be difficult to be a host/ room leader when there's a conflict because the frustration or anger might be misdirected or projected on us. I just want you to know that being a volunteer to host sessions in chatrooms is an honorable way to give back, to build community and bring people together.
Thank you for your volunteering time and for joining the program. Lovely to have you here in GLDD's sub-community.
My three highs:
1. My first high was the first time I took part in the listener chatroom, because everyone made me feel so welcome, and included.
2. My second high was when I first took part in a sharing circle, and I got to wittness as people were helped, right before my eyes.
3. My third high was the first time someone thanked me for helping them in the chatroom, because I felt like I was making a difference.
My three lows (harder to think of, and more about me than others):
1. My first low was when I took part in a listener chatroom, and they were playing something about how well you knew seven cups, and as I was still relatively new, everyone but me knew the answers.
2. My second low was when I was in a listener chatroom, and everyone was joking around, and then someone popped in with a very serious question, and it made me feel bad we'd joked around before.
3. And finally, my third low was when I was in a listener chatroom, and I was still new, so I greeted someone by their name, only to find out that they preferred to be called somthing else, which made me feel stupid.
@politeHoney5554
Thank Honey for sharing that. It can be tough to find a balance of being light-hearted in the Listener Support Room and also making sure that questions are answered as well. What is something you see that could be improved in the Listener Support Room?
@ASilentObserver
Thanks so much for this great post!
Discussion: Share 3 highs and 3 lows you experienced in the group support chatroom!
Highs
1. When I was being attacked by someone in a room I was moderating in, all the members supported me publicly in the group room, and some even bothered to PM me to make sure I was okay. It felt really good... considering how mods are often thought of as"police", I'm glad I was able to build such a strong rapport with members in the room.
2. When members provide me with feedback saying they really enjoyed a session I hosted, whether a Sharing Circle, or an open chat. It feels like I'm doing something right and gives me the encouragement I need to keep moving forward!
3. When I am able to de-escalate a conflict without further misunderstanding! I feel great when people don't mistake me and when my actions are understood as intended. As a mod, I'm just trying to make the environment safe and supportive.
Lows
1. Well as point 1 mentioned... I do get attacked once in a while for being a mod both in group room settings and via PM. It used to be really upsetting, but now I just feel concerned about the person who is being hurtful towards me... I try to take their perspective and question what could have made them feel so bad that they lashed out at me.
2. Apart from being attacked while I am in the room, people have talked about me while I'm not in the room, which again is very hurtful... but I'm trying to build a tougher skin. I can be the better person.
3. Listeners have tried to "correct me" when I have done absolutely nothing wrong xO both in group settings or via PM. For instance, this has happened as a moderator: they have publicly questioned what I'm doing which is obviously difficult because then it undermines my ability to moderate. I'd be grateful for a PM instead so that we could discuss your concerns and I could take action accordingly.
Moreover, it is frustrating to receive "notes" from people who aren't even moderators/don't have that experience. It makes me question myself a lot. Of course I'm not saying I'm perfect, but the important thing is for the feedback to go through the right channels: i.e. my Group Quality Support Mentor Leader/ Obs/ Com mods could give me feedback and they always know how to be nice about it. I'm always open to feedback. But also, be nice about how you say things! It makes a difference.
I guess my point is, trust people to do their jobs: if you haven't taken on a role, you probably don't know what it feels like to be in that position so try to keep that in mind. Don't triangulate: if someone speaks to you about another listener, and you reach out to that listener on their behalf to correct them/ sort the conflict out, etc. ... that is triangulation and also just really unfair. Let people address misunderstandings 1-1, and use the chain of command so that people receive feedback which is fair and appropriate .
@jovialButterfly6752
Thank you Butterfly for sharing that with us, it must have been really tough to be in that position where you targetted.
@Asher
Thanks so much for the support
@ASilentObserver
Discussion:
Share 3 highs and 3 lows you experienced in the group support chatroom!
3 Highs
1) The lighthearted chat rooms and support room (hosting Listeners and Members Sharing Circles) allowed me to meet many wonderful listeners (newbies and experienced) and members every day. People are all supportive, nonjudgemental, and generous with their encouragement. There is a sense of belonging, recognition and cooperation in the 7cups community.
2) I was able to learn more about different roles and resources by seeing how other listeners, mods, and mentors lead. They helped me to navigate around the platform and motivated me to listen and support more members.
3) I enjoy mindfulness, brainstorming and icebreakers sessions. These sessions create fruitful, educational and insightful discussions and perspectives.
3 Lows
1) I have had unpleasant encounters (spamming, disrespect, conflict, triggering topics) in group room settings. It can be discouraging when efforts are ignored but I am learning more from these encounters so I could understand their perspective and handle it better the next time.
2) I found it hard to connect to others in the rooms as I felt like they had built a closer bond with each other (cliques and lack of inclusivity). It was quite overwhelming in the beginning but I am getting used to the flow of the room and connecting with others at my own pace.
3) It can be difficult to facilitate when there is zero participation in chatrooms that are deserted or empty.
@ASilentObserver
High:
1. Felt supported
2. Each team member had a specific role that allowed discussdiscussion to flow nicely
3. Inclusivity was evident
Lows:
1. High tensions between members thinking one was taking too long
2. Too many mods/listeners thus rules were overstepped to calm situation down
3. Some users did control the time leaving others with very little
Highs
1. People always welcoming one another when someone joins the rooms and generally being really kind to everyone! It's very sweet when people see that you have entered the room as say hi to you, and when they welcome people who are newbies to 7 Cups.
2. Everyone is very supportive when members are feeling down or need to vent about what's going on. Both listeners and members are quick to console others if they are having a bad day.
3. I've made a lot of friends and had really great conversations with amazing people. The group chats are a really great place to have more light-hearted fun (unlike 1-1 chats, which can be pretty serious) and get the chance to talk with other listeners who I wouldn't meet otherwise! The icebreakers are especially enjoyable!
Lows
1. Sometimes people (usually these are members) give advice to other members in the support rooms. They are just trying to be helpful, but it is against the guidelines.
2. Occasionally, there is cliquiness in the group chats. Usually this means that a small group of people might be having a conversation together while ignoring another member who needs support.
3. Sometimes the rooms aren't very active when I'm active. This isn't necessarily a con, just that the times that I'm usually active is when most people are probably asleep 🙃
@ASilentObserver
Discussion: Share 3 highs and 3 lows you experienced in the group support chatroom
highs: 1.) doing an event discussion with @imlistening01 was lovely, we wrote our own script for it :D
2.) hosting sharing circles are always calming, it feels inclusive and safe
3.) being welcomed into a room feels warm
lows: 1.) sometimes people don't show up to discussions, it's understandable because time zones but sometimes it can be a bit discouraging.
2.) having trolls present who purposefully disrupt the flow can be annoying
3.) disrespectful members ; -;
@ASilentObserver
3 Highs I've experienced in the group support chatroom:
1) Hosting my first ever session. It was a listener check-in and everyone was so supportive. I'll never forget that. No one knew it was my first time, and how much it meant to me that they were so supportive and kind.
2) When I hopped into a group support chatroom for the first time (I can't remember which one) but I knew I was so scared! I had a question about my growth path and everyone was so helpful. It encouraged me to join another one the very same day!
3) My first LSC share is something I could never forget. It was me talking about how I felt about the roles here and wanting to take some leadership positions up. Everyone were so uplifting, and I loved that.
There's just something about group support chatrooms on 7 cups, that just makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. As I said, the love and support is just incredible, and it keeps me coming back for more.
1) I remember one day I wasn't feeling well emotionally at all. I entered into a group room, and someone immediately entered and started talking about a triggering topic for me, in detail. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and didn't log back on into them for such a long time.
2) I also remember a time hosting a discussion. Where persons had to enter the queue to share something. Someone entered and got so mad when I told them that they had to wait to join the queue. They soon left ater that and told me these discussions made no sense, and what I'm doing sucks. That did hurt a lot, but I eventually did get back onto my feet.
3) Being new in the whole community was pretty tough in itself. Why persons were really supportive, everyone already knew everyone and that made it a bit harder to feel like you mattered. But overtime it got better.
While the group support chatrooms are such a fun place to be, they can offer you some unexpected blows sometimes. And that's okay. The lows are just as important as the highs. They make them better. I'm grateful for all of them!
Thanks so much for sharing! i can understand how difficult it can be when you enter a room and there is a triggering topic! please prioritise your wellbeing.
I totally understand how you feel about your first ever LCI! I love hosting LCIs and supportive participants are the best!! And I am so glad that you manage to recover from the bad experiences!
