Weekly Prompt #11: What are some things you wish people understood about your grief?
Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a good week.
In the last week, we discussed How would focusing on your strengths and accomplishments make you feel? If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. Whether you're dealing with the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even a job, it's important to acknowledge and work through your grief.
This week's prompt is: What are some things you wish people understood about your grief?
Remember, grief is a deeply personal experience and there's no "right" way to go through it. Share your thoughts with us.
Suggested thread to check
- If you are a healthcare worker, introduce yourself here
- If you are a Veteran, please introduce yourself here with us <3
Join the General Support Group Chat to share and discuss more!
Check: 2023 Mental Health Awareness Group Support Event
@ASilentObserver I've lost two pets over the past couple of years. One was really hard because there wasn't anything I could do for him (realized too late he had kidney disease) and the other I did get treated but I wasn't prepared for a seizure. Coworkers nonchalantly said "You can always get another one" which is true, but I have one pet left. She's sixteen now and I doubt she could handle a new animal. Since she's elderly, I don't want to subject her to possible stress, anxiety, and the sensation of being replaced. Also, a new pet can never replace the ones I've lost.
I still feel slightly regretful because I don't know if I actually did all I could for them. If I had been more observant, maybe they could have lived longer. I don't know.
@Enthenia I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved pets. Their passing has left you with feelings of regret and wondering if more could have been done. What feelings come to mind when you think of the time you had with each of them?
@ASilentObserver Little incidents. The dog, whom I had almost all of his life, he could get very impatient. He didn't like if I talked on the phone for too long and he didn't like when I had to carry him over the pavement into the grass in the summer. He was pretty much all black so in the warmer months, I had to regulate his time outside even with getting shaved down. He didn't like high winds and he was not crazy about Halloween because of the kids in costumes.
The other cat, he liked having his tummy stroked. He would wrap his legs around my hand. Sometimes he would stick his tongue out just slightly. He looked silly like that. He wouldn't wear his collar so I had to make sure he didn't get out. He knew his way home but I didn't want him to be picked up as a stray. He was also smart. He figured out how to open a window then slip out a hole in the screen my other cat had made when she would tell me that she wanted inside. He also had a fairly high-pitched voice and he would sit on the floor and complain at night sometimes which made it hard to sleep. I think he just like making noise.
@Enthenia It sounds like your pets brought you much joy and comfort over the years. Their unique personalities and the special bond you shared is something truly precious. The little moments you described, both the dog's impatience and the cat's playfulness, show how well you knew their personalities.
@ASilentObserver
I wish loved ones knew that with grief, it isn’t just one day and you get over it. It’s hearing a song, watching a move, looking at the lake, watching the sunset, cooking dinner. Anything can “trigger” your grief and push it over the edge. It might not hit me today, but it might hit me tomorrow.
I wish loved ones knew that with grief isn’t “an on purpose attitude” or “excuse” to be mean or sad. It really hurts and affects you in so many ways on many different days.
I wish everyone with grief gets a big hug. thank you all for listening.
@pinkPine6124 I can understand how deeply painful grief can be. The sadness comes in waves, finding you at unexpected times through little reminders of who you've lost. It's kind of you to wish for others to know this gentle truth about grief's journey. You're right, it's not something that simply goes away after one day. Thank you for sharing part of your experience with us. We are all here with you Pink
@ASilentObserver this week has been tough that’s why I’m here. It just feels like everything is falling apart around me. I have no ambition to do things right now, I was struggling with porn addiction which I am working on and getting better, and my girlfriend and I are no longer on good terms. We are long distance and I offered to come see her to talk things through and she said she doesn’t want to see me yet because it’s only been a couple days since this has all happened. I love her and I know she loves me so much but I haven’t been there as much as I should these past couple months. She is the most pure hearted girl who I ever met and I feel like a bad human. It seems like no matter how happy I get I always find a way to mess everything up.
@Saint10010 I am sorry to hear that Saint. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of difficult emotions right now. Struggling with addiction and feeling disconnected from your partner can make anyone feel overwhelmed. But I can hear how much you care for her, and that you're working to better yourself. Feeling regret and frustration is understandable in this situation.
I wish they knew that little random things can trigger me to emotionally break down. I wish they understood how hard holidays are. Or why sometimes i start to cry for no reason. I wish they knew how much strength it takes to get out of bed some days. Or how its best to sit next to me hold my hand and let me cry. I dont need you to try to soothe me, theres no point, nothing will. Just let me cry. Let me sob. Let me talk if thats what i need. Just be there. Nothing else. Simply be there.
@tealCity8225 Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It can be so difficult to go through times when emotions feel overwhelming. I can understand why having support during those moments is so important. I think simply being there with understanding seems like a caring way to offer comfort without words. What do you think?
Ive lost two children in one year. I know for a fact that there are no words that can ever bring me comfort except for im here for you. You dont need to say anything else. You dont need to do anything else except maybe hold my hand. I absolutely hate it when someone trys comforting me by saying they are in a better place. Or you will see them again. Or anything. Because nothing will ease that pain. Nothing. But if you tell me im here for you. And you let me cry, scream, shout whatever i need to let that pain out, i will habe more respect for you. And i will be more appreciative. Nothing eases that pain. So please dont try to. Its better if you dont...thats just my opinion....
@tealCity8225 I'm so sorry for your losses. Losing a child is unimaginably painful. Nothing can replace a child; the grief must feel unbearable. My heart goes out to you and know we are all here with you to listen to and to support. Take your time to share and open up about your emotions and know they are valid and okay to share. <#
@ASilentObserver I would love for people to understand that just because they have been in a similar situation doesn't mean that they know exactly what I'm going through.
@ThoughtLight It feels like understanding and empathy from others is important to you right now. It is frustrating when people don't fully get it. How do you wish they would react or respond differently?
@ASilentObserver It is tricky because everyone attempting to say words of comfort all have the best of intentions and nobody really knows what to say. I like people who acknowledge that and are fine if I want them there but would prefer for us to just sit in silence.
