I hate everything that is going on in my life
Damn! I'm tired, I feel depressed, I really think I'm depressed, but can't get help because it's extremely expensive to see a counselor and government doesn't provide help.
My parents, specially my mom, I really love her but now she's acting not like she has always been, she's mad all the time! Fuck fuck I hate the career I have chosen to study, I feel I little pushed to chose it because of her. I haven't finished yet and she's pushing me to get a job, don't get me wrong, that would be wonderful, but I don't feel emotionally or mentally capable, I will be fired after a week, because I'm a cry baby, and also get angry really easy and If I don't think clearly I can physically hurt people. Now my mother is pushing my sister (younger than me, still in high school) to take some course in order to get a job and also study in college, but sister is facing the same problem I am, she doesn't know what she wants to study and my mother is putting lot of pressure on to her to choose something related to my mother dreams, I was talking with my mom and she told me I should stop putting ideas on my sister's head, when she's the one doing that. My sis told me she has something for sure, she wants to be happy, and I'm glad. My sister isn't a top top class students but she has been on the honors students, she told me she wants to focus on school only, she wants to get better grades and she will work on them, my mother wants that plus she starting to study in other place too.