I wish I could tell everybody that...

I'm tired , i'm way too tired of everything . And that i hate everyone and that their presence is annoying me so much. I want life to end but at the same time i am waiting for the person who will hold my hand and make me think that suicide isn't an option.

No body knows just how bad my mental health is. Everyone thinks I'm perfectly fine, but faking my emotions is exhausting. No body knows that I was sexually abused multiple times as a child, that I'm bisexual, that I self harm, that I've nearly killed myself multiple times, and that I sometimes see things which maybe aren't there. While my family is in the next room over watching TV, I stay in my room debating whether or not I should kill myself, sobbing with a hand over my mouth so they don't hear me. My family mock me for not wanting physical affection or to be touched by anyone, and they make fun of me for not going outside and being afraid of people. Can't they see I'm trying? If only they knew how broken I feel. With all the stress of finals and just life in general, I have to fight to go to school and act normal every single day. I'm just so tired.

I wish I could tell everyone to be happy. Love yourself for who you are. Everyone is precious. Give someone a hug and a smile believe me it makes a huge difference to someone who may be feeling low.

Some days I just want to remain silent and watch the world turn without me.

I wish everyone knew that I use Sam as my preferred name and They/Them pronouns!

Some times I don't know if to live or die. It's a fight everyday between the two and maybe more options. I wish some days everything just stopped for a second and I can do whatever. I don't know, its part suicidal ideation, part alienated loneiness and feeling like I'm never going to be happy.

People should choose. One minute they want me to be honest and the next they feel offended by my opinion. I dont talk very much nowadays. I just smile the fakest I can, the furthest from myself.

I wish I could tell everybody how I feel.

i wish i could just finish high school already. i could go to college and move out of my mom's place, and i'd never have to see her or my dad again.

I want to be happy.

I'm scared of change, I'm scared of being alone, I'm scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of letting people get involved in my life. But above all of this, I'm scared of never being good enough