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eating disorder log ! ! :O

s0cksz May 30th

Just a log of my eating n stuff wahoiiiii 
if u wanna know the last time I've eaten look here <3 love u all

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s0cksz OP May 30th

streak: 3 days

Tuesday: spaghetti for dinner + granola bar ( @tearstruck  for motivation ty)

Wednesday: bagel for lunch + ginger bread cookies as snack

Thursday: pizza for lunch <3

@NoahAnimates @Noor511 (you my motivators fr <3)


lets gooooo 
one small bite, one big leap towards healthy eating!!!

10 replies
s0cksz OP May 30th

Nvm, threw up lunch, feel like *** 

8 replies
Noor511 May 30th

@s0cksz oh sorry to hear that 💔

Keep going s0cksz i believe in you i know you can do it 🫂🥺

@s0cksz

aww, sorry to hear that friend 💗 its okay, we can keep going. small baby steps, yeah? *sends hugs if okay*

s0cksz OP May 30th

streak has been restored ! ! 
fully digested a pretzel twist lets gooooo

streak status: 3 days of consuming nutrience <3

5 replies
Noor511 May 30th

@s0cksz keeep going 💗💗💗🫂

tearstruck May 31st

@s0cksz proud of uuu 💕🤗

2 replies
s0cksz OP May 31st

@tearstruck
tysm i wouldn't of eaten if it weren't for you fr fr <3 appreciate you tear

1 reply
tearstruck May 31st

@s0cksz aww you're so sweet ♥️♥️ and I'm glad I could help uu a tiny bit ♥️ appreciate you toooo :) hugs

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imrubyy May 31st

im so proud of you! keep going <3

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KristenHR May 31st

@s0cksz

This is great.  Keep at it!

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s0cksz OP May 31st

Streak: 4

Friday: pb and j for lunch (fully digested so no purging yayyyy) 


Negative Thoughts:
I wish I didn't have to worry about eating, I wish I had a perfect body, I wish I didn't weigh as much as I do

1 reply
KristenHR June 2nd

@s0cksz

You're doing well.  4 days is good. 

While we wish there is a perfect body, even those who work really hard to have a perfect body do not have them.  We all have flaws of one kind of another. 

What you are doing is very difficult - but so great.  Keep up the good work.

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s0cksz OP June 2nd

I have lost my streak, but a big thank you to @Noor511 for validating my feelings <3 I will post when I've started eating again y'all <3

4 replies
Noor511 June 3rd

@s0cksz hugs 🫂🫂🫂🫂 hopefully you're streak next time will be much longer i believe in you 💗💗😭

1 reply
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KristenHR June 3rd

@s0cksz

I hate to hear you lost your streak.  That must be really disappointing.  Look how well you did with this 4 day streak.  We're here for you.  Remember, each meal is a new opportunity to begin again, and each day is a new opportunity to begin again.  It's a terrible struggle, I know. 

1 reply
s0cksz OP June 3rd

@KristenHR

appreciate you, cried to this bc I'm hella sensitive lol

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s0cksz OP June 3rd

Streak: 1

Monday: doughnutttt (my mum bought it for me <3) [I will update this post if I eat more today]


Current thoughts: I know not eating for 4 days isn't something to be proud of... but I can't help it, I am proud of myself. I am proud that I was strong enough to say no to food, for I feel as if I fail at everything else. sometimes I feel as if I don't know why I don't eat, and sometimes I eat just because I have the choice not to.

s0cksz OP June 7th

hey all, I haven't posted her in a while...
the reason being.. is that every time I break my streak I look at this and I feel ashamed. during the 5 days of not eating... I almost felt as if I should create a streak of not eating lol, but I'm not going to do that because not eating is something I would not like to encourage given the reason I do it is out of self hatred. I have had a recent streak of eating full meals, although that is something to celebrate, I would not like to celebrate it. the reason behind this, I do not know of yet.. I am still figuring things out but one thing for sure is that I am anorexic and I am working on getting better. 

Also a big thanks to @Sidezombie88 for reminding me to take things slow.  You're right, things like this do take time and patience, and definitely are not something to rush into given that I already feel drained eating 2 full meals in a row. I appreciate you :0

2 replies
Sidezombie88 June 7th

I appreciate *you* bro.

Proud of you fr

placidSea8181 June 7th

@s0cksz I am very proud of you. I know I seem probs like a stalker but I just happened to see you where in this group as well with me lol. You are doing so great and it’s really hard I know. Sometimes it seems the hardest thing is to keep going. For me I would skip many many meals because I was very stressed and my anxiety and depression getting the best of me. I also was very sad about my weight it wasn’t until I almost passed out at a soccer game people started to notice. But those who are seriously here for you will notice. We notice. And we are not ashamed of you. We are proud of you for trying. And we love you when your crying when your happy. We love you no matter how you look no matter what you eat no matter what you wear no matter what your weight is no matter how pretty you are(which I am sure is very :). So proud of you and your journey. Keep staying strong. I know you can be strong.

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