Friends & Family - How to Respond
How Friends & Family Can Respond
Many times it's difficult to know how to respond to the person you know with an eating disorder. There are things that we can say that help and things we can say that hinders and can really trigger someone. Let's look at these factors on how to respond to someone with an eating disorder when we have concerns or we want to be supportive.
What to Say to be Supportive
- What is validating and encouraging for individuals to hear when they are struggling to eat or struggling to stop the binge or purge cycle?
- What is validating for an individual who is struggling with an eating disorder when you see there is something to acknowledge is difficult or successful?
- How can we be as supportive as possible for the individual who is struggling?
It can be helpful to ask the individual how to support them best.
Eating disorders obviously focus on food and for most, body image, but is much deeper than this. Understanding what other issues are going on is important, as much as they are willing to discuss with you.
What Not to Say
- What would be triggering to an individual with an eating disorder that would perpetuate the eating disorder?
- What comments are not meant to be hurtful but are hurtful to someone with an eating disorder?
- How can making a statement about someone's body impact their eating disorder?
It's important to know that telling someone that they have gained or lost weight as well as commenting on someone's body shape can be very triggering to someone with an eating disorder. It's not just necessarily having difficulty with feelings, but can actually be taken as confirmation of their eating disorder behavior or that they need to increase their eating disorder behavior.
Avoiding commenting on how much or little someone with an eating disorder is eating is important. If they are under the care of a professional, they likely have a meal plan. Unless you are part of their care team, you may not be privy to what their meal plan is and how much they are supposed to eat or what they are to eat and why at this time they should be eating. If you are part of their care team, being aware of how to share encouragement or challenges if they aren't eating according to their meal plan.
For those of you who have an eating disorder, please share what is helpful and not helpful to say. Please share why it is or isn't helpful so that our loved ones can understand better about communicating concerns and help.
What are your thoughts?