The overweight crowd
People are always talking about how they have an eating disorder and it is always aneorxia,bulimia, or ednos.... but people forget there are other things that go on with people of the "overweight" crowd. It can be super hard! So we can chat here!
There should definitely be a category on here for people struggling with obesity , or is there and I just can't find it ?
I'm new to this, but I have been reading in this forum and I just learned that obesity is actually now considered an eating disorder, so has being obsessed with healthy eating. I'm 26. Currently weigh 219lbs. Started at 267.9 a year ago. I'm having a hard to figuring out what to do next as I have plateaud and I'm still not thin enough to be comfortable at a gym.was hoping maybe someone would have some advice? I really want to feel that excitement of being under 200 again. Lately I've been lacking the motivation to do anything. I pretty much sit on the couch all day long and get sad about that. I have depression, gad, ptsd, and mania. Sometimes I wish a mania episode would pop up so I could get out of this slump...but it doesn't seem to be happening...
Hi @ToyHearts - welcome to our little forum community, and congratulations on your successes so far! To clarify slightly, obesity itself is no classified as an eating disorder, but is often (though not always) tied to Binge-Eating Disorder. You can find more information here.
As for advice on getting through your plateau, I don't have anything specific, but I think there is a lot of information available online, and in general, I think a lot of it involves mixing up your routine a little bit. Also, I hear you about not wanting to go to gyms yet - it can be pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of gyms that focus on cultivating a "no judgment" culture - Planet Fitness is a huge chain that does, but others are as well. If it's feasible for you, working with a trainer or doing group classes might be a great way to mix things up and add some fun in.
Good luck, and take care!
I read this and it was like looking in the mirror! sorry I have no useful advice as I'm in a similar situation but if you ever want to chat!
Something happened and I'm close to just giving up. So much pain in my past that I know that I need to more forward past it. I did so well once. Worked hard and lost 80lbs. Now, I'm a 34, years old, 5'11 and the heaviest I've ever been.. 352 lbs. I walked a 10 k race not long ago, I go to yoga 5 times a week and I still gain. I eat perfect until I get home for the day in the evening, then I binge. I once was able to be super disciplined with food, but my hormones are a mess. I'll go 4-5 weeks with a period, grow lot of facial hair and all this on top of the bad edema on my legs the last 7 years. I want to fix this, but there are so many conducting things to do from nutritionists, natropaths and my family doctors advice of 'you're just fat lose weight' isn't helping. I do t know what my body needs anymore. Thyriod is good apparently as is sugars and cholesterol and blood pressure. I have to do something and right now my only hope is the specialist I get to see the end of August. I'm depressed and ashamed and scared. These days.. I start off and may get a week into healthy eating see zero results with my legs swelling, and give up, completely, and i get pissed at myself then. I'm a mess. :(
@Boopei - I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much to find what works, and the contradictory advice from every nutritionist/doctor/jerk on the street who assumes they know your life is incredibly frustrating. I don't have any helpful words to offer, but I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that the specialist you're seeing in August will actually be able to help. Take care.
Being obese since early childhood was the curse of my life. i was 7 years old when i weighed 45 kgs. And 10 years old when i weighed 75 kgs. And now on age of 29 im 160 kgs. Sometimes I binge and sometimes I don't. Being obese in my life was just like being born with blue eyes. I was just born obese and couldn't change that my whole life. I physically attract sickness when i plan to diet. I'm not joking. I have like flue, throat infections when i plan to diet. Being obese has stopped my life. I'm just like the poor child who stare behind the candy shop glass and keep looking at the candys and never get one. I look at things in my life like marriage, having kids, better job .... etc and never get any. There are so many kind ppl around me who accepts me the way i am. But there is no way that all the time the idea of me being sooooo obese is running in my head in everyone's eyes around me. Every kid, man, women, old ppl any one. Then don't have to say anything. They only need to have 1 eye contact and not like normal ppl they don't move on, they just take their time and look. I don't blame them. Well i am not like ppl around me. And we r rare actually. U see chubby and overweight ppl around me but not like me. I'm always the more obese person in any place i go. Like literally there is no relative or friend or colleague who weighs more than me. I feel like a huge ball moving around. I feel more obese than i am. I do suffer a lot. I feel ashamed. I'm very shy. I feel handicapped bcuz it's true. It's more than a disease. I tried and tried and tried to lose weight and i did and gained and lost and gained. It's a harsh thing to suffer. I really feel like my skin colour is green and that's why im different and everyone just wonder what is wrong with me. I didn't ever experienced not to be obese. It is a dream only. I saw it once in an actual dream that i was thin and that was tha happiest dream I've ever had. Execuse me if i said I'm hungry. Don't give me that look. It hurts really. Obesity is very dangerous and drain any energy left in ur body or soul. I just wanted to vent. Sorry but i feel really sad.
@politecup86 - first of all, you never need to apologize for feeling sad or for feeling anything else, especially here. And you get to vent when you need to. The way people have treated you isn't fair, isn't right, and isn't what you deserve, and I am sorry that so many have hurt you. I don't have words of wisdom or advice to share, but I want you to know that I hear you, my heart aches for the pain you're feeling, and if you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to. Take care.
Thanks a lot Anomalia. Ppl kindness here just heal the wounds i have. U shed a light on important thing. I don't need to apologise any more. Thanks for reminding me. Take care
I'm new here too, and I wonder how many listeners there are who work with older people. Some of us DO know how to use the internet, lol. Everyone is nice, but they all seem so young.
@girlwithflaxenhair - because the site is still fairly young and because, well, the Internet, the site does tend to skew young, but there are definitely some "more mature" listeners scattered around here, too. It just takes a bit of time to find the right one, sometimes. And, of course, some of our younger listeners do a pretty good job of hiding their age and being wonderful listeners with members of any age. Good luck finding one who works for you!
I just joined the site today because I really have some things I need to get out. My wife and I (I am also female) are both looking into gastric bypass. I am 5'2" and weigh 225. I also have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and acid reflux. The actual surgery part doesn't scare me, what happens after does. I don't know what I will do if I can't turn to food. Food has been my best friend and my worst enemy and without it I will be completely lost. One thing that has really gotten to me in the last couple of days has been things my wife has said. We both need this surgery, but she flat out said that if I lose too much weight she will divorce me. Basically, where I want to be weight-wise is too small for her and she won't love me anymore because I won't be fat enough. That is making me second guess everything. I don't know how someone can even say those things. That would be like me saying that if she has extra skin I will divorce her. And I would never do that. And now because I am typing so much she is all up in my business wanting to know what I am doing. And gets pissy when I don't give her every detail of what I am doing. Ugh, I just don't even know if losing weight is even worth it anymore...
@RiverSolrae5862 it sounds like you have a lot to consider, and possibly that you don't have much freedom or privacy to do it in at the moment and I'm really sorry to hear that! I can tell that you're concerned about your health, but also worried about not being to cope without food and I think those concerns are valid! It's always tough to give up something you've relied on so long, even if it hurts you at times. There are a lot of other great coping methods out there, though, if you'd ever like to discuss it with a listener here or with someone else you trust. I hope that whatever you decide to do, you are able to make the choice that feels most comfortable to you and will bring you the most peace. All the best!
@riversolrae5862 I'm sorry for what u r going through. I just wanted to tell u that i had the gastric bypass surgery less than 2 months back. And let me just say that the sadness u feel after eating a lot of food is much much much more than the sadness u will feel from eating a very less amount of food. And i was 357 pounds. And i can say from day 1 my blood pressure, blood sugar dropped tremendously and sleep apnea is gone. Please remember that You should always be the priority number 1 in your life.
I've been overweight(uncomfortably) most of my life due mostly to depression and that my parents never like me being out so I spent a lot of time alone in my room, eventually I did start secretly working out in there but my weight has always remained on the higher side. My mum would call me fat and brothers too not to mention the other children at school. Unfortunately I still eat my feelings .
@Gideonn - you are not alone! I'm so sorry that you faced so much cruelty from your family; no one deserves that. And I hope that things are a bit easier for you now, even though you said that you still struggle with it. If you ever want to talk through it all, or just vent about your frustrations a bit, feel free to reach out to me or any other listener on here. Take care!
@Gideonn
Hi, I am new to this site. I am not overweight now, but I am still stuck in that place mentally. I was an overweight kid, every time I hate an argument, when I was young, I was just waiting the other person to call me fat or do a fat impression. It really crushed me and has really stayed with me. I would love to talk to you about it, and what you can do to lose weight and get into a better place mentally. I have spent probably 1000s of hours reading about diets and trying new ways to not be fat and I think my happiness depends on it, which is obviously a very bad thing. But I get very excited about talking about it. If you want to talk, let me know.
Message by an obese Cup: When you pass by an obese person just remember few things: i'm feeling my weight in every step i take in my feet and knees and it hurts, i feel my heart beats higher than u do and i feel it in my whole body, i'm faking a smile as honestly there is no 1 sec pass by that i don't wish to just have normal body like the rest of the population, taking a breath is not as smooth as yours as i really need more effort, i sweat a lot more than u do even though i bath same as you and put more perfume, i need to use the toilet more than u do so i'm always worried about that and dirty toilet is always an option i have to take, my mind is always running ahead to check my path: am i gonna fit walking from there, sitting there, passing by those ppl, transportation in general is very hard time for me and ppl looking at me in anger making it my fault is only going to make things worse, Please Be kind to obese ppl, they r living in constant nightmare that it became a lifestyle to them, sometimes it is never our fault, yes we do stuff our selves with food but for some ppl like me it was the only way of surviving i learnt since childhood 
@politeCup86 -
Thank you for your honesty and beautiful words.
@Anomalia Thanks for being kind and appreciating that 
@politeCup86
I completely identify with the things you've written - you're very brave to be so honest. But however hard it feels, please believe you CAN do something about it. I have lost 40lbs recently, although I still have LOADS more to lose. But it's a start, and I feel hopeful, a little more in control. I don't know why you overeat. For me I think it was in response to a pretty chaotic childhood. But now more than ever, I'm determined not to let something that happened so long ago define my whole life. I'm worth more than this, I deserve to treat myself well. So small steps sweetheart, but believe in yourself, believe in your worth.
@BestIcanbe thanks a lot for ur nice words and encouragement! You are doing a great job! This is a great achievement! I relate a lot to ur story :) i have lost almost the same and a bit more. And yes it's the abuse from childhood caused the same. I'm trying my best to win this battle and love my self bcuz as u said it's truly the case :) i appreciate every word u write it to me . Thanks a lot really <3
@politeCup86
Now I've read this thread a bit more carefully, I can see you've had a gastric bypass. Wow, I am totally in awe of you! That's far more courageous than anything I could do. You've taken such a HUGE step for yourself. My steps so far have been pretty tentative. But you're pacing ahead.
So how's it going? Has it achieved all you wanted?
Credit to you. So brave ❤️
@BestIcanbe oh thanks a lot dear! Your encouragement means a lot to me! I actually wanted to do it since i was like 21 but my mom always refused saying it is risky and i can lose weight by my self lol but when i reached 29 and my case were worst she wanted me to do the surgery but to be honest I was so scared and tried to refuse badly but she put all the pressure in the world for me to make so i had to :)
Now regarding results, i have done it in August and i was 162 kgs and now 136 kgs , so yes it is good but to be honest the doctor was saying that it should give faster results lol
But the trick is that u can eat like 2 bites every 20 minutes and by being so attempted by food I'm doing that! Which is of course so bad ....
So when i did the surgery but my mind was still the same then i decided to see a therapist and soon i joined OA.org programme bcuz i needed to love my self before it is too late and before my mom would turn my life into hell bcuz she paid for the surgery lol and she wants results .
So maybe I'm brave and maybe I'm just a scared person who do things out of fear :) i really donnow still trying to figure out.
Thanks for ur lovely words to me and i hope u don't mind my long detailed post :)
You are doing also a great great job and it's ur own effort which i know it takes a looooot of effort.
Hugs
@politeCup86
Hey, 26 kilos is a lot of weight to lose, and you must have started to feel the difference. Well done you :)
And you're doing such a great thing for yourself. You talk about your mom, but this is for you. It's your life that will change, that will improve. I'm a bit older than you, and believe me, carrying a lot of weight for a lot of years really does ruin your body. I am so impressed that you've taken such a huge step for yourself, and at an age where you can really turn your life and health around. For YOU!
You mention OA. I've been to a couple of their online meetings, and they talk about one day at a time right? So how about, just for today, you wait thirty minutes between mouthfuls? Just for today mind. I've found starting my day with that in mind has really helped me. In the past, a healthy diet was a whole lifestyle change that just stretched ahead of me, and any slip was an excuse to both hate myself, and binge! But now, well there's always tomorrow. So just for today I'm doing it....
@BestIcanbe i really really appreciate your post and everything u said to me. Your kindness is truly appreciated in my heart. And just for today i did it :D i really did it till now and even more than 30 mints
It's really like u said we held on our selves a huge guilt when we slip but yes there is always tomorrow :D
And i hear you about the weight how it effects the health , my body got really tired bcuz im obese my whole life. So thanks God that my body is still surviving :)
I'm so glad to see ur posts and nice words to me. And you really inspired me by ur story also and ur words.
Hugs <3
I'm not sure if anyone is still checking this thread. I am new here and not really talking about BE with anyone. I have massively put weight on recently and withdrawn from a lot of social stuff. How do others feel about weight and social life? I am certainly not going out anywhere near as much, and its exacerbating the problem.
@Trickymae89 - I hear you! It's hard to want to go out when you're not feeling good about how you look, but I also know that you probably don't spend a lot of time when you're out focused on what random strangers look like - you focus on having fun with your friends or doing the errands you need to, or whatever else. And chances are, no one is worried about your size, but you.
Are there activities that would feel like less pressure that you can use to slowly start socializing again? Maybe things that have less to do with food, if they are less pressure? Or meeting up with just a friend or two so it's lower pressure?
Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to. You are not alone in this!
Ive been obese for as long as I remember, and Im going to college in only a few days so there's a big reality shock that I'm not normal weight. It really got me down, Im basically still a kid and everyone Ive tried to reach out to to help myself get into shape have just passed me off. So I dabbled a bit in anorexia. I was full-out with the whole 'pro-ana' websites, the 'thinspiration' and 'anorexia coaches'. But I am so thankful that a very close friend, I could almost call them my family, pulled me out before I destroyed my body. Now Ive intergrated myself into a 'leptin diet' and my opinions of my body are turning around! All you really need to do is wake up, tell yourself that this is you, this is who you are and you are gorgeous and your body is beautiful and you cant do much about that. This is you and you can either hate yourself for the rest if your life or take it in your stride and realise that this is you and you are a wonderful, amazing little human. Have a good day my lovlies and dont be so down about whats between your skin and your bones :D :D
@PedlerCoin thanks a lot for ur lovely post and for sharing ur story, you are incredibly wise :)
Thanks a lost for encouraging us and for ur lovely inspiring words :) it's so lovely of u to leave such a kind msg for the ppl in this thread. We could all need that!
Good luck in ur college and ur journey
@PedlerCoin this is very amazing.. I have an ED myself still in revovery wnd struggling
@PedlerCoin this is really great! I'm in a similar boat of always having been heavy, and it's hard to accept yourself as healthy when the world around you is telling you that you're bad for being who you are. I'm proud of you. I'm so happy you're feeling more at home in your skin!