Scoliosis
Hey. I’m not that open when it comes to talking about my problems either so here goes. I have scoliosis, i was so oblivious to the entire concept until i found out that i have it, a month ago. My friends think I’m strong but that’s what I project to the rest of the world, no one knows that I’m struggling, genuinely so. I hate it when people worry about me too. I cry myself to sleep every night. I’m studying architecture too so when i work I’m in so much pain and discomfort, just not enough to give up on my passion too but I can’t work to my fullest capacity anymore. Nothing is the same. I’ve seen 4 physios too, 2 chiropractors and they help sometimes but then it all comes back and I feel worse. It’s like i’m punishing myself further too with my course, be it drawings, models etc but what am i supposed to do? I’m angry at everyone, mostly my friends, my boyfriend too. I know they’re worried about me but they don’t have it so they’ll never understand the constant discomfort I feel before i disappear on a night out, or when I’m unable to be shop for more than 2 hours. I recently bought a back brace too and it helps sometimes but having to wear it all the time when i go out? It disgusts me as much as it helps. I’ve completely disassociated too, emotionally. It takes so much strength to wake up and be a light to people, be there for people, be around people that don’t have it. I envy them. Im jealous of them. I’m scared one day i won’t have that strength to carry on anymore.