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What do you feel is most misunderstood about depression?

breadloafy March 12th, 2017

A lot of times we deal with assumptions from other people, what do you feel is the most frustrating?

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ladylazarus1971 March 12th, 2017

@breadloafy Many people think that depression is the same as feeling sad. They don't seem to see the other symptoms it carries with it. Also, they think you can "talk yourself out of it" by simply trying to have a positive attitude.
These both disturb me tremendously.


Thanks for an interesting new thread!

1 reply
LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS August 7th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971

Such a very good point and one of my super dislikes that some people can say!

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heatherh11 March 12th, 2017

I think one of the most difficult things is that people equate being high-functioning with not being very ill.

1 reply
carefreeWords70 August 9th, 2017

@heatherh11 Exactly! The thing about depression and most other mental illnesses is that if you don't physically show signs, then you must not be suffering.

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CoinFountain March 16th, 2017

Some people that have depression and yet can function assume that when someone says they have it and say they can't fuction that it's being used as an excuse for being lazy or not being honest about what they can/can't do. People beating themselves up and expecting others to follow that same path of self loathing is dumb too.

I've heard some say anger is a great motivator but I'd rather think of that as determination because when I'm in a true rage or fit of anger it will snowball on itself and makes it impossible to think positive or be creative. Too much of a combat mode doesn't lessen the "fight or flight" factor and it's not going to ease anxiety.

lilyofwinter23 March 18th, 2017

That depression is a choice and the person suffering from it can lift themselves outta of it if they truly want to

Nairhair95 March 30th, 2017

That you could control it if you wanted to and that you're just being selfish.

I find it interesting how out of all my family members that I'm the one who least calls my mum out for not doing the washing up or bringing the dog for a walk. My mum has had depression for most of her life and I've had mine now for quite a while. I guess I've realised now that my depression is the reason I go easier on her than my other siblings do. They don't have the understanding of my mums condition that I do.

It makes me sad to think it but I myself haven't been giving the compassion and kindness to my mum even though deep down I know in my depression that's all I ever wanted.

I guess I remember the times when I was depressed and she said to me some poignant words that I'll always remember: 'stop feeling so sorry for yourself'. And this really hurt my feelings. It felt like she was looking at how broken I was and didn't care. I've learnt that maybe she was reflecting on me what I and all the rest of the family told her countless times: 'STOP FEELING SO SORRY FOR YOURSELF'.

thehollowletter April 12th, 2017

how to tell people that u don't feel alright. when they call u lazy and how u should try and get help. when you are told to work/get a job. how can u work when u hate yourself and can't do normal every day tasks?

1 reply
carefreeWords70 August 9th, 2017

@thehollowletter I know how it feels. I'm here if you need somoen to talk to <3

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WGlasser April 17th, 2017

Depression has been wrongly viewed by many to include MH professionals to be an emotional disorder and failed efforts to get in tough with feelings has been all to common.

Misguided insight based therapies, which seek to identify the background causes, also predictable fail over the long run as well.

I suspect many of those who believe and experienced that therapy doesn't work went to providers who didn't provide evidenced based solutions.

University of Penn researchers (Beck, Burns, etc) have learned the etiology is usually distorted negative thinking and have helped millions since the 1960's - CBT has robust empirical backing.

Finally, many wrongly believe that it is their fate or genetic destiny to suffer from depression for life. There is ~ 16% genetic preloading for depression and many have suffered from horrendous pasts (circumstances account for ~ 10% of our feeling of well being over the long run) but nonetheless depression is highly responsive to treatment with CBT to include CBT Bibliotherapy, which could be as simple as reading, studying and applying lessons from a CBT book over a four week period at home. (empirical odds of 70% chance of indefinite remission).

The evidence is clear that Depressive symptoms are treatable.

Sunshinegirl262 April 17th, 2017

That you can't be truly depressed if you're functioning fine. Like if you're keeping you're grades up and showing up to work doesn't mean you aren't depressed

reservedPark9834 June 8th, 2017

what is misunderstood about depression to me, well. Probably that time when I thought my friend said "I cut my wrists" so I said to her "you cut?" And she said "no I'm not a depressed emo" it really bugs me when people think that depressed people are emo or goth.

justasimpledemon June 8th, 2017

Lots of people who are depressed try to hide it as much as possible (which often snowballs and worsens their depression), they try their absolute hardest to smile and seem 'normal'. But what annoys me is when I finally tell people I'm depressed and they say 'but you can't be depressed/ you don't look depressed/ you seem so happy.'

Also when people say 'it's all in your head' like that's literally what it is. It's a MENTAL illness. And it is a totally real and legitimate illness and when people treat it as something you can just convince yourself to get over, that it was caused by something, or that it's a choice, it really makes me mad. Would you say that to someone with cancer? Yes, it's invisible from the outside but that doesn't mean it's not real.

3 replies
BlueButterfly4 July 8th, 2017

@justasimpledemon

I feel like there are 3 major misunderstandings that I personally went through.

1. 'You're not depressed, you're just lazy.' This really hits home for me because a lot of times I can't find the strength to do much, so people assume im only lazy. When really, I lost all my motivation once my darkness vacuumed by light.

2. You have to be firm to someone who is depressed. Ok, now I'm sure there are different opinions to this, but for me I don't like being yelled at or told something is ok when in reality it's not. I feel like people who look down upon depression and act tough towards people who are depressed, just don't understand one bit. It hurts to be belittled, yet people think it helps.

3. 'You're quiet, you must be depressed.' This one literally annoys me so much that I never have anything to say to it. People automatically assume that just because you're not talking or alone somewhere means you're depressed or that something is wrong. It's kind of insulting.

2 replies
justasimpledemon July 8th, 2017

@BlueButterfly4 I definitely agree with you, there are still so mnay things that are misunderstood about depression and I definitely think more education needs to take place in regards to teaching people about mental illness (especially depression since it's so common yet no one really understands it).

1 reply
BlueButterfly4 July 8th, 2017

@justasimpledemon

Yes indeed. I feel like if more people were aware at a younger age, than maybe mental illnesses wouldn't be so common.

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