Passive Suicidal Ideation

@CaptainHowdy Greetings, my best recommendation would be to talk to a licensed therapist. 7 cups community is committed to making sure our members are safe and have the resources to live productive lives. As you have predicted 7 cups listeners are skilled at many different levels and this topic is serious which may lead to trigger issues for other members that are in the active stages- hence feel free to reach out to a licensed therapist. I hope you find a deeper answer to your inquiry.

@3PillarsofStrength

My apologies, please remove it - I do not know how and I greatly wish to avoid triggering anyone.

@CaptainHowdy I am not the author of this community discussion. I will seek how to move forward.

@CaptainHowdy

The topic of suicide is not necessarily against the rules unless you are actively suicidal (ex. I have a bottle of pills and I'm going to take them all right now). I've seen suicidal ideation talked about at 7cups, so you're fine.

Only a forum moderator has the ability to remove a thread, but only if you request it to be removed or it is inappropriate (your post is not). Since you titled the thread correctly, it is a sufficient trigger warning.

@TrueArrow

I'd also like to mention that listeners are trained to provide emotional support and to listen. They are not supposed to give out advice, only listen.

@TrueArrow Thank you for providing feedback!

@CaptainHowdy Lets see if we can get some other listeners that have more experience... to this thread.

@MissZ @Lyra @PuppyLove13 @dancingStrawberry34 @wonderfulPumpkin71 @Ady23 @Georgia @Kayden @Nagisa @ShaiB @Teagan @beYOUtywithin @fluffyUnicorns84

When you have a chance can you provide feedback on this topic please?

@CaptainHowdy

Yes, you are right in what passive suicidal ideation is. I can understand how when you have had those thoughts for so long they can seem normal and thinking that everyone has them. I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling with this for so long, and then finding that it can be dangerous after so many years of thinking it was normal.

It is alright to bring up this topic here as you are not actively seeking to harm yourself or others. We do support those that are passively suicidal, though it may be difficult. There are feelings and emotions around why you may feel this way and you are welcome to reach out to a listener for support if you want to go into more detail that may be triggering for a public post, otherwise you are fine asking this here and I'm proud of you for being willing to be vulnerable about this subject. It can be something quite hard for people to admit.

@3PillarsofStrength

@Teagan <3 thank you!

Unfortunately it can be common in depressed people, especially those that feel overwhelmed or like they can't stop and that life is bustling constantly and they have no escape. I personally also deal with thoughts like this. Feelings like "you know what would be a way to not have to stress about debt anymore? Death." or "if I stepped out in front of that metro bus would I live? I dunno if I care."

A therapist and medication can help but I don't know if there's any way to really make them disappear for good? I've been working a lot with my therapist and she expresses concern and wonders if it's a medication problem but I think it's like any other intrusive thought after awhile. Maybe some work can rewire the neuroplasticity to make the thoughts go away but you're definitely not alone.

@CaptainHowdy hey ♥ To my knowledge it's okay to chat 1-1 with a listener as long as you are not ACTIVELY suicidal and the listener is comfortable with the chat. It can be quite triggering though, so you can set up some boundaries with a listener that is willing to support you in this situation and make sure they realize that you are not in any immediate danger.

Personally I feel it's a common occurance. I don't want to go too deep into this topic as I don't want to trigger anyone, but I will say that many of us feel extremely overwhelmed at some point and may start having thoughts in that direction.I think it's important to let someone know how you feel. Sometimes just getting all those emotions out can make a big difference.

As for listeners, I think it's important that we realize our job is not to "cure" someone from such thoughts, but rather just be a support system. As our name explains, we are here to just listen and make the member or guest feel heard and supported.

However if you feel the need to rather discuss this with a therapist - please do!

Thank you everyone for your responses!

In my history of being under psychiatric care for depression I was instructed by some skilled therapists and experienced clients to say that I'm feeling hopeless, rather than I'm suicidal...unless I really am *actively seeking to kill myself* . Often for me the suicidal ideation is avoiding the issues behind it such as feeling hopeless or powerless or like I can't get out of a situation or out of pain. I agree that we need to exercise Extreme Caution when discussing this topic and have good boundaries with it. I think it's okay to talk about how we're feeling but it's not okay to threaten anything. Thanks.

Carol

@CaptainHowdy

First off, I'm sorry you are feeling so rough! If you ever want to privately discuss your feelings and what's surrounding them, please reach out to a listener here or a friend elsewhere. And if you are in crisis and feel like you cannot keep yourself safe, please seek immediately help from the crisis services available in your country. You are worth it, and people want to help.

You may wish to consider the validity of your sources on this important topic; there are many aremchair "experts" here and in life that have a penchant for bandying psychological terms for which they have only a fuzzy, skin-deep understanding. A therapist, psychologist, masters's level social worker, or counselor are all good sources of information.

In my opinion--and it is just my opinion, so please,m take it with a grain of salt--whether or not passive suicidal ideation is or is not normal is an academic debate that misses the forest for the trees. The important question is: when do you need to get professional help? And what kind of help do you need? And that depends. Please ask yourself these questions: how long have I had feelings that I wish I was dead or don'tr want to be here? How intensely do I feel this way? Who have I told about this already?

Sharing your feelings is a great first step, and I laud your bravery in coming here. By the way, your feelings ARE normal in the sense that you are not alone. Many, many people have struggled with these kinds of thoughts and feelings. Wanting to die and thinking about death and dying are also not abnormal, and in fact these thoughts can sometimes help relieve tension--so do not panic. However, suicidal ideation of any kind is something to take seriously.

It's a sign that you likely need to further explopre the sources of stress in your life, and other feelings and thoughts that are wrapped up in thinking about death. Sometimes an outside, professional opinion can help shine a light on what you're going through, AND keep you from going through it alone and unsupported. If you call a crisis line, it's typically anonymous, so you need not worry about being outed. But if you feel safe and comfortable doing so, it can really, really help to let a friend or family member who you trust and who is physically near you know what you're feeling. It's up to you to provide as many or as few details as you are comfortable with. You can even say, "I'm thinking a lot about death right now and wishing I wasn't here, but I don't feel like I can talk more about it," and leave it at that. It can be very helpful even for people who care about you bsimply to know that you're hurting. After all, no one can help, if no one knows.

Whatever you decide to do, please know that there are real human bveings here who really do care. Again, you are not alone. Please reach out if you feel like you need help, even if you aren't sure. You're worth it, and it only takes a few minutes for someone to listen.

I'm wishing you the best!

Very informative and though provoking response, thank you!

@Captain howdy I've experienced this many times in my life and I often felt stupid using the phrase "passively suicidal." It felt like I was making the term up. In a way, I glad you brought this up as something you experience because it makes me feel less alone and less stupid. Thank you for sharing.

@blueocean45 Thank you, I know how much it helps to feel validated - glad to have helped in some way.

@blueocean45

This thread has helped me, as I frequently have those thoughts, like I wish I wouldn't wake up or wishing I get a fatal disease that takes me quickly.