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helpfulHuman4993
1,792 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 166 Compassion hearts45 Forum posts188 Forum upvotes221 Current upvotes221 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceMay 29, 2017
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I deal with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and various emotional issues. I like to share my knowledge and my experiences.
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I can't stand flattery - anger
Trauma Support / by helpfulHuman4993
Last post
 February 27th, 2018
...See more I was talkin to my male friend today and I know that he has a crush on me. It's a moot point anyway because I have a girlfriend already and I'm a lesbian. That wasn't the issue though. I knew that he had a crush on me this man friend of mine. He and I were having a discussion at my program tonight and he started talking to me in this romantic tone of voice again like he was going to shower me with flattery and compliments. I stopped him with a very cold glare. And immediately I apologized to him for getting angry at him. But I did set a boundary with him. I said to him, " listen I don't want to hear you give me those kind of compliments anymore. Number one I know how you feel about me already number to you know that I have a girlfriend already." I was trying to respect how Ihe felt and treat him respectfully but I felt sexually harassed again. The dark side of this is that I react very similarly toward my girlfriend when she tries to compliment me. ​​​​​​​ I feel very sad about not being able to enjoy compliments and flattery like non survivors do. I also don't like this exhausting resentment towards sex even existing or romance even existing. Often I wish I was asexual and so was everyone else around me. I'm basically just venting and processing my feelings. I respect my friend very much and I know he's acting very normally. And I'm probably reacting very normally for a survivor but it does make me feel very sad and I know that it isn't sex and men that I hate it's abuse that I hate and how it's affecting me right now that I hate! ​​​​​​​Carol
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