Depressed hiding
I know I am far from ok
I am a mess breaking down
Feeling out of sorts
Hurting on the inside
Faking a smile on the outside
I am the Everyone goes to
For their problems but
When I need someone
They run away .
I am not ok
I am not
Shaking breaking down
Crying mess
@SweetLynn
Hi SweetLynn,
I feel the same exact way. I too am the person that everyone goes to for help and I feel I don't get any reciprocity. Of course, I never ask for help from anyone. I think I've enabled people to use me to provide support to them, make them feel better, and solve their problems.
I've pretty much eliminated everyone from my personal life to avoid this. I've isolated myself from others so that I don't even expect anyone to be there for me. Sometimes this makes it easier for me and other times not.
Someone shared this link with me not long again and I found it helpful in understanding why I feel this way. http://rosspsychology.com/blog/cognitive-therapy-101-core-beliefs
**Scroll down to the section that says: Caretaking/Responsibility/Self-Sacrifice
You're not alone in feeling the way you do. I know first hand how difficult it is and I am feeling the same as you are today. I wanted to post back to you as it was helpful to me to know I wasn't alone in this emotion. Hopefully I've returned the favor by letting you know there is someone else out there (me) in the same boat.
@smmhkf I've done the same too, pushing people away. And yes, sometimes it is easier to have a mask in front of those people rather than showing your vulnerable side, at least for me, but other times, I kinda wish that they knew what was going on.
Also, thanks for sharing the post! Really relatable for me too. And as I said to @SweetLynn, I hope you also get the help that you need, be it from your friends or even strangers, and I'm here whenever you need to talk :) Stay strong!
@KSWQueen
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked that article.
@SweetLynn
Hey Lynn, It sounds like you are going through a real rough patch. I hope everything turns out okay. If you would like we could set up a time to chat <3 Either way I wanted to stop by and let you know I am sending positive vibes your way.
@SweetLynn I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've felt the same way before, having to mask what I'm feeling while I'm at school. I hope you'll find someone you'll can confide to, I recommend talking to a listener here. Personally, I feel more comfortable talking about my problems if the person I'm confiding to don't know me irl, and another way is to write out your feelings, just like how you wrote this post. Writing a blog might be able to help you too, and I truly hope you'll be able to get the help you need. And you're not alone, I'm here to talk anytime you need to! :)
@SweetLynn I'm so sorry that you've been going through such a difficult time and have had no one to talk to. I want you to know that you can always reach out to us. We're here to listen and help you get through this. Thank you for reaching out.
@SweetLynn
Hey, its okay to not feel okay sometimes but as you help others, you must remember there's also someone on here to help you if you need it. Other then that, you could try seeking medical advice from the doctors or counselling. You could try pictures to present feelings or write everything down and then throw it away. There's alot of ways but find one that makes u feel better to put the mask away forever.