How do you visualise your depression?
Depression is one of the hardest things to explain to our loved ones, because it robs us of our very ability to communicate, and it's so easy to believe that it's a part of us, whereas in reality, it's something that stops us being us. How do you see your depression and what name do you give it?
I tend to view depression as a wave that pulls us under the surface of the water - we can see the surface, see the light, but it stops us swimming up to get there.
[Source]
I have always described it as a purple-black cloud that swirls around me almost like a tornado.
Stuck in dark terrible weather in the frigid black waters of (somewhere) North Atlantic. Floating & getting tossed around like a rag doll. Holding on tightly to floating bottle of pills; coughing & gasping for air. Occasionally I see the light from the big ships go by. This is where my moderate depression lives. I need to get back there to safety But the waves just push me further away.
At least On ship I have some warmth & a couch to sleep on, & a therapist. Some stability & some safety. Not ideal but better than drowning. One day I'd love to see land but deep down I know I will never. Land is where healthiness is.; Where normal people live. Where depression can't exist. I know I'll never get there but sometimes I can catch a glimpse of the shoreline. Not in a long time though. Nowadays not so much. Just concentrating on trying to hold on to my floation device (my meds) and pray the weather changes.
@Area25 the weather always changes...that's hope.
Believing that there is no land ever again is too scary @Area25
@bestVase7265
It truly is; I'm sorry i really hope I didn't upset anyone. Should have been more mindful of my wording - definitely didn't mean to suggest it is anyone elses destiny - just feels like my own as I haven't gotten to a boat much less land in so many years. Been isolated for so long I've lost a lot of my communication skills - foresight being one of them apparently.
Take care everyone
I see my depression like a consuming darkness that leaves me feeling faded and lost. Know one understands how that feels and just tells me to snap out of it. Every day is an inner emotional battle that leaves me emotionally and physically drained
I visualize it as an overbearing force, telling me that I am worthless and the only reason I'm alive is to show what happens when you are depressed. It convinces me to stay away from people and not get too close, for all I am is a bother. And I hate it the same way a prisoner hates his prison, but I can't seem to leave.
It is a worm waiting to invade my brain at the first moment that I think I am getting better
It's like someone twice my weight is on my shoulders. Sitting down helps, lying down helps. But the more I sit, the louder he gets and the more he calls for action. Run away, run faster, run harder, try, don't try, etc
I visualize my depression as a sad little girl desperately clinging onto my back and never letting me go. Her energy is transferred into my body where her limbs meet my skin. And together we walk around heavy tired and sad.
Or sometimes I see it as a thick blanket suffocating me.
I see my illness as a second me that each time that I start feeling better, push me behind as a vacuum cleaner. It does not let me going forward, does not let me speak, see, breath, feel, think and to be as I really am, a perfect human been as all of us are with a perfect life.
Depression for me is a dark fluid that leaks into my body when I let it in and I let my guard down. And it goes and flows through my blood and goes everywhere since it hurts everywhere.
Its a small dark room with a lock and the only way to leave is to jump out the window
