Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Ok well rested, my depression hits hardest when tired.

I'm alone no one to talk to no one to hang out with no one to call no one to care I'm alive

I been down in the dumps been in bed for 3 weeks just about the whole time really could use a male listener steady if possible

Honestly, I just feel numb. Not sad or happy. Just nothing.

@An0dyne I experienced this emotion not long ago and your right theirs no other way to describe how the heart makes the brain switch, intense!! Cyber hugs xx

@Ashrams

Thank you for the support. It really means a lot to me :)

Not happy

Feel completely broken and sad...💔 finally feel at my limit!! #emotionallyandmentallydrained...

I keep saying that I have reached my limit but then somehow I manage to make it another day by reaching out to others There is no choice but to try..@Ashrams

Alone. Like a giant burden. Sad.

Ugly, alone, confused, upset, hateful

I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay

@peachSailboat2974 I can't hold you, but I can at least say you will get over this eventually. Maybe it will take years, maybe your just a few weeks ago, I really hope you're just a day or two away, but I can promise one day you will wake up and realize that your problems are gone, and that you've felt better than you have in a long time.

It feels like a ping pong, match is ping on, emotions up and down

not that great ,i never do just like really distant ,dont feel part of anything

@brightPeach966 everyone is a part of something, people care about you!! I hope that you will be alright, talk to me if needed, I'd hug you if I could

I am no one and nothing,

I haven't wanted to eat.. I'm been sleeping a lot and isolated myself in my room when I am awake... All because of things at school...

@BrokenGirl0250

@BrokenGirl0250 everything is going to be alright💖

@BrokenGirl0250 almost exactly the same for me too

I'm just feeling so empty and worthless, like as if I had no reason to exsist

@Saelan do know why you might feel this way??

@Madtt321 I guess it's because I'm actually a worthless bad person.

@Saelan That can't be true. I'm sure you wouldn't let anybody say to someone else that he's worthless. Nobody is worthless. I would think you are miraculous.

@Malapropp and on the other hand I don't know any person here who would be so extreamely good. We all have our faults. We all have the capability to badness and we all do bad things sometimes, human beings do. But we also have the capability to try to correct things, learn and grow, and often stumble again. Don't be too harsh on yourself. We are all together here trying.

I feel so unsuccessful, tired, sad, and empty. I wasn't always like this. And it is making me feel more depressed to think that I can't go back to those days because what I think about now...it is like this thick chain around my leg attached to the bottom of the sea and my head is just barely out of the water. Dragging me away from my future dreams, unable to move on.

i just had to let that out.

is dead a valid feeling? because that sums everything up

sad

Feeling kinda lost and lonely to be honest. Finals week is approaching along with other deadlines in my life and I'm wondering what the hell am I doing with my life. I'm scared of failure but I feel like it's no other choice these days and I'm wondering why I'm even trying

I have a long story and am currently feeling very overwhelmed and worthless. I am a 22 year female who has suffered for depression for 10 years now. I have just recently started taking medications a year ago and nothing has seemed to be helping me. I was in an abusive relationship for a year which I finally got out of, which was my main drive to get better and see a doctor for an antidepressant. A few months down the road I met this amazing guy that made me feel so happy. I felt like the luckiest person in the world. I went back to my psychiatrist thinking I didn't need as high a dose of medication that I had been on because I was no longer having panic attacks or depressive episodes, not realizing that this was because of the happiness from my relationship and not from my own self. Problems in our relationship got really bad and I would ignore my boyfriend and scream at him when he was doing nothing wrong. When I would drink I would black out only after a few and I would get abusive before and after we broke up. I would have delusions that things were okay, or even that things were worse than they actually were, and it would trigger some sort of emotional reaction. I've had multiple times where I come back to consciousness laying in bed sobbing and not remembering a thing. I found out I went to my ex's house (the one that treated me well) and pretended like everything was okay like we were still together, and he went off on me and I punched him and fought him while he tried to take me home because he knew I was having a really bad episode. I've never felt this low and for the first time in my life, I actually feel like I'm going crazy. I always knew I had a problem, but I feel like this is a point of being psychotic and it's terrifying. I don't know what to do at this point as I would never intentionally hurt myself, but I wish I could just disappear I couldn't hurt people anymore. I need help and I need to know that there's hope, because I feel like there is none right now. I don't feel like I have any chance of getting better as my depression has only gotten worse, and is honestly closer to bipolar disorder than anything, which scares me even more. I have highs now where I feel super positive and like everything is going perfectly, and then with the flip of a switch, I feel crazy and no longer in control of myself and lashing out.

@amh1994 I just wanted to write to say I got so worried about you. I hope you have some relatives or a friend who can help you. Beeing much older myself you seem so young and vulnerable. All I can say is life usually gets easier when you get older. One learns that world didn't break up and life goes on no matter what happened and just being oneself. Try not to blame yourself for the things that happened you didn't want the things turn that way. You couldn't handle the problems you had. It was wonderful you got ride of that abusive, first realationship. I send you hugs. Try to seek for help. I wish I could put in words what I feel when I read your story. I think someday you can remember these days and they are long gone and everything is so much better.

@Malapropp thank you, I really appreciate it. I have been seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist regularly to get me the medications I need to help my depression and mood swings. I really appreciate your concern, it means a lot!

@amh1994 I'm so glad to hear that. Do take care of yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to give and you have a whole long life to heal and get things right. How lovely that you answered. Thank you. When you don't believe the nasty things depression tells you, think of me shouting here: Awesome! There you go girl!

I'm just here... worried, anxious, wanting to go back to bed. My family going in opposite directions, no one doing things together anymore :-(

I actually feel down today.. Just like any other day. I forced myself to eat and didn't even finish all my food. I can't sleep either and I can't push myself to even do homework

I felt so good all day. All week actually. But with Monday closing in, I fear starting on my papers to finish off my year of university. I knew my family was going back home from some visiting this weekend... and now that they're gone and the house is quiet, I'm alone with my thoughts again and that scares me. I feel that weight on my chest like someone's parked a backhoe over my ribs. I feel that raw, rusty tightening in my throat. I feel my back tensing up like I'm about to be in some type of accident. I feel so sad and defenseless today. I don't know if anyone will read this.. but if you do, it would just be nice to know that someone has felt this way and I'm not the only one..

Today I feel really depressed again. It's like I would be standing on the edge of a precipice which is sucking all my strength. I have been in a rather good condition for a long time and I am surprised of the strongnes of this feeling. It feels like I suddenly got lost inside of me. But sharing it, even in this rather sybolic way here, feels good. I am so grateful for the opportunity to say: I am depressed, somewhere without a fear of getting misunderstod and condemned. (At least I hope so). I am depressed. It feels terrible, but I will manage. It is just my sickness not me and not the whole truth. I hate it, but I try not to hate myself althought it feels sometimes very painful to be me. Sometimes it feels quite allright.

To day I feel really depressd. I tryed to get my sons dad to come get me so I could just stop the pain. Get the hurt to go away

@JustM391