Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel pretty awful. Things are so out of control and keep getting worse and I'm losing sight of hope. If it wasn't for my fiance idk what I'd do. I just feel so mixed up and frustrated and like I'm a mess.

I still feel like I should disappear.

I went to bed around 7:15. Didn't eat.

I woke up at 3:30 with a ton of notifications.. But only 2 were from a person..he doesn't really sleep much..so he's always up...I fell asleep on him the other day...and last night I just went to bed.

I've been cleaning my room.. Getting rid of s lot of old papers.. I found a note..more like a letter.. In a stack of papers..addressed to my last boyfriend.. I still haven't read through it again..cause I know it'll hurt. I even found some notes on a piece of paper that I exchanged with a friend of mine...I had asked her out..it was awkward but I was sincere.. as I am. I still like her..but she's one of my closest friends..I'm ok with that. I've been reflecting on a lot..and its taking a serious toll on me. Another friend of mine.. Just got into a relationship...she's happy and I'm happy for her.. I just hate that whenever I get close to someone..they run away..or hurt me..I honestly feel I'll never have a genuine love. I just wanna know what makes people....run away..hurt me..or be ashamed of me..if I ever figure that out I'll be content..but I most likely won't..🙈

I felt really stressed to start with today. Then I worked out which was incredibly difficult cause I could barely function. On an impulse called a friend n we talked. I feel good tired now. I hope I can sleep tonight

I feel very lonely today.

@090801, sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I can't do much, but would you mind giving you a hug?

*hugs*

@odetopie20 love the post. You can be your own Superhero. And you do have to help yourself help the depression along. Things are hard sometimes. I think we all know that and that is why we are here. I'm sorry you are down and I hope you get better. Ty for posting I feel the same way a lot and reading this helped. :)

I've made some mistakes and I'm just hoping they don't affect me in school. Although, I feel like I'm not going to have such luck anytime soon....

I feel..alone. I've been abandoned by (since I counted) nearly 30 people..most likely more over the past 6 years..which have been the worst. Yeah, there were some too times...but not much. I try not to trust essily , making myself seem vulnerable I now know for a fact that I literally am a toy to most of the people in my life. I was used in a "social experiment" by my ex..to see if people still had feelings....which is absolute bullish*t. He knew how I felt about him and he and his only friend made a game off it. That hurt me! But he doesn't care. He never cared. I'm not stupid..but people treat me like I am. And just cause I'm 16 and barely 5'3" people think its ok to call me a baby...and tell me I don't know anything. That's not fair. People tell me I don't understand anything.I just don't know how much longer I can handle being alive. No one in this world genuinely cares about me..I'm a waste of space...I'm sure there is someone somewhere who deserves to have my life...cause I don't.

Don't worry my friend , you are awesome. Just understand that it's not your fault. But , I bet you have the one of the most beautiful and golden hearts. You are a wonderful person , thanks for telling me your story and inspiring me , and I kinda felt emotional even though I'm not much of a emotional person. Maybe because it touched my heart and I could relate to it :)

I'm usually depressed and suicidal, because I'm young have had a bad past and I am emotionally weak. The one thing that ever kept me alive was my family. I still thought about suicide but today has been an eye opener for me. I came home and had to be told that my mum is suffering from cancer and that changed me. To think that I had tried suicide not even 3 weeks before this makes my gut twist. When someone who means a lot to you, and something is seriously wrong with them it changes you. My mother is my world, my best friend, the most amazing parent I could ever ask for and I'm at risk of loosing her right now and I know she loves me just as much as I do and I cannot imagine how painful it would be for her if I disappeared. Even though she's in pain, and is terrified she still smiles and she tells everyone it's going to be okay, and I will never attempt suicide again and remember how precious my life is.

TW: suicide, cancer

@Meeku, I'm so sorry that cancer touched your family. It must be overwhelming and scary and painful to cope with something like this. Support which you are giving to your mum in this difficult time is invaluable, lovely.

Your compassion and love is a sign of your great character. You're not emotionally weak, lovely - you've endure every heartache and tear so far. That's not weakness, that's a magnificent, pure strength. Your past is the proof of your bravery and persistence, regardless of shadows and darkness that lurks there.

Suicidal thoughts and attempts are gut-wrenching. The way I see them, though, is a way for your brain and whole existence to give a form to unbelievable pain you are feeling every day. It's not your fault that you desperately search for a solution to break out from this pit of despair. It is depression which tries to drown you. You long to take a breath without feeling a weight pressing on your chest from the moment of waking up to the last blink of the eyes.

You're not alone. There are many people who will help you to cope and ease the struggle. You have support from your family and from this whole community. Whenever you want to talk, don't hesitate, wonderful. We'll listen and help you to carry this weight.

*hugs tightly*

I feel really lonely even when I'm surrounded by people I'm just to exhausted to go anything and have resently started scratching my hand so it bleeds and picking my skin. I'm just so stressed and tired all the time

@courageousSouth8109 being lonely is hard .I hopeyou are better. hugs

Hey everybody,

My name is Aleena , and I am a secondary school student. It was really a pleasure that I get to be a part of the 7cups community. It's such a joy to see wonderful people collaborating and sharing the marvelous stories. All of you are harmoniously working together , to care for each other. Honestly , in today's world it's not a common sight to see people upholding humanity and standing up for others. In fact most of us are materialistic and blinded by the stigmas and so called rules of the society that we fail to understand and respect each other's background. Everybody is unique and uniqueness is not something that separates you from others. Imagine if all of us wore the same clothes, ate the same food and did the same things. Wouldn't it be boring? There are many people who criticise one another by saying ," hey , you are not normal " ; but I wonder , what is"normal".? Uniqueness is wonderful , it gives us a deeper insight to all the marvelous things human beings can do. Instead of complaining about the 1 or 2 things we form have , why don't we try to appreciate the things that God already gave us and be thankful. Sometimes society comes up with this really weird names like 'gay' , lesbian , transgender etc. Why are these. Names even there ? Even with these names , they are still humans right ? What we are actually doing is putting labels and sorting people into different boxes. Just treat others like how you want to be treated.

@ChocolatePoppy1 Agreed, 100%. That was very well written, it proposed an amazing point. Thanks for making my day a bit better.

i am filling depressied cuse one of my suports is leaveing monday and angsheses cause i also have to do a sic evoile on monday

I feel really frustrated and sad. And kind of like there's no point to it because it's not up to me to change the things that make me feel this way.

Hurt // Sad // Worthless

- - I don't see why we bother making any sort of relationships because the majority of our lives are spent on building them up and either disappointing someone else or being let down yourself when it doesn't work out. Friendships that are built on trust and loyalty and empathy rather than material gain and gossip and abandoning others are rarer than unicorns.

I feel numb. I hardly slept cause I talked to a friend until I passed out. The same guy so brushed me off a few days ago or so...messaged me today. He loves to make me feel guilty about everything. I do. I told him I might delete Skype since I barely use it...I still haven't. And now I might delete kik cause I've no friends to talk to on kik anymore. All he sent was "Mk.." Probably cause my name is "deleting??? ✌"

But yeah. He doesn't make an effort to talk to me...So I see no reason for him to be upset with me. I just had a guy try and go off on me..basically saying what I'm feeling is bullsh*t. But he has not communicated with me..but we're still "friends" yeah.....riiiiiiiiight.

I don't need them

I feel worthless, question why I'm even here. I broke up with my boyfriend because he was using me. I stayed with him for four yrs optimistic that he would change but it was always the same b.s. and he never seemed to care. I would listen to all his problems & do everything I could to make his day better but when I needed someone it went in one ear out the other& his response was always a different topic he'd want to talk about. Today was the first day we didn't talk, I'm struggling but I guess he doesn't seem to mind. I feel alone & it's taking everything not to continue crying.

I feel pathetic and it's hurting my family relationships. I want to be left alone, I get angry easily & everything they do pisses me off. I dont want to be like this but I can't seem to get over it and be positive.

I want to know why I'm here& what's my purpose. I have no reason to keep going, no friends or family to talk to about I really am feeling. I feel like the outcast,the person who is there but no one really wants then around. It's all just out of pity. I hate being sad & being alone but the people I care about have left or don't seem to see that I'm really not ok.

Alone, worthless, stupid. I'm at the lowest point I've been in a long long time and all I can think is I'm scared I'm going to do something to hurt myself and disappoint those who care about me.

@LetItBeatles Okay, I'm going to be honest. Just last night I was holding a blade in my hand after 3 years of being clean. Even now I don't know why I didn't cut. But it takes strength to go through that feeling, it really does. If you need any self harm resources then just tell me <3

I dunno. I got a new phone, but the only people I text is my best friend and my guy friend. It's not like they even want to talk to me. I tried texting my other best friend, but as usual she opened it and didn't reply. I fainted this morning and sort of had a seizure from low blood pressure. You see, I have a too tight sports bra I've been wearing and when I sat down I felt fat rolls, so I didn't eat until like 3pm and just sat in bed. When I stood up, I ran to my living room but started to feel dizzy. My brother was talking to me, but my whole body was twitching. So much for starving myself. My grandma now knows an embarrassing secret about me, so she dropped a hint about it earlier. When she said it, it kind of triggered my depression and that's when I kinda started hating life for the day.

And.....I'm confused again..

I was talking to my friend last night.. And.. I'm gonna be honest.. I feel like he's gonna end up using me. I dunno.. Last night he told me if isn't fair that people get to see me everyday.. he doesn't even live in the same state and its unfair?? I can't help that. He can't help that.. I was enjoying talking to him for a bit.. but it didn't feel the same as it did the other day.

I had a freaky weird dream last night.. A lot of people from my past showed up and it freaked me out.. I'm still freaked and it's upset me. I just wanna make amends with everyone who would rather see me dead so I don't have to keep all this guilt.. I blame myself for everything..

The guy who gave me the brush off.. he's really acting like a child. It's like he enjoys to make me feel even more terrible about things I can't control. After he messaged me yesterday I asked what he wanted.."don't worry.. I mean nothing" ok...... then why waste time messaging me?? Oh.. right to make me feel bad.. Make me feel it's my fault.

*sighs* I can't let myself get hurt by people who only want explicit things from me. I may be a child.. But age doesn't measure intellect.. Everyone loves calling me a baby.. They know I hate it.. And continue.. Just like when people use my birth name. I've asked nicely multiple times.. I feel bad for saying this but one of my friends said (since I just can't out as genderfluid) she'll use my birth name on "femme" days... And my preferred on my "masculine" days... And I'm like... But... Non binary...???? I told her in a calm tone. "No. My name is Dax." I'm not mean about it because it has been a slow gradual change with me.. Though I can't make any physical changes.. people need to adjust to the changes. I know it's gonna be a while.. But for some the name change was instant.

I have school tomorrow for the first time since Tuesday.. I've been stressing out so much.. But I don't show it. I miss my friends, yes..but.. seeing people everyday who hurt me.. or don't care about me makes me feel like less of a human.. Even more so.. And.. I just hate myself..

I have been depressed since I moved to this country. I hate it here. I am here bcos of my partner. He is working here and seems doesn't want to go anywhere else. I don't know what to do. I will never like this place and the only solution is to move back where I came from without him. Any thoughts?

Well... I have no idea what to do with my life. Every time i feel more lost And lonely, but The worst of that is that i'm not alone and i'm in a room with a lot of people basically the whole time.

I hate this freaking whole that i feel in my heart and The pression in my heart too. i want to cry every time but i'm never capable to do it because i hate feeling more weak and i hate when The people see The real me.

Me one of those teens who use that cool mask tho hide every feeling. All The people think that i'm so happy and possitive but no one ever try to see behind that mask and for some reason i'm glad they don't.

I have good friends... Like the greatest but that's what makes me feel worst because i don't deserve them. I want to be gone for ever and leave this freaking shit behind but it's too hard because i'm not that strong.

I just woke up.. for the third time this morning... And I feel worse.

I just wish I knew what I did to provoke people..

I'm ready to give up.

@lovingPine3496 Omg, are you okay? Are you in a position to harm yourself? I know how you feel and trust me, it is much better to stay alive and unharmed. If you aren't in crisis then would you like some hotlines for future reference?

@Monarda I'm okay..I'm currently not going to harm myself. I'm just fed up. With everything..

I feel really conflicted and I need some guidance

@thehoodlum I'm sorry you feel this way, it must create lots of stress. What's been going on?

I feel like I'm having a breakdown I was doing so well but my anxiety and depression suddenly kick in I feel so bad, I just can't, I want to drown myself, I feel like such a piece of shit, worthless. I don't have anybody in this country to talk to, I feel so lonely.

sad..

I survived a non-characteristic suicide attempt. I'm broken

Why would you want to

I survived a non-characteristic suicide attempt. I'm broken

I survived a non-characteristic suicide attempt. I'm broken

I feel alone and meaningless.

I feel worthless. Unloved.