Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
It's been a long day of human interaction and right now, all I feel is... inadequate. Once again I feel miserable and sad. I guess I'll really never amount to anything.
I feel like I have to hide everything. I don't trust anyone so why risk judgement?
I feel the same. I hide my depression from everyone and have done for years. I've found about 2 people that I trust and make time for. They're really nice about it and have been through it themselves x
@purpleAcai8038, I'm glad that you have two of great, kind persons who are supporting you all the way. It makes coping with depression easier.
You deserve all of the kindness. Lots of love for today!
@purpleAcai8038 i hide my depression from peopile that dont get it i have a lot of crying i need to do down deep
@Monarda, it must be difficult for you to feel you must conceal your true self from the world. Is is the issues regarding your family or friends or both? If you don't mind me asking, that is ^^;
Sending you best wishes! I hope you are feeling better today.
@Celaeno Thank you! I am feeling better :) They aren't affecting anyone because no one really knows, and I try my best to hide it well.
@Monarda hey! I think that hiding is the easiest thing to do, but the easiest is not always the best. Sending love and best wishes.
-Lucy
@Monarda i hate being juged am very depressied i fill very sick deep down in side
@jenniferlobsinger77 I understand how you feel, I really do. In fact, we have that in common! I can really empathize with you, and the fact that you feel so much pain and you don't want to be judged for it, is heartbreaking. Is there a counselor you can talk to? It's their literal job to listen and they've seen it all, so you'll be okay :)
I feel drained and exhausted. I feel like sleeping for a few years. I feel so lonely it hurts.
@LittleBudgie, wonderful, I really hope you feel better today. I hope you rest and restore a bit of your energy, as much as it's possible while having depression.
Sending you lots of hugs!
I feel like this is a joke. Why can't I talk to anyone in here? :(
@thatinnermargo
are you waiting for a listener? It sometimes takes a while...frustrating.
Yup, for 2 hours already.
@thatinnermargo
sorry, I waited a long while a few days ago and gave up. Are you okay-I'm not a listener just a member. If u need anything I'm here.
So are you saying they never really help your here?
@thatinnermargo
no, they do help and it's amazing....but some nights it's just flooded and they can't keep up.
@thatinnermargo, sorry that you had to wait for so long. It can be really frustrating to just keep hanging and waiting and hoping...
Sometimes there is really a huge demand for a kind ear to listen to our heartaches and that's why sometimes members are waiting so long. But it is an exception, not a rule for this community.
If you ever find waiting for so long and you feel an urgent need to chat, come to support rooms - there are kind members in here, and sometimes also listeners who might have some free time to chat with you. You just need to ask nicely and see who will answer. I hope it helps you, lovely.
We really are trying to support each other's here and when you feel abandoned, that is absolutely far from our goal. All of us are here, because we care and we want to help others in pain. We care about you.
Lots of love, wonderful!
@thatinnermargo I hope you are feeling a bit better today! I know the wait for a listener is long but you can fight through that! :) I also wish you the best of luck in the future <3 Take care
@thatinnermargo Believe me this place really helps, but it looks like tonight there's no one in here... Just keep hope!
I want to stay in bed all day. I've skipped wrk this week. The only reason I left today was so my housemate wouldn't think I was such a lazy ass. I just drove a while, sat in a park, also sat in my car . . . Came across this site!
So let me welcome you, lovely @PenelopePear! Glad you've joined us. If you need any help with getting around our community, let me know. I'd be glad to help you.
Sending you all the best! Take a good care of yourself, wonderful!
Not good today. I don't care about anything anymore. I don't even want to try to get help anymore. I just want to disappear.
@mjiyn2010, I feel the same sometimes. It would be so much easier to dissolve into thin air than to deal with all of these issues and problems. Ehh, we need to endure nevertheless.
Sending you all of my strength!
@Celaeno Thanks. It just seems like it shouldn't be this hard just to live and to want to keep living. Like, the desire to go on should be innate...I shouldn't have to wake up everyday and work so hard to convince myself that staying alive is worth it for some reason.
Lovely @mjiyn2010, every day I am wondering why I am insisting on waking up. I question every of my decisions, my steps, my breaths. I don't know why should I stay so stubborn with my existence, when I all I can feel right now is waves of pain or numbness. I am not motivated to live. But I live, regardless of my brain's stupid signals.
Mostly because I remember the times when I laughed. I remember the moments I enjoyed watching movies, appreciated little acts of kindness, get excited with upcoming day. It is impossible for me to evokes the feelings of joy, but rationally I remember times when everything was different. When waking up wasn't a chore, when I didn't question and analyze every single thought. This is enough for me to not give in. To try and to endure, because I know it will pass. I don't know when, but I'm certain my depression isn't permanent and will fade eventually, because everything in our universe is under everlasting influence of time.
I'm brave and strong to go through the passing hours, to hope to see better days. I will endure, because I value my life enough to keep giving me another chances. And I think this is worth all this pain.
Lots of love, my fellow warrior!
@Calaeno you have such a way with words! Thank you for sharing them with me, for sharing your heart, for reminding me that I'm not alone in this battle.
@mjiyn2010, thank you for your kindness. I'm glad you feel a bit more hopeful. Sending you lots of love!
*hugs*
I feel the same
@MrJimmy, how are you feeling today, lovely?
@mjiyn2010 feeling the same, just smile, try remember something nice smiling about it and keep on doing it for a while it helps...
Same as everyday. Sick, really low and no one to talk to.
Hello how are you ?
It is so nice that you want to start a conversation, you're so kind, lovely @intuitiveCoconut6821. How are you doing yourself today? ^^;
@greeneyes91, and how are you feeling today? A bit better? A Bit worse? Just the same?
Either way, we are here for you. let us know how are you doing. Lots of love!
I can't talk to anyone... I can't open up and express my feelings to anyone about anything at all... I feel like i dont belong here... I want to live but im not happy im depressed... Im too young to be like this... I dont get it
@Mwa7, I'm sorry that you feel so low, lovely. Would you mind telling me how are you doing today? I really hope this day was a bit kinder to you. You don't deserve all of this struggling.
*hugs*
I'm feeling so much in this current moment. And none if it is bad either.
I feel beautiful. I feel strong. I may be crying right now but it's because I feel so beautiful in this moment and I'm overwhelmed by this feeling that I've never experienced before
I don't know how are you feeling now, @discreetAcres6234, but this post is wonderful, beaming with light and happiness and hope, that I want to hanging over my bed. It's so beautiful ^^;
*sheds a little tear of joy*
@Celaeno thank you :) I couldn't believe how full of light I was in this moment. I keep expecting the feeling to go away but it hasn't yet. It has faded slightly but I'm still feeling positive about myself and it's pretty good to feel that way
I guess I should be glad I got a sense of what "good" felt like. Because I've never felt it in the past and will never feel it again.
I don't have the strength for change. I just have the strength for going on. Never rising, never falling. And I'm just stuck watching everyone else progress. Watching everyone else form their connections. Here I am, stuck with the truth of my own neediness, figuring it's only a matter of time before the very rare, exceedingly few connections will be severed from me, forgetting me, realizing that I'm boring and have nothing to offer. Then I can say I'm not wanted again. As it is now, I still can't even pretend that one person should, and nothing's going to change with my life.
God, I'm such a hack too.
Let me bury this here.
My best and lovely @poisontongue, I think we all feel that way. I think "the neediness" you're reffering to is the universal need for every human on this planet. We all want to be noticed, we all want to form connections, we all want to show other the vast galaxies we are hiding in our minds. People go and stay, but you also go and stay from the perspective of other's, so that's life for us.
And progress is a very relative value. You cannot make your virtue out of it, because life is hard and cruel and sometimes it seems the air is filled with sufferings. And you have to take 5 steps back in order to survive. But you survive.
You are moving on. You wake up, you breathe, you write a post. You endure and this is your meaning. Not giving in is living. And after that, there is a whole cosmos.
You are not needy. You have things to offer, because everyone does. You have depression and deeply critical inner voice who wants you to shut you down and be miserable. You need to educate how to tame this voice, because, in reality, you are a caring person who has an ambitious mind and just want to enjoy this life.
You grew so much for the past couple of months, because you created a connection with this community. With me. I think you are not the same person. And if you still want to measure yourself in progress, I think you are better, because you are brave writing and reaching out.
As always, all my love!
